Category Archives: Historical

What The HighwayMen Tells Us About Our Cultural Paradigm Shift

This recent movie by John Lee Hancock seems like a radical departure from the 1967 counterculture film that elevated Bonnie and Clyde from grotesque criminals to sympathetic antiheroes in popular culture.

Film critics are nearly in lockstep, bleating that The Highwaymen is a step backwards from The Narrative so carefully cultivated over generations. Americans who identify as “conservative” praise the new film because it is more factually based and has a “law and order” slant to it.

Both the critics and cheerleaders of The Highwaymen are stuck in a superficial analysis of the film, seemingly oblivious to how it fits into the context of where we are culturally and politically, and have conveniently missed or ignored hints from the film makers why The Narrative of Bonnie and Clyde has been turned topsy-turvy.

But context is crucial. To understand how both the Hancock and Penn films could spawn from the same cultural Marxist Hive Mind, and yet take such dramatically opposed perspectives, we have to go back to when the Baby Boomers were young radicals spitting on veterans returning home from Vietnam at the airports.

The Boomers were the most pampered generation in recorded world history. They showed their appreciation for the peace and prosperity they inherited by strangling the golden goose, ensuring that nobody else could enjoy the world they grew up in. Pop culture was just one of the weapons in their arsenal.

In the lost America they enjoyed, cultural icons like pioneers, farmers, cowboys, soldiers, inventors, entrepreneurs and fathers were accepted and promoted as role models that children should aspire to emulate. But this infuriated the cultural Marxists, who wanted a society like what we have now, where the “heroes” are degenerate celebrities, drag queens, pedophiles, other sexual deviants, illiterate street gangsters, sleazy lawyers, hate crime hoaxers, infanticidal feminists, grifters, serial killers and treasonous politicians.

They couldn’t get the population to accept such a radical change overnight, though. Boiling frogs requires a gradual long march. You could conclude that Arthur Penn’s Bonnie and Clyde was one of the early experiments by the cultural svengalis, to determine just how big a step in that direction American moviegoers would accept. The film attempted to transform some murdering thieves from the Depression Era into sympathetic characters. Long story short: it worked.

There was a slew of films glorifying criminals and other “antiheroes” in the wake of Bonnie and Clyde. (You could argue that the trend never really stopped.) Some of the copycat flicks, like George Roy Hill’s Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969) not only made the criminals sympathetic, but presented as almost non-human the people who attempted to serve justice. The Pinkerton agents tracking down the protagonists of that film are disposable, interchangeable empty suits, insignificant except for their employment by an “oppressive system” to harass the very human main characters portrayed by popular actors. They are nameless, faceless drones working for “the man.”

The movie critics, now foaming at the mouth because the Texas Rangers in The Highwaymen who stopped the glamorous bankrobbers are portrayed sympathetically, gush in masturbatory praise over the trailblazing, romantic, revisionist Bonnie and Clyde from 1967.

The makers of The Highwaymen are also fans of that Arthur Penn cinematic whitewash.

What has happened in the USA since 1967? To put it simply: the inmates took over the asylum. The communist agitators have been running our government for quite a while now, though they are considered “moderate” or “liberal” by the talking heads on Cux News because they have shoved the Overton Window so far left since taking power.

The “anti-establishment” radicals from the 1960s ARE the Establishment, now. Those who encouraged others to “question authority” now are IN authority. They have been for a while. Those who sought to destroy our institutions now CONTROL those institutions. Those who once complained about the messages in Hollywood movies now DESIGN Hollywood’s messages.

In a 180 degree turn from the Arthur Penn flick, Bonnie and Clyde were almost non-persons in The Highwaymen. Their treatment is shockingly reminiscent of the faceless Pinkertons in Butch Cassidy. Parker and Barrow’s brutality was emphasized, but nothing else was revealed about them (except a little backstory on Clyde’s history of thievery). We didn’t even get a good look at their faces until the end. To put it another way: they were just faceless murderers for nearly the entire film.

