All posts by Machine Trooper

The War Against Americans

Every week this country is consumed in a new distended orgy of polarized, mutual hatred, set against the backdrop of outrage mobs, race riots, shuttered businesses, scandals, Twitter-induced career ruination, gleeful smear parties, and partisan hackery.

More and more people see writing on the wall all the time. But I had come to believe “conservatives” (whatever that means) would be the very last ones to realize or admit it, due to their myopic optimism.

That so many of them are sounding alarm bells now is kind of chilling.

My soon-to-be-released third novel incorporates into the plot many of the cultural, political and economic trends competing to topple America. Every day I worry that if I don’t finish it fast enough, the toppling will take place before publication is final.

Speaking of that, I better quit piddling around here and get back to work. But here’s a video for ya:

This idiotic conclusion by Brooke Baldwin is just one part of a narrative we’re gonna hear over and over until “everybody just knows” that veterans are dangerous. Almost as bad as (gasp!) Constitutionalists or (hiss!) gun owners.

This meme hasn’t even caught on with most of the flock yet, but I’m already sick of it. Here’s a few points that NEED to be made at every opportunity, to anyone capable of rational thought:

  • The Constitution is the law of our land.
  • Politicians (and all public officials) swear to uphold the Constitution.
  • 99.999% of them spend their careers violating, ignoring, circumventing and perverting the Constitution.
  • They consider their enemies to be anyone who would uphold the Constitution.
  • Their now-weaponized institutions like the FBI, CIA, IRS and Department of Fatherland Homeland Security, according to policy, consider patriotic Americans, gun owners, and veterans, to be a greater terrorist threat than actual, proven terrorists.
  • “Actual, proven terrorists” includes Bill Ayers, the mentor to and ghost writer for the individual presently occupying the highest office in the land.
  • Almost nobody cares. And they won’t care until it’s too late to do anything about all this.
  • And it’s probably too late already.

Book Giveaway: Tier Zero

I’m gonna try this here giveaway thang one more time.

CLICK FOR PAPERBACK

Yes, “Tier Zero” is a play on words. The recently-popular terminology “tier one, tier two,” and so forth, refers to military units according to their respective budgets.  My fictional black ops units, then, would receive even more cashola than Delta or DEVGRU.

This is a sequel to Hell & Gone, for which I just finished another giveaway and shipped out paperback copies to 10 lucky winners. This giveaway will only last two weeks. You can read what it’s about on our Books page, and I’ll post some review excerpts from Amazon below:

It would be difficult to exaggerate how good this book is as an adventure tale, or how much fun it is to read it. – Jim Morris

I thoroughly enjoyed the first book in this series, HELL AND GONE. As good as it was, TIER ZERO is better in every way. The characterizations are deeper, the plot has more twists, and hard as it may be to believe, it has even more of the gritty, well-written action scenes at which Brown excels. I thought I knew where the story was going, but it takes a nice hard turn about halfway through that powers it on to the end of the book. – James Reasoner

Overall, it’s an excellent entry in the genre, and an improvement on his past work. I can’t recommend it highly enough. – Peter Nealen

Although I have no doubt legions of Men’s Adventure fans have tried to imitate the writings of their favorite authors over the years, in Henry’s case, the student has definitely become the master. – Jack Badelaire (Post Modern Pulps)

…Author Brown harkens back to the “men’s adventure” novels that were so popular in the 80s and early 90s. He does an exemplary job of carrying on that tradition and even adds some depth and background to his characterizations that increases their humanity, makes them seem more real — all without ever getting in the way of the balls-out, full throttle action. – Wayne Dundee

…Full of action, intrigue and Shock and Awe. Tier Zero is the best of both ages of Dude-Lit. – D.R. Tharp

Now, I know Brown likes to call his work an homage to the bygone mens’ pulp-fiction genre, but it surpasses that. Sure, he hits on the essentials–the attractive women, the brave, rugged fighting men, and the unmistakably evil bad guys–but he’s a master storyteller, too. – Nate Granzow

The author puts this story together so well I read it four times and got the same hair raising on my arms… – J.G. Scott

CLICK FOR AUDIBLE BOOK


Again, there are no strings attached in the giveaway, though part of the reason I’m doing it is to get more Amazon reviews (and therefore more visibility).

