Velin – The Lothorian: The Rifle’s Song by Black Knight
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When I first picked up and started reading The Rifle’s Song, which consists of Book 1 of Velin The Lothorian, I couldn’t help but get Star Wars vibes with a ‘Conan the Barbarian” type of main character. This is probably due to the blend of sci-fi and classic fantasy/action that we get to read starting on page 1 and all throughout this book. The author unsurprisingly credits R. E. Howard’s Conan The Barbarian for his inspiration of this character.
But the comparison to Howard’s classic hero ends right there at the surface.
CONAN/VELIN:
The son of farmers in a distant world, Velin grew up learning hard work and how to farm land from his father. After his mother’s death due to illness, at the age of 8 a gang of slavers attacks his village, killing his father in the process and taking young Velin as a slave for hard labor.
And just like Conan, the following years of hard labor and harsh conditions will forge him and prepare him to become the unique warrior he’s destined to become.
After years of captivity Velin earns his freedom by sheer will, acute killer instincts, and physical prowess. When he is taken up by a group of Terran samurais called the ‘Terr’aan Knightly Order’- dedicating their lives to fighting slavery and injustices across the universe-Velin masters the fine arts of combat, thus becoming the perfect killing machine to fight evil and protect the weak.
NOBLE INTENTIONS/WEAK EXECUTION:
Let me emphasize the indisputable fact that the author known as Black Knight is truly an outstanding human being with a noble heart. He understands the concepts of good and evil, of chivalry, of the pure and selfless hero. However where I feel he falls short is in putting it all together, for different reason:
- Character Development: all the characters we encounter in this story feel like they need more fleshing out. We know the basic facts about them but they are all very one-dimensional and they function only on one gear.
For example:
“He sought to draw strength not from his bleeding, scorched body, but the hallowed Terr’aan railgun instead.”
I thought it was awkward to have the main character draw strength not from his mother or father, or even his mentors, but from an object, his railgun (??)
2. Prose: I know English is the author’s third language but when we decide to put our book on the market for a price, we should ensure that the editing/proof reading is up to standards. The writer has this tendency to always put the subject last in a sentence which creates awkward structure overall.
Example:
“Gargling, the dying, terrified beyond measure road bandit, raised his hand.”
Also there are some word choices that the author overuses like olden instead of ancient, or nigh instead of near, or ‘twas instead of was.
I understand that indie authors for the most part work a day job and professional editing costs money, but if we feel readers should PAY to read our books, competent editing and presentation are essential.
CONCLUSIONS:
This is a book very well suited for younger readers who enjoy comic books and are perhaps only now finding out about the beauty of long-format fiction. Children of 10 years and older would absolutely love it. This would make a great gift to those youngsters that we want to introduce to classic pulp.
I know Black Knight has a big following online who seem to genuinely love his work, so don’t let this review dissuade you from at least sampling his pulp novel.
🦀
Editor’s note: Make sure to stop by the Based Book Sale and find yourself some great reads!