That about-face from the Vietnam-era counterculture antihero schtick might be confusing to some.

Know what else could be superficially confusing? The revisionist history on Clyde’s homosexuality. That was intentionally left out of the old movie, because society wasn’t yet conditioned to accept sodomy as normal or preferable. Even a lot of lefties at the time still considered it perverse.

But now homosexuality is ubiquitously promoted as normal and moral–and you better not speak against it or you’ll either lose your job, be fined out of business, or in some cases, jailed. Audiences wouldn’t bat an eye at seeing Clyde depicted that way today, so why wouldn’t the film-makers ram it down our throats as usual, to perpetuate their familiarity-conditioning? They insert it absolutely everywhere else, even when it’s not relevant or necessary, let alone historically accurate. What a curious artistic decision, my dear Watson.

It all makes sense if you look at the cultural landscape today and how different it is from the Vietnam era. Again: the counterculture then is the Establishment now, and vice-versa. Now the ruling class must be presented as noble and heroic, while the everyman proles must be depicted as suspicious, unwashed, and dangerous. Outsiders, dissenters, and anti-establishment rebels need to be feared, doxxed, ostracized, demonized, financially ruined, and, the very moment it is acceptable to popular opinion: riddled like Swiss cheese by armed government goons.

Like free speech and everything else, the fringe left’s position is opposite what it supposedly was before they secured ironclad institutional power.

As an adjunct of this, the film makers had to rewrite Clyde as heterosexual or they just couldn’t have brought themselves to show him for the murdering thief he was.

The Vietnam-era Bonnie and Clyde were stand-ins for the likes of Saul Alinsky and Jane Fonda, while the nameless, soul-less G-Men were stand-ins for Joe McCarthy and Barry Goldwater. The current-year law men (played by Kevin Costner and Woody Harrelson) are stand-ins for Eric Holder and John Brennan; while the faceless, soul-less bankrobbers are stand-ins for the likes of Donald Trump, Roger Stone and the average deplorable in Flyover Country.

The Highwaymen screenwriter John Fusco is another fan of Arthur Penn’s Bonnie and Clyde, and himself (in the interview linked above) implies a connection between Trump supporters and Bonnie and Clyde, confirming the reason for this paradigm shift.

Len Levinson Strikes Again!

I haven’t even had a chance to read the last release from the maestro of men’s adventure fiction…and he’s got another one out. Here’s the press release:

 GRIP OF DEATH, another all-new novel by Len Levinson has just been published by Rough Edges Press, it was announced today by Jennifer Lawrence, new president of the Len Levinson Fan Club, during a press conference beside the outdoor swimming pool in the sprawling backyard of her Malibu Beach estate.

Ms Lawrence recently replaced Scarlett Johansson as president of the Len Levinson Fan Club. Ms. Johansson was forced to resign due to term limits, much to her regret. “I don’t see Lenny nearly as much as I used to,” she complained bitterly during a recent interview on the Jimmy Fallon Show. “I miss him terribly, his wit, astute advice and stimulating presence.”

In attendance at the press conference were the usual eminent literary critics, distinguished journalists representing major and minor outlets, celebrity porn stars, and delegates from the National Book Awards and Nobel Prize for Literature.

Ms Lawrence explained charmingly to the esteemed gathering that GRIP OF DEATH is set in New York City during the first year of the Civil War. Someone is murdering prominent Wall Street financiers. Is the culprit one or more disgruntled investors? Insane Marxist revolutionaries? Or possibly a Confederate conspiracy to destabilize the Union banking system?

To complicate matters further, a crime wave engulfed New York City following the outbreak of the Civil War, as if that conflict loosened the darkest passions in the hearts of men and women. Robberies, burglaries and assaults were commonplace, including garrotings on Fifth Avenue in broad daylight!

The Detective Precinct is under political pressure to figure out who is killing financiers, but the best detectives have enlisted in New York regiments.

