The reboot addicts of Hollywood have convinced Director George Miller to go back and fix something that’s not broken.

The Road Warrior was a landmark film. I won’t rehash my past commentaries on it here. Instead, check out this first car chase sequence:

Now we’ve got a fourth film scheduled for release this summer. When I first saw the poster, I was thrilled. Then I came to my senses.

So here are my predictions for Fury Road:

• The Falcon Interceptor will be destroyed within the first 20 minutes.
• Charlize Theron (and/or some of her Womyn Warriors) will fill the obligatory Amazon Superninja slot, as well as proving the most capable leader in the Wasteland.
• Typical Marxist ideology will be woven into the film, including (but not limited to) environmentalism.
• This time the sexual deviants will be on the “good guys” side.
• Humongous (or whoever the villain is this time) will be thematically associated with the religious right.
• Lots of vehicles will explode.

Those are specific predictions. My general prediction is: it will suck just as bad (or worse) than Beyond Thunderdome. Except the special effects will look better.

What Star Wars fan hasn’t regretted ever clamoring for more films after finding out how much the second trilogy sucked? I predict the same buyer’s remorse for this cinematic effort.