Also, by the time this giveaway is finished, the third novel in this continuity should be published.

 

Book Marketing Blues

The Goodreads giveaway of my debut novel Hell & Gone is finished. I just returned from the post office, where I sent out 10 paperbacks to the winners.

I didn’t realize until just before the giveaway ended that I could see the profiles of those who entered. I was rather disappointed that none of the folks I regularly interact with on Goodreads signed up, unless I missed them while skimming through the list. Oh well–my fiction certainly isn’t for everybody.

I would have been happy if only 10 people signed up, and all 10 won a paperback, if they were people  truly interested in reading this kind of book (and then would write an Amazon review afterwards). But 504 people signed up, before all was said and done, and the ones I browsed didn’t appear to particularly like military thrillers. That leads me to worry that they signed up merely to get free stuff, not really caring what the free stuff is.

Maybe they’ll get the book and it will just sit around collecting dust for years until they host a garage sale. Maybe they’ll give it to somebody for Christmas or a birthday. Or maybe they’ll turn around immediately and sell it on E-Bay. Or maybe I’ll actually get a review something along the lines of, “I normally don’t read this genre, but I got the book for free. So I tried to read it but there just weren’t enough strong female characters…”

Or maybe I’ll just get a drive-by one star review the SJWs are so fond of giving: “This sucks. Couldn’t even finish the first page.” Yes, those reviews happen, all over Amazon.

I now have a list of giveaway winners. Nine out of ten are female. That would be great if the genre was romance or chick-lit or lesbian vampire paranormal urban coming-of-age fiction. But Jack Silkstone called Hell & Gone “A man’s book through and through,” which is precisely what I wrote it to be.

Here’s some depressing details about the winners: three of them haven’t bothered to post a single review on anything at all. One of them has posted one review, and one has posted three.  Only four winners have reviews posted in the double digits and two of them are tied at 12.

Some of these folks haven’t added a single book to their shelf. It’s a little surprising they expended the energy to sign up for the giveaway.

This is building on my bad experience at Goodreads. Previously, in my ongoing quest for reviews, I offered free download codes for my audiobooks to anyone willing to post a review after listening. All those who volunteered took the free stuff and ran. Some even deleted their responses in the thread where they volunteered.

Ostensibly Goodreads is the perfect venue for finding reviewers, because everybody there allegedly likes to read. There are a couple strikes against me right away because…

  1. It’s mostly women (I write for men).
  2. It’s 90% left-leaning feminists.

I tried to counteract this by only advertising the giveaway in groups where my intended audience was likely to be. But alas, it would appear that none of those folks entered, while 500+ from the general Goodreads population did.

It’s beginning to look like this experiment is doomed to the same fate as every other marketing ploy I’ve tried.

Well, we’ll see. Maybe I’m not giving the winners enough credit, because I’ve been stung so much in the past. So far I still plan on a Goodreads giveaway for the sequel, Tier Zero. When it’s all over and the reviews come in (or don’t), we’ll have some data to determine whether Goodreads giveaways have any marketing value for an author.

An author who does not write lesbian vampire paranormal urban coming-of-age fiction, that is.

Drive On by Johnny Cash

I can’t believe I never heard this at Bragg…or anywhere else.

What really surprised me was how much of the jargon Cash picked up on.

By the time I came along, Military Creole hadn’t changed much from the Vietnam days. After (and during) Gulf War One we added to our vocabulary, but it was still essentially the same dialect. Since Gulf War Two, however…sheez, it’s so different now. (Everything’s different—not just the lingo.) I guess it takes a major deployment of some duration to cause a quantum leap forward in vernacular.

Revolting Developments in Revolution

I mentioned recently that I’m on a TEOTWAWKI kick right now, in conjunction with trying to finish my third novel of Rocco’s Retreads–which is a genre bridge from military thriller (Hell & Gone) and men’s fiction/paramilitary adventure (Tier Zero) through dystopian SHTF speculative fiction (the new one), setting it up for a post-apocalyptic fourth novel, should I be inclined to write one. And if the world doesn’t end before I can.

So that’s the kind of audio books I’ve been listening to, and the kinds of movies/series I look for on Netflix as well. Trouble is, I think I’ve already seen (multiple times) everything that doesn’t suck. And more than enough that do suck.