Out of desperation, Deputy Chief of Detectives Timothy Flanagan hires a former army officer wounded at the Battle of Bull Run (only three months ago), and a former Southern Belle stranded in the great Empire City. Flanagan calls her his secretary because women can’t be detectives, but she carries a revolver and does actual detective work.

The ex-officer is a staunch outspoken abolitionist, and the ex-Southern Belle hates abolitionists, blaming them for the invasion of Dixie Land. Naturally they loathe each other on their deepest levels, but must work together to solve the crime.

Their investigation takes them from Fifth Avenue mansions to the dangerous slum called Five Points, from Gramercy Park to Battery Park, from fashionable men’s clubs to elegant and not so elegant whorehouses, gambling dens, the glittering Broadway theater district, the colorful Bowery, and the Peyster Street docks where a man’s life isn’t worth a dead fish.

Along the way the reader will encounter actual historical figures such as banker J.P. Morgan, Lieutenant George Armstrong Custer, newspaperman Horace Greeley, Chief of the Union Intelligence Service Allan Pinkerton, Confederate Senator Robert Barnwell Rhett, real estate tycoon William Backhouse Astor, Archbishop John Hughes of the New York Archdiocese, young Billy the Kid, artist John Frederick Kensett, poet Walt Whitman, a not-very-succesful actor named John Wilkes Booth, members of a criminal gang known as the Dead Rabbits, and the controversial mayor of New York City, Fernando Wood.

Will the Detective Precinct solve the case? They dare not fail. The future of the war and fate of the nation is at stake!

“This is Len Levinson’s great American Civil War novel,” declared Ms. Lawrence. “One could say it is his GONE WITH THE WIND. It is suspenseful, reads smoothly and replete with interesting oddball characters like any other Len Levinson novel. I hope to play the Southern belle in the film version but so does Scarlett Johansson and every other actress in Hollywood.”

Ms. Lawrence pointed out that Len now is author of 85 published novels. He has been acclaimed a “Trash Genius” by THE PAPERBACK FANATIC magazine, was subject of an extensive interview in PAPERBACK PARADE magazine, has been described as “the gold standard” and “the king” of pulp fiction on various Facebook posts, and was introduced as “a legend” at a panel during the 2017 Windy City Pulp and Paper Convention.

WEB OF DOOM is now available as an ebook and trade paperback on Amazon.

Ali-Shavers (A Glimpse Into Boxing History)

To this day, the fanatic fan-boyism for Muhammed Ali is as myopic as ever. The Narrative on Ali is always him overcoming adversity and bigotry to beat the odds and show the world he was “The Greatest.”

While one has to admire his footwork, his lateral movement, his masterful head games, and his ability to absorb punishment to the body, you must use selective metrics to determine he was ‘the greatest”…or even the greatest heavyweight. What he conclusively proved is that, at least in his younger days, he could move faster backwards than his opponents could move forward.

Nobody before Gaseous Cassius had so brazenly flaunted such raw egotism. Humility was still a virtue before Cassius Clay’s ascendance. Now all athletes (and most people in general) are arrogant, trash-talking legends in their own minds. Clay/Ali was the trailblazer for grandiose, egomaniacal personalities in sports.

In this bout, Ali probably thought he could use the rope-a-dope strategy as he did in Zaire, and cause Shavers to punch himself out. There turned out to be two problems with that plan: the ropes weren’t nearly as loose as they were in Zaire; and Shavers had learned from that particular George Foreman blunder. Although Shavers had a small gas tank (like a lot of power punchers), he showed remarkable discipline in pacing himself, for the most part.

Arguably, Shavers was far too cautious. He ignored multiple opportunities after stunning Ali with hard shots, and had him hurt more than once, but failed to follow up effectively. Unbelievably, Ali even backed into the corner on several occasions. This would have been a suicidal tactic against a fine-tuned Mike Tyson, or The Rock at any time. (Marciano would pound on whatever part of an opponent’s body could be reached. If the best target he had was the arms, he would bang them until they couldn’t be lifted for protection any longer.) But Shavers only made token efforts at punching in these circumstances. Every such opportunity ended by Ali clinching, or Shavers simply backing away to let him off the hook.

