Pray tell what fraud?
The Muslim fraud.
Ding, dong, the Muslim fraud is gone!
He’ll take Jimmy Carter’s role
More apology tours on the public dole
But let’s make our country great again,
And bring those jobs back!
Now he can’t worry ya.
Send the candidate back to Manchuria.
Worship Allah and Karl Marx
You fart-blocking weasel!
Ding, dong, and adios!
He’s coming out? Well that’s just gross.
Ding, dong, the queer impostor’s gone…
When the audience is young, suspension of disbelief is much easier. I watched some abysmal movies and TV shows up into my teen years that usually didn’t bother me.
Whether the movie is good or bad, though, the fight scenes are almost always laughable. Once you begin paying attention, it’s hard not to notice the cheesy aspects–like Western Union Punches, for instance.
See if anything bothers you about the clip below:
Now, granted, this fight scene is from a comedy. But what’s sad is, films we’re supposed to take seriously are just as bad.
Notice the Adam Sandler character, who has been a brawling goon up to this point…how he just stands around waiting to be hit. It’s in the script for him to lose the fight to Bob Barker, so he just plays crash dummy.
Maybe I’ll post an example of a good one some day, if I can find one…
Yes–that’s right: Elite hackers from the Kremlin prevented us from posting anything at Virtual Pulp for the month of December! 13 different intelligence organizations have determined that Putin’s Cyber Warfare Department rigged the blogosphere in a misogynist conspiracy to prevent the first female president from taking power. The exact connection between Virtual Pulp and the election can’t be divulged at this time for national security reasons.
In other news: another domestic terrorist attack! A suspect who goes by the name Muamar Fuqfridum opened fire on bystanders (we avoid the term “innocent” because there may be a possibility some of them voted Republican) with a semi-automatic muzzle-loading artillery machinegun, before detonating a bomb that killed 50 innocent victims (we know they were innocent because they were all registered Democrats inside an LGBQT-friendly nightclub, before they attended a private party at Comet Ping-Pong). The suspect was seen waving a Koran in his free hand screaming “Allahu akbar!” during his rampage. Experts are not entirely sure what his motives were, but are investigating a possible connection between the suspect, Mike Cernovich, and Donald Trump.
Meanwhile, a group of high-IQ Black Lives Matter activists beat a young white male, kidnapped and tortured him while recording video of the incident and later posting to Faceborg Live. While torturing the young man, they repeatedly shouted “F*** Donald Trump!” and “Death to Whitey!” Experts are not entirely sure what motivated the kidnappers, but the NAACP is looking into the possibility that the young man might have oppressed the kidnappers by flaunting his White Privilege, and triggered them with microagressions while violating their safe space.
Five seconds ago, an innocent black youth was gunned down by a rogue white cop while charging him with a machete…while on his knees, hands raised in surrender, with his back to the officer while shouting “Please don’t shoot!” Experts have concluded that this is a racist hate crime resulting from centuries of racism in racist America perpetrated by hateful free market racist entreprenuers clinging to racist Christianity and the racist gun culture. 13 separate intelligence organizations have discovered a vast, right-wing conspiracy of conspiracy theorists, climate change deniers and free speech advocates who have infiltrated the police and weaponized them against the black community. Links have been established between the racist cops and the racist NRA, as well as racist Tea Party members and racist veterans with PTSD. Racist, racist, racist. Did we fail to mention racism as the motivation? And furthermore: rape culture; toxic masculinity; homophobia; Islamaphobia; Russian hackers; intolerance; culture of hate; home schoolers; Iran-Contra; Watergate; one-percenters; global warming; sexism; the pay gap; fake news. And racism. The science is settled.
The grandfather of this latest Magnificent Seven movie was Akira Kurosawa’s classic The Seven Samurai.
Set toward the end of the feudal period in Japan, the plot blossoms out of a small village ravaged by “brigands.” The villagers’ livelihoods are being progressively wiped out by succeeding raids, and their very existence will soon be threatened. A wise villager proposes a plan to pool what remaining resources they have, and use it to hire samurai to protect the village. Seven alienatied warriors, for various reasons, answer the call. What follows is, in effect, a suicide mission, in which the samurai face overwhelming odds with inferior weapons and equipment (the brigands have horses, armor, and even firearms while the samurai have nothing but their swords and the clothes on their back).