But hope springs eternal, so this show called Revolution caught my eye on Netflix. It’s about some survivors trying to figure out why power grids around the world went down 15 years ago. (Nope, it wasn’t an EMP.) Civilization went back a few hundred years when the lights went out, to a sort of Planet of the Apes quality of life.

I previously reviewed The 100, and a lot of those criticisms apply to this series already by the 3rd episode.

Of course the protagonist is the obligatory Strong Independent Womyn. And, in a world where survival depends largely on strength, aggression and 24/7 toughness in a rough, unforgiving environment, women still sport vogue hairstyles; name brand shoes, prescription glasses, and store bought clothes are still evidently available; computer nerds have survived, maintaining their overweight couch potato physiques while failing to acquire a single survival skill; and despite reversion to survival of the fittest, our feminized culture is still perfectly intact.

Well, culture in this throwback world isn’t exactly like it is right now. It’s more like what the feministas pretend or wish it was like right now. So of course there are amazon superninjas. You just aren’t gonna get away from that idiotic trope in any action adventure from Hollywood. But you knew that already.

sillyrevolution

And there’s also nothing original yet in the plot or subplots. One of them, in fact, was lifted directly from Jericho. Remember the black dude who had some mysterious government connection who had a laptop that somehow still worked, and he would lock himself in a basement and connect to the Internet that was somehow still functioning, to communicate with other mysterious people also online somehow? Favreau’s writers\directors didn’t even disguise the rip-off so much. They changed the black man to a black woman, changed the laptop to a desktop, and want us to believe that an amulet about the size of a key fob not only overcomes the miracle of physics that made electricity stop working around the world, but is also an adequate power source for computers, radios and other 110 volt household appliances, that doesn’t need silly little things like wires or other conductors to deliver power to a device.

It’s commonplace to show military and paramilitary units moving about in a gaggle when contact is possible, in a movie or TV show, blowing noise discipline all to blazes. But I’m developing a pet peeve about Hollywood depictions of hand/arm signals. Their technical advisors have evidently researched the subject by watching other Hollywood productions. I’m not sure exactly when it started, but originally some pogue civilian film maker saw hand/arm signals used somewhere, misinterpreted what they meant, and put them in a movie. Other pogue civilians decided it looked cool, and copied the misuse. I wouldn’t doubt that grunts have to un-learn all this crap when they go through infantry school nowadays.

Like every other TV show and most movies, there’s too much stupidity to document. Just a few random highlights to give you a taste:

  •  In the flashback to the world before the blackout, there are two characters stationed at Parris Island with haircuts even the Air Force wouldn’t let them get away with. (The same two guys who have a conversation in the clip above, BTW. Their hair isn’t that much longer here than when they were allegedly in the USMC.)
  • Ammo is scarce in the new world, so characters have become expert swordfighters. The series badass is in a swordfight with a bad guy and has a few opportunities to kill him after disarming him, knocking his sword out of the way, etc., but instead he allows the guy to recover–as if we’re watching Errol Flynn as Robin Hood, who is just too chivalrous not to give his opponent another sporting chance to get in a lucky stab or slash. Finally, he knocks the bad guy unconscious and THEN makes to kill him. But alas, at this point the Strong Independent Womyn appeals to his morals, because to kill a momentarily defenseless enemy would be sinking down to his level, blah blah blah.
  • A gang of bad guys move in to wipe out a resistance cell that’s inside a building. They don’t surround the building. They don’t blow it up. They don’t set it on fire. They don’t kick in the door and murder everyone inside BATF-style. They open fire at the brick wall of the building with small arms from about 150 meters out, having no idea how many are in the building, what the enemy configuration is, or even if they’re still in the building. And it works.

As can be expected, “militias” are the bad guys. What’s interesting, though, is that they have a Marxist attitude toward the right to bear arms, and consider items like the American flag to be contraband.

 

Mad Max Rides Again

The reboot addicts of Hollywood have convinced Director George Miller to go back and fix something that’s not broken.

The Road Warrior was a landmark film. I won’t rehash my past commentaries on it here. Instead, check out this first car chase sequence:

Now we’ve got a fourth film scheduled for release this summer. When I first saw the poster, I was thrilled. Then I came to my senses.