A fight historian can probably count on one hand the number of times the elusive Ali was ever hit flush. Three of those times, he went down. Shavers never caught him flush, but even glancing blows from Shavers nearly took Ali’s head off. Starting  in the fifth round (and intermittent thereafter), Ali jumped on his “bicycle” to evade Shavers, offering an occasional feather-fisted counterattack.

As in too many fights throughout history, only a knockout could have overcome the favorite’s “home cooking” in this bout. As was typical in Ali’s reign, the referee allowed him to hold and hit for all 15 rounds, with only one warning. Because he could get away with it as usual, Ali clutched the back of Shavers’ head with one glove any time Shavers got inside. Shavers was the aggressor from bell to bell, landing the most effective punches consistently, unfazed by Ali’s occasional attempts at offense right up until an adrenaline-fueled flurry in the last seconds of the fight. No fair, impartial judge would have awarded the champion more than five rounds…but the judges were, like the referee, effectively part of Team Ali. All of them scored the fight an astonishing nine rounds to six in favor of the guy who got battered around the ring like Michael Avenatti’s girlfriend.

Shavers fought less than a perfect fight, to be sure. And maybe his excessive caution was partially warranted–he seemed to be out of gas by the end of Round 15 (possibly because, despite his caution, he still tended to load up and swing wild Western Union punches when he got excited). He was hardly the first to be exhausted from chasing the Louisville Lip around all night. Considering the officiating and scoring he was up against, his only path to victory was a knockout. He had Ali in deeper trouble, far more frequently, than Foreman ever did. It would have been fascinating to find out what might have happened, had Shavers not squandered so many opportunities.

Gods & Proxies–the Supernatural in Antiquity

An excerpt from the afterword in Gods & Proxies, discussing how belief in the existence of “other gods” is not necessarily pagan, anti-Christian, or unbiblical:

There’s a famous road paved with good intentions. One good intention of theologians in centuries past was to eliminate or explain away any passage in the Bible which could be construed as supporting polytheism.

The Bible clearly portrays Yahweh (El Elyon/El Shaddai/”The God of Many Names”/etc.) as the One True God; but it also documents that He judged the gods of Egypt (Exodus 12:12). In the Commandments we are warned not to put other gods before Him (Deuteronomy 5:7). The Adversary, called “the devil” and “Satan” in English, is referred to as “the god of this world” or “the god of this age” (2 Corinthians 4:4) depending on translation (or “prince,” which is also how the messenger* in Daniel 12:1 referred to the Archangel Michael).

Acknowledging that the ancient pagans were worshiping living entities, and not just the idols formed to represent them, is not polytheistic. It is simply biblical.

Those of us who learned the Bible from an English translation (or worse yet, from “preacher talk”) have inherited many assumptions about our Creator. For instance, we assume that “God” is His name.

One of the Commandments forbids us to misuse His name (Deuteronomy 5:11). Well, what exactly is His name? Most Gentiles have no idea, except for the cryptic statement given to Moses via the burning bush (Exodus 3:14). But where our English translations call him simply “THE LORD,” the original text used one of His names.** How many times have we seen references to His name in our English translations, without actually seeing His name in the text? Those translations also use the word “God” as if it is a name (hence we assume “God” is his name), but the word “el” that is translated “god” was a more generic term in Hebrew for a supernatural being that is not necessarily the Creator God. Many of us were taught that the word Elohim, which includes the word for “god” with a Hebrew plural suffix, is a reference to the Trinity–one God in three persons. But some Hebrew scholars insist it refers to a pantheon, the Divine Council, or Heavenly Assembly.*** (Not that they deny the Trinity, as there is textual evidence of that concept elsewhere in Scripture.)

*The word angel means “messenger,” but, in our lexicon, has come to refer exclusively to created celestial beings. Certainly the word often refers to those; but sometimes a human being can be an “angel,” and sometimes the Messiah Himself plays the role of a messenger, or “angel.”