In 1960 the story was transposed into the Old West, in a film directed by John Sturges, starring Yul Brynner, Steve McQueen, Charles Bronson, James Coburn, Robert Vaughn and Eli Wallach. The samurai are replaced by gunfighters, of course. The remake is not without its flaws, but certainly has some memorable lines.
In 2016 the latest update hit the screen. I was not even aware of it, due to how hectic personal life has been lately…until a few days ago.
Some character types have survived the evolution of the story, and the core of the plot remains the same. But the SJWs in Hollywood just could not help but conform it to The Narrative.
The Japanese original suffered no obligation to ethnic diversity; but the new Seven is composed of mostly minorities (one each: black; Asian; Mexican; native American), and none of the white ones survive. (OMG! Is this a metaphor of WHITE GENOCIDE?!?!?!?!?) Denzel Washington is a great actor, who has been believable in every role I’ve seen him play. Furthermore, there were some black cowboys and soldiers on the frontier. But the Chisolm character is the de facto leader of the Seven and nobody (even among the bad guys) so much as mutters under their breath about it. Granted, 19th Century America was not the racist holocaust SJWs tell us it was (when they’re not trying to convince us that the USA was founded as the secular welfare state it is now, where illegal aliens are treated better than our veterans/citizens; it’s “legal” and even mandatory in some cases to discriminate against straight white males; and the only people with inalienable rights are sexual deviants). But there certainly were bigots who weren’t afraid to speak and act on their prejudices.
As if the suspension of disbelief weren’t strained enough, the film makers just had to insert a Brave Womyn Warrior into the message film. She is the de facto leader of the townsfolk during the war against the cutthroat army (led by an Evil White Male, of course).
Yeah, okay…
Despite all the social engineering, Magnificent Seven 2016 is an entertaining 133 minutes. There are plenty of dramatic scenes and fun action sequences to keep your attention. Technically the acting and direction is Grade A.
If you have the time and inclination for a movie marathon, you could do worse than watching this one back-to-back with the 1960 film and the original (and best, IMHO) Seven Samurai.
I originally read this as a mass-market paperback titled Vigilante. I was just beginning to appreciate westerns at the time. I’m so glad to have found this. I subsequently bought and read the entire Reno series. Most were pretty good but I’m confident this is Morris’ pinnacle in fiction.
Jim Reno is a Confederate veteran, a reformed alcoholic and some-time “gunslick.” He’s also, like so many of us, spiritually lost…unsure how to fill the God-shaped hole in his soul. This is Christian fiction, but not preachy (or wimpy). There is one sermon in the yarn, which lasts for a paragraph of roughly three sentences. Christian characters surround Reno but, while it is no secret what the author believes, he doesn’t sermonize. At his core, Jim Reno is a “good person” who has fallen short of exemplary behavior in his life, and who wants to get right with God, but spends a good portion of this series alternating between running from his Creator and surrendering to Him. Something I can relate to. I haven’t read tons of Christian fiction, but I’ve read enough to be sick of the formulaic conversion of the main character at the end…reciting the sinner’s confession, standing ovation, blah blah blah.
One “bad person” does get saved in this novel, but Morris pulls it off deftly. I was so engrossed in the story I didn’t see it coming.
Morris likes to pepper his tales with romance, too. I do fault him for the way he shuffles love interests in and out of Reno’s life. Between the first and second books in the series, for instance, his happily-ever-after soulmate disappears with no explanation whatsoever, never to be mentioned again. In this one, the love interest Morris spent the entire previous novel priming for Reno is unceremoniously kicked to the curb in lieu of a brand new one.
The plot should be familiar to those who’ve read in the genre, or even watched western movies. A frontier town is at the mercy of lawless, greedy cattle barons and their hired guns. Decent folk band together in an attempt to protect themselves and the innocent, and turn to Jim Reno who has that rare (in reality) combination of a heart of gold and talent for violence. Reno, of course, doesn’t want to get involved, for all the I’m-trying-to-escape-my-violent-past reasons.
Whatever faults I could list here (and believe me: I could nit-pick ANYTHING if I put my mind to it), Boomtown is a great read. It is hard to put down. The bad guys will curl your lip, you will grieve for the victims, cheer for the good guys, and close the back cover with a satisfaction only the great books can give you.