So here are my predictions for Fury Road:

  • The Falcon Interceptor will be destroyed within the first 20 minutes.
  • Charlize Theron (and/or some of her Womyn Warriors) will fill the obligatory Amazon Superninja slot, as well as proving the most capable leader in the Wasteland.
  • Typical Marxist ideology will be woven into the film, including (but not limited to) environmentalism.
  • This time the sexual deviants will be on the “good guys” side.
  • Humongous (or whoever the villain is this time) will be thematically associated with the religious right.
  • Lots of vehicles will explode.

Those are specific predictions. My general prediction is: it will suck just as bad (or worse) than Beyond Thunderdome. Except the special effects will look better.

What Star Wars fan hasn’t regretted ever clamoring for more films after finding out how much the second trilogy sucked? I predict the same buyer’s remorse for this cinematic effort.

 

A Politically Correct Red Baron?

August of last year marked the 100th anniversary of the beginning of the “war to end all wars.” Perhaps the most fabled combatant in that unprecedented war was a German aviator who scored an incredibly high count of confirmed kills in an era when confirmation was a long way from the ease of verification known during the age of gun cameras.

There is a strong possibility Baron Manfred Von Richtofen shot down far more than the 80 enemy fighters he is credited with. Even so, his accomplishments during the First World War were unequaled by any other ace until the next time Germany duked it out with half the planet. Since his death, The Red Baron has appeared as a character in movies about WWI too many times to count (sometimes with a fictional name, or as a pastiche of himself and other famed German pilots). Most often in British or American flicks he is depicted as an enemy, albeit a gallant one most of the time.

This film is an American edit of a German film. As you would expect in a German film, Von Richtofen is the hero–as he was to the surrounded and outnumbered German Empire during the Great War. I’m perfectly okay with that, since none of the Great Powers had altruistic purposes. Germany and Austria-Hungary were no more villainous than Russia, France, Great Britain, Italy or Japan. Nazism wouldn’t be developed until after the war was over.

Historians can find heroes and villains on any side. Which one Von Richtofen was depends solely on which side the observer identifies with in that first epic European bloodbath.

the-red-baronThe film makers took a major detour from historical facts, and I’m okay with that, too…in theory. Aside from some superficial details about the Red Baron, they tell a story that is based in myth more than reality. And where the traditional myths surrounding the Baron didn’t fit the formula, they invented some myths that do. None of that necessarily made a great film impossible for the director and crew. Laurence of Arabia took liberties with historical reality, as did Patton and Braveheart. Then, of course, there’s the mac daddy of creative license taken on historical figures and events: Brian De Palma’s Untouchables. Even for an armchair historian like me, and a stickler for accuracy, talented film makers can tweak the facts and still wind up with a great flick.

And director Nikolai Müllerschön had a talented cast, cinematographer, and effects department to make quite a humdinger, too. But before I go into what he did and failed to do, let’s do take a factual look at the real Red Baron.

As a Prussian aristocrat, Frieherr Manfred Von Richtofen was a cavalry officer at the outbreak of war. After the German advance in the west stalled and combat deteriorated into trench warfare, the machinegun had made it obvious that the days of horse cavalry were numbered. In 1915 Richtofen joined the Second Reich’s Imperial Air Service. He trained under one of Germany’s pioneer fighter pilots, Oswald Boelcke, and became a pilot himself.

richtofen

Richtofen wasn’t a natural flier and, incredibly, contemporaries testified that even by his final days he wasn’t exceptionally talented. What he was, though, was ruthless, relentless and methodical. Some aces of the First World War may well have been chivalrous, as legend would have it. Richtofen most assuredly was not. He fought just as he hunted—seeking results rather than some adherence to “sportsmanship.” He didn’t just want to shoot enemy planes down—he wanted to terminate enemy pilots so he wouldn’t have to face them again. If an enemy survived being shot down, he strafed them on the ground. As commander of Jasta 11 he taught other pilots to do the same.

Germany’s numerical disadvantage grew much worse after the USA entered the war, and it wasn’t just the ground forces that found themselves in increasingly hopeless tactical dilemmas. The Luftstreitkräfte was also being overwhelmed by force of numbers. German pilots and aircraft were called upon to fly more and more missions with less and less rest in between.  American pilots during the next world war—a war they were winning—were often pushed past their limits of endurance on a routine basis. It’s no wonder Richtofen and his compatriots  were pushed into the meatgrinder  with no let-up as the situation became more desperate, and the high command ever more insistent that they perform miracles to turn the tide.