**That is, the “Tetragrammaton.” This has been pronounced “Yaweh” or “Jehovah,” historically, though exact pronunciation is not certain because there were no vowels in the original Hebrew. It’s like an acronym formed from the Hebrew phrase the Creator used to answer Moses: “I am that I am.”

***Psalm 82:1 “God has taken his place in the Divine Council; in the midst of the gods he holds judgment.” Deuteronomy 32:8-9 “When the Most High gave the nations their inheritance, when he divided up humankind, he set the boundaries of the peoples, according to the number of the Heavenly Assembly.” Job 1:6 and 1 Kings 22 also give us a fleeting glimpse of this Heavenly Assembly.

Another phenomenon mentioned in Gods & Proxies is “spiritually charged objects.” This sounds like a pagan or Wiccan concept, but it’s also Biblical. In the New Testament, certain people were healed and/or delivered merely by physical contact with aprons and handkerchiefs touched by Paul (Acts 19:11-12).

If the Holy Spirit (working through Paul) could spiritually charge an inanimate object, then it’s entirely possible that evil spirits could supernaturally charge objects as well–such as the items in Jericho that the Israelites were forbidden to take as plunder (Joshua 6:17-18, 7:1).

Those who like to deny the supernatural also insist that witchcraft is nothing more than a myth perpetuated by tricksters and illusionists. But the author(s) of the Bible saw it much differently. God considers witchcraft a serious manifestation of evil, not to be dismissed as harmless Halloween stories.  The Bible also documents how Pharoah’s magicians, and the witch of Endor accessed some sort of actual power that no huckster could ever duplicate.

 

Paganism Vs. Reality

Or perhaps “Religion Vs. Truth” would be a better title for this scene:

Some priests, and others from the L’vim sat with the visitors all that day. The offer was made early that the visitors were welcome to come outside the outer court of the Temple and worship Hashem.

“Thank-you, but no,” the ambassador said, with a nervous laugh. “That won’t be necessary.”

“I beg your pardon?” a priest asked, brows knitting. “You traveled all this way to make peace with us because you’ve heard that nothing and no one can stand against our god…yet you don’t want to know him?”

The visitors all glanced around their own countrymen, but eventually their collective gaze focused on the ambassador. He wiped sweat from his forehead and said, “True. We don’t want him to destroy us, but we’d prefer to serve our own gods.”

“You mean your own gods who can’t protect you from him?” a priest suggested.

“Well, um…yes,” the ambassador said.

The priest pointed at the stone idol resting on a wooden pedestal at the center of the visitors’ encampment. “That is the god you prefer to serve?” he asked.

“It is a representation of our god,” the ambassador said, uncomfortably. “It is sacred, because it bears his likeness. He dwells within it sometimes. It can receive our worship in his stead, when he chooses not to show us his image directly.”

“Let me make sure I understand this,” a priest said. “You have an opportunity to know the ultimate god, who created the world; and the wood, the stone, the metals that your so-called “gods” are made out of. And he created man, who formed your ‘gods’ out of wood, stone, or metals. But you would rather worship lifeless objects?”

“We wouldn’t expect you to understand,” the ambassador said.

“I think we do understand,” an angry-faced priest said. “You want Hashem’s mercy; you want his blessings; but you don’t want to give him anything in return.”

“It’s not just a stone idol,” one of the ambassador’s men stated, hotly. “It has power it is foolish to disrespect.”

Now Pinchas rose to his feet. “Let me give you a practical demonstration of religion,” he said, strolling toward the idol.

The visitors watched him apprehensively, some twitching as if about to stand.

Pinchas poked the statue with his staff. It toppled off the pedestal and thumped on the ground.

The visitors gasped. Some of the escorts shot to their feet, hands on weapons.

“Why would you disrespect our god this way, Yacovite?” demanded one of the escorts.

Pinchas turned to face the guests, shrugging. “When he puts himself back up on this pedestal, I’ll apologize.”

