I’m not sure if I’d even heard the term “alpha male” a couple years ago.  But enough people have bandied it about in conversation recently that my curiosity was piqued.

Turns out there’s a whole alphabet used to rank men by their personality and status. Not surprising that many disagree on the definitions. This breakdown of the hierarchy might not be the most accurate or popular, but I did find it to be the best articulated.

So in an effort to better understand this classification system, I’m gonna attempt to identify and label some well-known characters from the big and small screen.

The Original Star Wars Trilogy:

Han Solo is an obvious alpha. Loud, bold, overconfident-bordering-on-arrogant and with a big selfish streak. I don’t remember him ever accepting second-fiddle position to anyone. His alpha traits were watered down occasionally for comedic or dramatic effect, so he’s not 100% consistent…but that will probably be true for any fictitious hero.

Chewbacca, being content as Han’s sidekick, might be a beta. But his low SMV (sexual marketplace value) might make him an omega–at least among non-Wookies.

Luke Skywalker looks like the textbook beta. He’s intelligent, competent, with a high SMV, but also comfortable in the sidekick role. After the wars are over and he retires from the Rebel Space Force, he’ll probably settle down in the suburbs behind a white picket laser fence and raise some spoiled brats with a reasonably attractive wife who gazes lustfully at the old holograms of a young Han Solo when Luke isn’t looking. In fact, she was probably one of Han’s conquests, once.

Princess Leia will eventually settle down with a beta provider suitable for her class and status, after breaking up with Han. Han will eventually be caught smuggling Tattooine moonshine and die in prison, or be killed in a bar fight at Mos Isely Space Port.

C3PO may be a droid, but he sure comes off like a delta. I don’t know how to classify R2D2–he’s more like a child or a pet.

Meanwhile, over on the Dark Side of the Force, Darth Vader looks a lot like a sigma, while the Emperor is more like a gamma with latent lambda tendencies.

Shallow Hal:

I bring this up because I couldn’t help picturing the title character when reading Vox Day’s definition of a delta. Jack Black’s role was textbook delta. Textbook.

Famous Detectives:

Achieving clear-cut definitions is tougher than I thought it would be. Still, I’m fairly confident that Mike Hammer is an Alpha. Sam Spade is probably a sigma. And Magnum, P.I. might be a beta who just whines a lot and likes to talk about his feelings.

Classic Westerns:

Generalities are necessary here for the sake of brevity, but I’ll probably go into more depth in the future.

Like most people, my gut instinct is to classify the typical John Wayne screen portrayal as alpha, but this deserves at least one entire blog post of its own, so I’ll leave it at that for now.

Jimmie Stewart seems to fit the beta mold. Maybe I’ll analyze that some day, too.

Clint Eastwood…I’m thinking maybe a sigma. Or maybe just the darker side of the Jimmie Stewart beta?

The villains played by Jack Elam were probably textbook omega, with occasional promotions to gamma.

The “Road” Movies:

I’m referring specifically to the Bob Hope/Bing Crosby comedies all titled “The Road to ______________”.

Bing Crosby’s characters were the obvious alpha of the pair, while Bob Hope invariably played a delta.