After scoring 8o confirmed kills (and confirmation was only possible when enemy aircraft went down on the German side of the front lines) Richtofen and his “flying circus” were just about used up: physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted. The Frieherr (Baron) himself suffered from a head wound, sustained in a previous dogfight, which gave him fits of nausea and migraines. After a sortie over enemy lines one day, he strayed too close to an anti-aircraft machinegun emplacement and was ventilated by a .303 slug. After his plane went down, Australian troops paused only long enough to strip his body before spreading the word that the Red Baron was KIA.

Unsatisfied with such an ignominious and anticlimactic end to a legendary symbol of German prowess, allied propagandists were quick to rewrite the Baron’s demise as an aerial victory for the RAF. They pitched it as if it were single combat from the Middle Ages or antiquity—the Teutonic champion had fallen to their own brave knight. Canadian pilot Roy Brown was declared their Lancelot; their Achilles, their David…Richtofen was Goliath, of course. Brown never claimed credit for the kill and, in fact, was so cramped from chronic diarrhea that day that he returned to his airfield only minutes after leaving it.

With all that in mind, it’s no wonder that film makers prefer to steer wide of historic reality.

Were I the writer/director, I too might have revised history to make Von Richtofen a gallant, chivalrous knight from the wild blue yonder. I wouldn’t have followed the current formula by putting the obligatory anti-war sentiments into his mouth, but dominant opinion right now is that such convictions, constrained by a profound sense of duty to “protect his men as best he can” makes a protagonist all the more noble while justifying a “man of conscience” participating in something so unconscionable as war. Obviously that’s what Müllerschön believed.

red-baron

Romantic subplot? Sure, why not. Men fighting wars get lonely, and if we can’t find female company, we ache for it. A German ace and a French nurse? Crazier things have happened, I suppose, and it does potentially ramp up the drama. Talk about forbidden love! And yet despite some solid acting, this whole aspect of the film was lackluster. It probably needed some more development. Whether or not Richtofen had a French girlfriend during the war, there was nothing about this cinematic romance interesting enough to justify its inclusion in the movie.

Wanna ramp up the drama? How about having Richtofen and Brown meet before that fateful day in April 1918, become friends and rivals like two gunfighters who respect each other but just know one will kill the other some day? Two samurais full of mutual respect who dread the inevitable day they’ll have to tangle. A super-detective and master criminal who take time out from their cat-and-mouse to talk philosophy? A Saracen emperor and a European king who become friends while their armies fight? Two master chess players fated to clash…two MMA fighters on a collision course…two snipers on opposite sides… You get the idea. I found this to be a cheap tactic—and a painfully unoriginal one (as well as historically inaccurate). I might have forgiven this ham-fisted gimmick if it worked, but it didn’t. Not even close.

To pull off a story like this, the screenwriting would have to be very good, if not prodigious. Müllerschön would also need enough of a grasp on history that he could at least make his blatant falsehoods seem credible.

Fail, and fail.

Take, for instance, this snippet of dialog from a conversation between Brown and Richtofen as they stroll around no-man’s land:

BROWN: You gonna hook up with that French nurse? She’s got the hots for you.
Why stop there? I mean, if you’re gonna use anachronistic dialog, why not go all the way?
BROWN: Yo, Manny, I be like, y’know, doin’ the straight and level thang, y’know, I’m cool. Then why you wanna’ dive at me outa’ the sun fo’? Shootin’ yo’ gat like it’s a drive-by or somethin’. That’s a punk move, homey.

RICHTOFEN: Yo, it’s like this, dawg: I got nothin’ but love fo’ y’all, but I be like three kills away from my Blue Max, an’ I ain’t tryin’ to have you spoil my trip to Berlin, yo.

dogfight

The death blow for this flick was the decision to tell the story in a disjointed New Wave style. Instead of focusing on the significant plot developments, turning points and action, Müllerschön went the European route, choosing seemingly at random what parts of the narrative to show us—ensuring the audience can’t invest their sympathy for the title character or even grasp how the war and Richtofen’s career are progressing.