Gods & Proxies has gone wide. You can get it for most e-readers, including the Kindle.

The 82nd Airborne on D-Day

D-Day related posts used to be a tradition for me on June 6th, back at the Two-Fisted Blog. I just found out, according to an online article dated in 2014, that Division was slated to be taken off Airborne status–so I’m assuming this has already happened.

Sometime between the end of the Vietnam experience and when I joined up, the 101st Division had been taken off Airborne status–though they retained the “Airborne” tab above the unit patch. Now it’s evidently happened to my alma mater, too. I don’t know if the Rangers will follow suit. I doubt if SF will.

HHC, 508th Parachute Infantry Regiment

Both divisions (the 82nd and 101st) dropped into Normandy (or came down in gliders) the night before the invasion of Hitler’s “Fortress Europe,” in a brief window of acceptable weather in 1944. Despite a massive gaggle in which almost no units were put out over their drop zones, the Airborne caught the Germans by surprise and secured crucial bridgeheads on the causeways leading out from the invasion beaches.

Paratroopers were bad dudes, but not quite the gang of murderers and rapists that Nazi propaganda chalked them up to be. By the time I came along, the standards in Jump School were plummeting to accommodate the inclusion of women, but there were still plenty of bad dudes in Division.

More 508 PIR troopers show off their German souveniers.

There’s been a long, gradual subversion of the Armed Forces. Patriots and bad dudes have been (probably still are being) purged from the ranks. In an Army that pays for sex change operations, where soldiers are made to wear high heels, but everyone is given a black beret, there’s frankly not much room left for bad dudes (who aren’t gender-confused, anyway). And, generals have been ragging on airborne insertion for decades–claiming it’s an obsolete and daaaaaaa-aaaangerous method to deliver troops to the battlefield.

Maybe the generals are right. Maybe the 82nd can be just as effective as another “Air-Assault” light infantry division, which is ferried-to-firefight by helicopter.

All Americans Through the Wars.

Then again, the folks in charge have reimagined the military as a huge, publicly funded, gender-confused social experiment. It’s primary purpose is not to fight wars, anymore. When it fights them anyway, it’s not in the service of American interests. In such an organization, bad dudes are obsolete–probably even embarrassing.

I haven’t maintained any connection to Division. Never went to any of the reunions, even though I was coerced to join the Association when I served there. Last time I drove through North Carolina, my route took me close to Bragg, but I didn’t even bother to detour there to see what the new barracks look like.

But this kinda’ bums me out, anyway. Enjoy the photos.

Revised History: Hitler and Fascists

Since before Donald Trump took office, we’ve been repeatedly informed that he is “literally Hitler” and that his supporters are fascists at best, Nazis at worst.

This is a little confusing, because I’d been previously informed by a high school biology teacher that Ronald Reagan was literally Hitler. That’s three separate individuals who are all the same person: Trump, Reagan, and presumably Hitler himself.

Of course it all makes sense if you watch enough Star Trek. Obviously some malevolent entity that first possessed Jack the Ripper later possessed these three evil historic villains.

“And anybody who disagrees with us is a fascist!”

Um, did I say “evil”? Of course all woke people know there’s actually no such thing as good or evil. The only people who believe in such outdated, puritan concepts as evil are evil religious-right demagogues. So Hitler wasn’t truly eeee-veel, he was just insane. If only his school teachers had identified his mental illness and pumped him full of psychotropic drugs, that would have fixed everything.

“But wait,” say the millennials and Generation Z, “who is Hitler? Wasn’t he supposed to be this, like, really mean guy or something?”

Well, even though it’s like, totally lame to think, talk, or read about anything that happened more than six months ago, we maybe should randomly empower you with some woke info on this paranormal force of evil meanness that just so happened to control some ancient, like, European dude with a funny mustache.