(From the Two-Fisted Blog Archives)
This conversation took place during the New York demonstrations against the results of the election.
SILVER SPOON BLACK WOMAN: This country was built on the oppression of dark people!
WORKING CLASS WHITE MAN: First of all, slavery was brought over here before there was a United States of America. Second, we fought a war to end slavery. We fought and killed our brothers and cousins to free the slaves, because we’re “so racist.” Slavery lasted about 80 years here. Care to compare that to another country? Take your pick: Africa, Asia, Europe, Central or South America…pick your continent.
SSBW: Slavery wasn’t as brutal in other countries. It was more like just being servants. It’s America that made it such a dehumanizing thing.
WCWM: (Scoffs) You’ve been watching too much TV. African slaves in Latin America were treated much worse than in the USA.
SSBW: That’s just what you say. You don’t know that.
WCWM: I study history because I want to know the truth. You should try it. The information’s out there. You read a few memes on Facebook and assume you know everything there is to know.
SSBW: And so what if you ended slavery? That’s nothing to pat yourself on the back about. The fact is, you still did it. And you took this land from the people who were here before, so it’s hypocritical to want to keep other people from coming in and taking it away from you.
WCWM: Can you name one country where the territory wasn’t won by a group that displaced another group? Why is nothing bad unless Americans do it?
SSBW: I’m talking about this country. This is the one I live in. And just because other countries have done something doesn’t make it right when America does it.
WCWM: So the standard for America is perfection, but every other country can do whatever, and are superior in your eyes?
SSBW: I didn’t say they are superior.
WCWM: You want to make us just like them. And you act like I’m wrong because I don’t want their invasion of us to continue. Why is that?
SSBC: The point is, this is a racist country, and you’re too blinded by your white privilege to understand what I go through as a person of color.
WCWM: I understand. You’re given scholarships for nothing but being born your color. You’re given hiring preference for nothing but being born your color. All by oppressive, racist America. You poor victim.
SSBW: Those things are just compensation for what we have to go through every day in life just because of the color we were born with.
WCWM: Oh yeah, I keep forgetting how oppressed you’ve been. Your parents weren’t allowed to work any job except maids or butlers; you weren’t allowed to live in a well-to-do suburb; you were denied an expensive education and you weren’t given a six-figure job right out of college.
SSBW: I had to work for all those things!
WCWM: Ah, so you’re a victim because you have to work for something? They should have just handed it all to you because you’re black?
SSBW: (Under breath, grumbling) People who never experience prejudice just can’t see it.
WCWC: Now you’re assuming I’ve never experienced bigotry, and you assume it because of my skin color. That’s textbook prejudice, right there.
False Flag is a near-future SHTF speculative saga of economic collapse and civil war, in which the specops-veterans-turned-military-contractors from Hell & Gone and Tier Zero face catastrophes on the home front.
“Henry Brown takes down some very dark paths in this cautionary tale of the near future USA. Using lots of story straight from today’s headlines (and back page articles…) we see a very nefarious plan against the citizenry…..and the Retreads spring into action putting their mettle to the test….” – J.G. Scott
“Henry Brown is a talented author, a man with a mastery of dialogue and pacing that knows his craft intimately. This book, I can tell, was his attempt to try something a bit…uncomfortable. A challenge. And he pulled it off with the same dexterity I’ve come to expect from him.” – Nate Granzow (Author of Hekura, The Scorpion’s Nest, the Cogar series)
“Henry Brown has crafted an action-packed romp that is both enjoyable and terrifying.” – R.A. Matthis (Author of The Homeland series, Ghosts of Babylon)
“This book keeps you wanting to know what happens next – and really makes you wait to find out. The divergent story lines of regular Americans eventually tie together to culminate in a larger story of a nation in crisis.” – Amazon review
“What an exceptional story.” – Amazon review
“Third book in the series,. Could stand alone but you don’t want to miss the first two. So go back and purchase Hell and Gone (one of the best military thrillers ever written) and then Tier Zero. You won’t be disappointed.” – Benjamin Drayton
Recently I organized a little media blitz for my debut shoot-’em-up, and ran a 99 cent promotion. The results have been encouraging.