Where the film really had the chance to shine was in the aerial combat scenes. Perhaps it could have shined bright enough to compensate for some of the major weaknesses. But not when there’s no beginning, middle and end to your battle scenes. The Red Baron was like watching This Sporting Life—just substitute the rugby matches with dogfights and there you have it in all its ambiguous avante garde mediocrity. And that’s a double shame because what aerial combat they did show looked really cool. It could have knocked our socks off if only Müllerschön had told a story with all those beautiful shots.

In short, The Red Baron could have overcome most of its shortcomings with a different approach, but Müllerschön was unorthodox when he should have been conventional, and conventional when he should have been unorthodox.

(This post was originally written for SOFREP’s “Hot Extract” column. Many changes took place at SOFREP and Hot Extract was either abandoned, or it became all about games or something. Anyway, I wanted to re-post this as part of my WWI 100th Anniversary Extravaganza that never panned out. Well, I couldn’t find where I’d saved the file. I requested the articles I wrote for SOFREP from my old contact there and never even got a reply. They weren’t using them, as all the movie and book reviews we did for them were vanished from cyberspace, but they might very well still be saved there. Oh, well. But then I finally found my own copies saved in a subdirectory on a flash drive I’d misplaced. So here ya go.)

Book Giveaway: Hell and Gone

I’m giving out 10 free copies of my first novel. The giveaway lasts for a month, so you have plenty of time to enter once it is approved on Goodreads.

I’m getting close to finishing the first draft of the third book in this series. Yet, when I wrote this first one I didn’t intend to write a trilogy. In fact, not even a sequel. I considered Hell and Gone a one-off novel.

It was a blend of modern “military thriller,” old-school men’s adventure, and war novel. I tried to give it as much realism as an adventure story could handle and still be entertaining. It was never a bestseller, but it gained some enthusiastic fans. To my pleasant surprise, a few of them were veterans recently back from Iraq and Afghanistan. Vietnam veterans liked it, too. It received comments like “a man’s book, through and through” which was welcome praise, since masculine themes of honor and brotherhood are intended in most of my fiction.

Anyway, some fans asked for or suggested a sequel. At first I dismissed the idea out of hand, wanting to work in other genres. Plus a whole wave of younger veterans were breaking into military fiction, armed with up-to-date knowledge of military technology I didn’t think I should compete with. But a friend around my age (a veteran of the South African military now working as a “security contractor”) told me I should write a novel about combating modernday piracy. I’m pretty sure he was dealing with that very kind of thing during some of the long periods of silence in our communication; but he was understandably OpSec-conscious and never divulged details over the Internet.

Despite myself, the seed of an idea began to form. In time it took over, pushing everything else out of my brain, and became Tier Zero–a full-bore paramilitary men’s adventure, with a Mack Bolan-esque cover, busty nubile wenches and the whole nine yards. My South African buddy made a cameo appearance, with his name changed, of course. This time I deliberately left an opening for a sequel.

Here’s the book trailer for Hell and Gone:

Enter the giveaway for a chance to win a free paperback edition with the original cover. The link is on the right sidebar, and should go active soon. If you’re on Goodreads, then there are no strings attached. (An Amazon review after reading it would be appreciated, though.) If you’re not on Goodreads, it costs you nothing to join. Like any other public forum it has been dominated by feministas and leftards (both readers and authors), but there is a growing subculture of red pill readers; even some authors like me offering an alternative to the chick-lit, romance, paranormal, and other typical pinkshirt pap with Marxist themes and pixie superninjas.

After this giveaway, I plan to do the same with 10 copies of Tier Zero, so stay tuned. By the time both giveaways are complete, the third novel in the series should be ready for prime time.

BTW, if you would like advance warning when the book is about to go live, click here.

Holding Their Own II by Joe Nobody

I’m a TEOTWAWKI/post-apocalyptic fiction fan going way back, to when I first saw The Road Warrior.  For many years, it seems like there hasn’t been a lot in the genre that’s well-written, unless you want zombies.

I’m working on such a novel myself right now, and wanted to keep my mindset grounded in the genre. So I’ve been listening to a lot of late ’60s rock (it works for me), and have tried a few TEOTWAWKI series on Netflix (all of which became overbearingly stupid after a few episodes).