We should start with Socialism…this totally amazing system where:

  1. Everybody is disarmed except the police and armed forces.
  2. Genocide can be efficiently implemented when necessary.
  3. Children must attend state-controlled schools and be programmed to believe The Narrative without question.
  4. A progressive, graduated income tax keeps the non-ruling class equally miserable.
  5.  Careless speech (or even suspected thoughts) will result in dissenters vanishing, never to be seen again.
  6.  The state owns and controls all business and industry.

But along came this dude named Mussolini who instituted a system that was TOTALLY, 100% OPPOSITE!!!!!!!!! (And therefore wrong.) Just look at how utterly distinct Fascism is from Socialism in every way:

  1. Everybody is disarmed except the police and armed forces.
  2. Genocide can be efficiently implemented when necessary.
  3. Children must attend state-controlled schools and be programmed to believe The Narrative without question.
  4. A progressive, graduated income tax keeps the non-ruling class equally miserable.
  5.  Careless speech (or even suspected thoughts) will result in dissenters vanishing, never to be seen again.
  6.  The state controls all business and industry, although symbolic private ownership is still tolerated.

Now, can you see how socialism is a moral, Utopian ideal which leads to paradise, while fascism is just so…um…like, unwoke?

And now you can see how “Antifa” is legit and TOTALLY UNLIKE the blackshirted mobs in 1920s Italy that threatened and attacked anyone who disagreed with their politics.

Alright, so let’s talk about this Hitler guy.

He was like a deplorable combination of Ron Paul and Ted Cruz. If he was here, he’d so be a member of the NRA, the Tea Party and Gamergate. He would do really mean, backwards things like broker peace between North and South Korea, recognize Jerusalem as the capital of Israel (and move his country’s embassy there), and deregulate industry (because, y’know, he just hated micromanaging and being in control).

Oh yeah–he would do undignified, unpresidential things like tweet on Twitter, too. (FDR on the other hand, being dignified and presidential, would continue to hold his Fireside Chats on the radio in 2018.)

And that’s the approved, official, credible, trustworthy, fact-checked history. Anything else is fake history according to Facebook, Google, and the Southern Poverty Law Center.

(Until further notice.)

The All-New Revised History Series

Along with Barack Hussein Obama, William Jefferson Blythe Clinton and innumerable other altruists, Virtual Pulp has been deeply inspired by the blatantly orchestrated sincere, heartfelt speeches given by David Hogg and other tools wise, experienced and courageous youth insisting our rights be stripped from us. One has to marvel at the caliber of education that has led them to such a level of understanding.

Wouldn’t it be, like, really dope if everyone, y’know, was able to learn the real important stuff, like they have, so we could all, like, make such an impact? So starting with this post, Virtual Pulp will be publishing the fake history woke history that has made Camera Hogg & Company such model spokespeople for their generation.

9/11 and the War on Terror

Once upon a time, there was an area called the Middle East. Diverse peoples in the Middle East followed a Religion of Peace, which is no different from Christianity (except that Christianity is silly, racist, sexist and oppressive, whereas Islam is merely misunderstood). There were no problems whatsoever in that region before Israelis and Americans came on the scene. Republican administrations from the US made these peace-loving, tolerant people defensive and suspicious of infidels ruthless, exploitative colonialists.

Meanwhile, in that oppressive despotic dystopia of the USA, a secret team of Bible-thumping home-schooled NRA members hijacked several passenger jets and crashed them into buildings in New York City because…um, they hate women…or black people…or something.

The buildings collapsed perfectly into their own footprints just like a controlled demolition, because that’s what tall buildings always do, with absolutely no planning or preparation. These right-wingers hated with such a hot heat that World Trade Center #7 (which was never touched by an airplane or had its superstructure exposed to burning jet fuel) also collapsed perfectly into its own footprint.

Or maybe it was global warming that caused the steel girders to melt. Anyway: home-grown right-wing terrorists are a far worse threat than Islamic workplace-violence-committers. So there! That’s why we need millions more Muslim immigrants inside the country (taxpayer-funded, of course), but need to abolish the Bill of Rights for law-abiding American citizens.

