January 5, 2021
MONEY-GRUBBING SPAMBOT:
“Ted Cruz here. I’m leading the fight to reject electors from key states unless there is an emergency audit of the election results. Will you stand with me? (Link to site begging for contributions.)”
CAPTAIN GEARHEAD:
“Politicians have taken more than enough of what I earn. You are well-paid to defend our Constitution. I expect you to stop the theft of our election at no additional charge.”
January 21, 21021
HAPLESS HOPIUM HUSTLER:
“Quick question for ya…
Do you think President Trump is winning the trade war with China?
Hit reply and let me know your thoughts…”
CAPTAIN GEARHEAD:
“OK–you asked for it: What Trump thinks or doesn’t think is now irrelevant; and MAGA is a pipe dream. He snatched defeat from the jaws of victory–like every other ‘Republican.’
Wait, I know! Maybe we can hold an election to fix everything! Sounds legit.”February 2, 2021
MONEY-GRUBBING SPAMBOT:
“Urgent policy alert! President Biden is expected to ban new oil and gas leasing of federal lands. This could blah blah blah (lost me at “President Biden”) blah blah blah call your representatives to tell them blah blah blah.”
CAPTAIN GEARHEAD:
“And what, exactly, are my “representatives” going to do? Listen to me because my vote counts? Stand up to the Democrats? Maybe appoint some judges who aren’t cowards or sellouts? Sounds legit.”
Of course even these brief interactions are a waste of time–just not as big a waste as it would be to take the solicitations seriously. Also, I need to vent and whoever’s at the other end of these messages are begging me to do it. Request granted.