This is the COVID-1984/Riot Edition of the Newspeak Guide. You might want to read the first installment, too.

You may have noticed a lot of people on TV and social media using language in confusing ways that is at odds with the definitions of the words you are familiar with. That’s because you are simply not caught up to the Current Year. Well, the Thought Police are here to set you straight:

CAUCASIAN: A white person. But in certain circumstances, also Hispanics, Asians, or Africans who don’t fulfill the elite’s expectations.

 

CONSTITUTION: It’s not the actual document that the fathers of our country wrote as a foundation for American government, you silly linear thinker. It’s whatever helps the elites achieve greater power at the expense of your liberty and property. It’s a living document. In fact, it’s so alive that there’s not even a hard copy of it–it only exists in the rationalization mechanisms of people who are intellectually superior to you (i.e: Democrats and news network personalities).

INJUSTICE: Using factual instead of emotional reasoning–like reciting actual statistics on crime, police brutality, and race…instead of dutifully skewing it to support the America is Racist Narrative. Injustice can best be corrected by stealing clothes, sneakers or big screen TVs, beating store owners to death, and setting other people’s property on fire.

PEACEFUL PROTEST: These occur when people of the correct political affiliation steal, kill, and destroy.

RULE OF LAW: This situation occurs when collectivist tyrants exercise dictatorial powers and enforce arbitrary or partisan rules by fiat; but the law doesn’t apply to them (especially not that law they swear to uphold and defend when they take office).  Rule of law means politicized law enforcement covers up crimes, tampers with and destroys evidence to protect partisan allies, while framing and railroading innocent political rivals with the assistance of secret courts…repeatedly lying about the entire process while still collecting 6-figure government paychecks and never being held accountable.

SCIENCE: Something you don’t understand, you ignorant, deplorable rube! Science means that effective medicine is dangerous; dubious vaccines are mandatory; being locked indoors for months breathing concentrated germs is healthier than getting fresh air, sunshine and exercise; abortions are essential but knee surgery is not; infected patients should be put in nursing homes among the most vulnerable people instead of using the thousands of empty hospital beds available; and people can catch the virus at the polls but not when involved in a riot. Oh yeah–there’s also 300 genders.

 

TERRORISM: This occurs when people of the wrong political affiliation peacefully assemble to petition their government for the redress of grievances. Especially if they also exercise their right to keep and bear arms.