The coward George Dubya Bush hid in an elementary school, using the bodies of school children to protect him from the blast of the jet crashes. Then he returned to the White House and signed The Patriot Act, which was an immoral, tyrranical act of oppression right up until Barack Hussein Obama bullied persuaded Congress to renew it. As soon as Saint Hussein vouched for it, of course, the Patriot Act was instantly transformed into a reasonable, common-sense protection that is totally not a despotic police state measure to further strangle the Bill of Rights. Saint Hussein further advanced the cause of liberty by giving us Indefinite Detention–so that Americans can be imprisoned for life without a trial or even charges.

It goes without saying that President Trump would be LITERALLY HITLER if he was to use any of these usurpations laws signed by Democrats. (Well, he’s already literally Hitler, of course. But he’d be, y’know, even worse than Hitler if he was to do what his predecessors  did.) Worse than literally Hitler, like…Joe McCarthy…or somebody. (More about that deplorable monster in a future installment.)

Since 9/11, there have been multiple incidents when some distraught motorists, disgruntled nightclub patrons and other oppressed victims have accidently engaged in behavior that inadvertently caused harm to others, while shouting, “Allah akbar!” Deplorable racist xenophobes have alleged that this phrase somehow indicates Islamic ideology. But our experts have discovered that this assumption is just redneck ignorance at work.

It turns out that “Allah akbar” is really from a secret code language spoken by Bible-thumping home-schooled NRA members, and, literally translated, means: “MAGA!” (Make America Great Again.) These home-grown domestic terrorists love to speak in code, as you well know. Our experts have decoded phrases like “American citizen” to actually mean, “Aryan ubermensch.” Similarly, “Second Amendment” actually means “Death to school children!” And “voter ID laws” means “We hate minorities!”

So those incidents were really carried out by Tea Party operatives–the most dangerous terror threat in the universe! Therefore any such atrocity should be classified as terrorism and be followed immediately by crackdowns on individual rights insensitive civic behavior.

The end.

The Exception – a Review

Coincident with the German blitzkrieg into France, Heinrich Himmler assigns a special detail to “protect” Wilhelm Hohenzollern, the former Kaiser of the Second Reich, who is exiled in Holland.

The assignment is passed down to young Captain Brandt, a veteran of the Poland Campaign who was wounded winning the Iron Cross, but also got on the wrong side of the SS after witnessing an atrocity. Still recovering from shrapnel wounds to his stomach, he nonetheless doesn’t want this cushy rear-echelon job. But orders are orders, so off he goes.

Brandt is quickly caught in a tug of war between the Kaiser’s military attache; the Gestapo; Wermacht Intelligence (trying to track down a British spy in the area), and a young, nubile war widow who is down for cheap, meaningless sex.

It’s a pleasant surprise how good this movie is. While it certainly has its faults, it’s not always easy to guess what will happen next.

Marco Polo – a Review

Even the most fanatic revisionist white knights couldn’t ruin a story set in the Mongol Empire during the conquest of south China, right?

Ahem.

I wish I could say I’m surprised by what they’ve done with the subject matter.

First off is the main character, Marco Polo. His motivations are sketchy at best, beyond some vague desire for a father figure. In the first season he’s habitually stupid…but not as stupid as the series writers assume their audience is.

The sad fact is, that assumption may prove correct.

There’s all the formulaic theater, white-knight feminist tropes, and contrived plot devices you can find in any other TV show, and the Trojan beach head of perversity we can expect from a Weinstein Company-backed tale of palace intrigue.

(But to be honest, it’s doubtful Harvey Weinstein is any worse than the other producers in Hollywood. In fact, he’s probably mild compared to some of them.)

But the sterling character of the morally pure saints headquartered in Homowood, Commiefornia never rests until it has delivered a hypocritical moral message. And so their favorite perversion (pedophilia) is represented not accurately (like, say, in the character of an entertainer or leftist politician), but in the form of a Christian Mongol.

Nothing special here.