I’m not a full-time author (I still work a “real” job, drat the luck), so I’m not able to sit at a computer all day and track rankings. The best I saw was that Hell & Gone hit #1 bestseller in war, pulp, and men’s adventure, and reached #70 on the top “paid in Kindle store” on Tuesday night. It was inside the top 50 in some other categories, too, but I don’t know where it peaked. Could a healthy number of reviews/increased visibility be forthcoming? You can bet I’ll be paying attention, when I can.
I’m not sure how many sales I’m getting on Kobo, Apple and Barnes & Noble, where it’s also on sale for 99 cents. (BTW both Hell & Gone and Tier Zero are also available as Audible audio books.)
I also have a 99 cent promotion scheduled to start Saturday (November 5) for False Flag, the third book in The Retreads series. I don’t have the same level of media blitz lined up, and it’s a darker/more controversial storyline, so I don’t expect the same caliber of spike. However, Election Day happens right in the middle of the promo, and approximately 40% of those who go to the polls will be voting to make this speculative dystopia a reality. So it’s kinda’ fitting.
UPDATE: The sales reports are trickling in from other stores, starting with Barnes & Noble. Don’t know where it put me on their algorithm, but I see a boatload of sales. I need to do this again.
A general pet peeve of mine is when an author or film maker attempts to depict military action, or a military milleu, and obviously lacks the knowledge to do it right.
One specific annoyance in the last decade or more is the hand-arm signals used by actors portraying fighting men.
(Such signals are used by marines and infantry while moving tactically in the field, prior to contact, lest they break noise discipline by talking.)
Now, granted: units down to the platoon level often develop their own S.O.P.s for signaling, but in my experience the basic set of signals (get in the wedge; move out; double-time; cease-fire; rally point; head count; halt; freeze; enemy sighted; etc.) are universal across the combat arms in both the US Army and USMC.
So here’s what I think happened: Some movie was made depicting soldiers or marines on a patrol or some other tactical movement. The point man heard or saw something to make him suspect the enemy was close, so he gave the signal to “freeze.” The grunts stopped in their tracks. Some other film maker watched the scene and decided, “Hey, that’s kinda’ cool. Now I know everything I need to know about tactical movement.”
So that film maker, when it was his turn to display his wealth of military research, had an actor use the gesture when it was his turn to film such a scene. Problem is, he thought it was the symbol for “halt,” (open palm facing the troops: “Come to a stop, you richard-heads.”) which is used in different circumstances than “freeze” (raised fist: “Don’t make a move or you might get all our asses shot off!”)
After that, any time a similar scene was shot in any subsequent military movie, rather than hire an advisor to police basic minutia like this, the director went by how it was done in the last flick. After all, “it looked cool.”
So now, invariably, the “freeze” signal is used to command a halt on the screen (even in non-tactical situations, and even in vehicle convoys).
The fallacy is so ubiquitous that I wouldn’t be surprised if actual soldiers begin jacking up the S.O.P. in a life-imitates-art manner after having grown up on these poorly researched movies.
[End of rant.]
…So claims the latest review of The Greater Good, my “satire-tastic” lampoon of SJWs, superhero/action-adventure tropes, and The Narrative in general.
“However,” she warns, “it’s heavily packed with sarcasm.”
I have no idea where she got that notion. In fact, I take umbrage that she would even imply I’m capable of such vulgar behavior at my hallowed keyboard.
Fellow author Kia Heavey says, “The pages are packed with witty, pointed mockery of today’s Progressives that actually made me laugh out loud. Spot-on and silly at the same time, The Greater Good is written in a heroic, propagandist tone to match the artwork on the cover.”
This masterpiece now has a whopping FIVE REVIEWS!!! Another 195, plus a couple billion sales or so, and surely this literary diamond will be propelled up through the rough to a page where Amazon shoppers might actually discover that it exists. From there, of course my meteoric rise as an author follows a predictable trajectory: bestseller lists; the lecture circuit; world domination.
If you act RIGHT NOW, you can be the first one on your block to get your very own copy for less than the cost of…well, pretty much anything. Even the cost of a bottle of friggin’ water fer cryin’ out loud. (Unless you buy water in bulk from Costco, Big Lots or Sam’s Club, I suppose, if you insist on splitting hairs.) Time is running out, and these e-books are going fast! I can’t guarantee there will be any left unless you ACT NOW! (It’s obvious ebooks are in very limited supply–just look at the prices charged by the Big Five publishers!)