I had some extra Audible.com credits this month, so I went shopping for a recorded book. And, being stung too many times by both tradpub and indie authors, I perused the reviews before taking a chance. I’ve been at this long enough that I usually know which reviews to ignore and which to pay attention to, and author “Joe Nobody” seemed to have a lot going for him. Also, his blurbs were competently written. (You might be surprised how many authors expect you to take a chance on their books after posting poorly written descriptions.) This is why I started the Holding Their Own series with the second novel–opinions were just about unanimous that the narrator for #1 was too awful to endure for hours.

So in this one, subtitled The Independents, the SHTF already, and folks are surviving as best they can.

The hero’s name is Bishop. Not sure whether that’s a first or last name, but it doesn’t really matter. He and his wife have a small ranch hidden in a canyon in Texas, surviving and minding their own business. The story kicks off when a former military/intelligence colleague of Bishop’s crash lands in a small plane after buzzing the hidden ranch.

“The Colonel” is seriously injured in the crash, and a whole bunch of other stuff is triggered as well. The plot involves a Colombian drug lord , a kidnapped girl, a treasure in gold, and a frustrated doctor without the right tools and materials to help his patients…just to name a few.

The adventure factor made this the most fun I’ve had in the genre since reading The Last Ranger and Doomsday Warrior series as a young man, though there are no radioactive mutants or B-movie villains in this one.

Where the author shines is in his characters. Bishop is smart and skilled. Not invincible, but he doesn’t cause me to groan like so many heroes in the genre, either. He faces some pretty intimidating odds at different points, and enjoys good luck for sure, but his triumph is entirely plausible as written. What’s more, I actually liked the character of his wife in this book. Most female protagonists in the genre are written in a way that causes me to roll my eyes and skip ahead. But this one is the kind of woman you’d want to have in such a situation.

Well, frankly she’d be a prime catch for any man in the western world these days, but especially in a frontierish survival scenario.

Mr. Nobody has made me a return customer with this book.

The Book Biz, Blogging, and Amazon Reviews

Seems like there are thousands of bloggers in the manosphere, and most of them either have books published, or will have soon. So a lot of you probably understand the significance of the much-coveted Amazon review.

My first book was published in 2010 and I did pretty much everything wrong. (I became a blogger not long afterwards kind of by accident.) If there was a mistake to be made as an author, I made it. An opportunity to be missed? I missed it—for the first three years of my writing career. Long story short: One truth I found out the hard way was that an indie author’s career lives or dies by Amazon.

The more essential I realized Amazon was, the more of a presence I tried to maintain there.  That, and my old blog, were the reasons I became a prolific Amazon reviewer for a while.

I still get more review requests than I can ever hope to fulfill, so this post can also serve as a disclaimer. My methods may be peculiar or even bizarre; sometimes perhaps inconsistent as well. But nobody’s paying me for this, so I make the rules. At least I have a modicum of ethics, unlike many reviewers out there.

First off, my reviews are honest. I may cut authors slack (see below) with Amazon’s star rating, but I don’t make stuff up or try to BS anybody.  If the book flat-out sucks, I usually don’t even review it. If a review was requested and the book sucks, I contact the author to tell them. If they still insist on a review, I write one and let people know it sucks. I make an effort to be constructive, but you can’t polish a turd.

My schedule is very tight and I have an impossibly-gigantic To Be Read pile. Because of that, I use audiobooks whenever possible. I have an Audible.com subscription and I get my money’s worth from it. If you have an Audible version of your book, that increases its chances of getting read/reviewed 10X, all other factors being equal. It’s a real sacrifice to stop what I’m doing, halt my productivity and read a book. But I can listen to a book while getting other stuff done.

Back in the day I used to read for the pure joy of it, and the escape it offered. Without audiobooks, that phase of my life is long gone. I’ve served my time when it comes to Quixotic thankless jobs helping other authors succeed, so I am less and less inclined to spend precious time needed for my own career to read/review scads of other authors’ books. If you get your foot in my door at all, most likely you’ll have a long wait on your hands (again, unless you’ve got an audio version).

Next, I usually give preference to indie authors. As an indie, I know what an uphill struggle it is and I empathize. So I push indies toward the front of the queue and also cut them more slack on Amazon (I have no star-rating scheme on the blog so just say what I think and leave it at that).

There are exceptions: As a result of my reviewing, I’ve made friends with tradpubbed authors whose books I love. Because they are friends, I sometimes shuffle them to the front, too.

Also, I’ve stopped mucking about with books outside my genre umbrella. Unless I owe you a favor, I’m probably not going to read your book if it’s not men’s adventure (be it science fiction, fantasy, war, western, TEOTWAWKI or whatever flavor of men’s fiction). I occasionally review non-fiction and classics, but solely at my discretion. I have author friends, and sometimes stretch beyond my preference to help them out, but don’t count on it. If you see me review a romance or horror novel, it’s safe to assume that’s what I’m doing.

I’ve gotten picky in other ways, too. In the past, I read/reviewed indie books written from the typical leftist/feminist/America-hating perspective. (Some of the better ones I even gave four or five-star reviews on Amazon. )That’s history. You pinkos already have the deck stacked in your favor, and don’t need additional help from me. Apolitical work is great, but my patience for leftard, globalist…and even neocon…stuff has been worn completely through. I get enough of that crap everywhere else and I’m definitely not gonna expose myself to more when I have a choice. Same goes for “gay” pandering and the obligatory pixie ninjas and other “strong female characters.”

The buck stops here.

And if you sucker-punch me with any of that…one strike and you’re probably out. A while back I was working my way through a series written by some fellow pulp writers. I got sucker-punched a third of the way through one book with some establishment-approved homophile bupkus and stopped reading right there. Never finished the book; never will; and may never try another one from that series. I definitely won’t read that author again. This kind of thing has become a deal-breaker.

As you can surely tell from this post, I tend to be long-winded. Most of my reviews were lengthy—more like scholastic book reports than typical Amazon feedback. (Actually, you’re lucky to get more than a sentence or two from the average Amazon reviewer.) I have begun making an effort at brevity. Don’t feel cheated or spurned if I only give you a paragraph—that’s probably my new standard, for everybody.

It used to be Goodreads was an afterthought for me. I’m in the process of making it my default venue. It’s probably the closest to social networking I will get, anymore. In fact, unless requested by the author, it’s possible I won’t even bother to duplicate Goodreads reviews on Amazon. If you’re on Goodreads, hit me up. I could use some book recommendations from non-SJW/feminista/homophiles.

Finally, there’s an issue that really chaps my fourth point: Amazon’s helpful/non-helpful votes for reviews.

There are a whole bunch of worthless reviews on Amazon. These include:

  • Reviews by people who have obviously never read the book.
  • Reviews by people who have only skimmed the book, or not finished it.
  • One or two-sentence drive-bys that give an “it sucks” opinion without any clue as to why the book allegedly sucks.
  • Hatchet jobs by leftards out to sabotage non-leftard authors based on their beliefs, not on whether the book was good or bad.
  • Combinations of two or more of the above.
  • The positive equivalent of any of the above examples of negative reviews.

“Reviews” like those are deserving of a “not helpful” vote. However, what I’ve noticed is that people vote “helpful” or “not helpful” based on whether the reviewer personally liked or didn’t like the book.

I sacrifice valuable time to write thoughtful reviews. Whether I liked the book or disliked it, I take pains to be constructive in my critiques. I use examples and give reasons for what I say, which makes it possible for the reader to intuit whether they would agree or disagree with my opinions. (Some negative reviews I’ve read have convinced me to buy a book.) I’ve never written the equivalent of “It rocks! Buy it!” or “It sucks! Next!” without explanation. And yet it’s pretty much guaranteed I will get “not helpful” votes any time I give an overall negative report.

Not only that, but I’ve gotten “not helpful” votes on positive reviews because I didn’t rate the book in question five stars!

What a bunch of bovine assclowns.

One more thing along these lines: So far I’ve avoided responding to negative reviews of my own books. But if you’re foolish enough to mouth off a stupid comment about one of my reviews, you will likely have your ignorance thrown back in your face.

UPDATE: Forget  what I said about Goodreads. It is an SJW-converged playground; I have taken my toys and left the sandbox.

UPDATE 2.0: I have now, on occasion, begun responding to negative reviews of my books. Not always, because some readers are honest and honestly just didn’t like something. Others, however…well, we’re in a culture war, and I’ve decided to shoot back.