This is a matchup I wanted to see back since about when T2: Judgment Day was released. Granted, I envisioned no-holds-barred cybernetic street combat…but, heck, I’ll take a rap battle.
Most of these rap battles are needlessly profane and sexualized to the point you’d suspect they’re trying to get an R rating for some reason…but a few are hilarious. This one definitely has some moments.
I haven’t read the first Apalling Stories, but do intend to rectify that.
This is an anthology of short speculative fiction, all linked thematically by the insanity of political correctness and so-called “social justice.” Some of them are set off-world, some take place in Earth’s future, while others are pretty close to the space-time you and I occupy.
An argument could be made that some of the stories are depressing–like classic episodes of The Twilight Zone. At the same time, there’s no denying a significant element of gratification derives from following the character arc of the SJWs who outsmart themselves, feed on each other, and otherwise are hoisted on their own petards. It’s immensely frustrating to exist in this reality wherein the wicked prosper…where there seems to be no limit to their stupidity, depravity, or hypocrisy…yet never suffer the consequences of same. And the “champions” of our side either cower in the face of evil, or betray us outright.
Each story is well-written, by authors including the newest addition to the Virtual Pulp blog lineup, Paul Hair.
One age-old purpose of fiction is to present alternatives or possibilities–how it could be in a better world. Apalling Stories 2 shows us (often with delightful irony) what it might look like if “social justice” vermin experienced actual justice.
Leftists, and especially SJWs, are just begging to be mocked and ridiculed–the individuals themselves, of course, but even more so their absurd reasoning and their efforts to twist reality into a shape they are comfortable with, and that justifies their hypocrisy and tragicomic behavior. This book does just that.
A huge part of the American decline is the ignorance of roughly half of the population who (knowingly and unknowingly) enable those who are fundamentally transforming our constitutional 
The Narrative is a literary roller coaster, of sorts. The author tears a new bunghole in the Swamp Media with passages so zany that only an SJW could fail to recognize how ridiculous it is. But these are almost like a series of vignettes in an otherwise straightforward narrative (ahem) about a young woman with ambition to become a prime time media celebrity.
Despite the name, Deplora Boule has got the gift of optimism, so when all is said and done, that optimistic outlook overshadows the comedy. Lord knows we can use all the optimism we can get these days.
Arkhaven Comics’ Alt★Hero #1: Crackdown is out. Being a backer, I received an electronic copy before it went live on Amazon.
The haters have generated a few different narratives about Arkhaven. One narrative was intended to convince us that the (record-breaking) crowdfunding revenue to launch Arkhaven had been imbezzled by Vox Day, because it’s all a big scam, and no comic would ever be produced. A more popular knee-jerk proclamation is that the comic is garbage (as judged by people who haven’t read or even seen it.)
As somebody who is disgusted by what’s happened to DC and Marvel, and what they’ve done to the characters they inherited, I’ve been enthusiastic about Alt★Hero since first hearing of it. I make a point to support any artistic endeavor which defies the Thought Police sent from the Leftist Hive Mind. Sometimes I’m burned, as I was with Amerigeddon. Sometimes I’m rewarded, as with Alt Hero.
Arkhaven has some tightening up to do–particularly with the artwork and composition/layout. And I believe it will be tightened up. But even as-is, this series looks like a lot of fun.
In this first story a European supergroup (sponsored by the EU) recruits a new member (given the name Dynamique) to help them purge thought criminals from around the continent. This is basically what Twitter, Youtube, and Facebook have been doing to people…but with progressive extrapolation: enemies of the state aren’t just censored; they’re arrested and imprisoned. And it’s super-powered international thought cops in tights who round them up.
It’s actually a lot like Hank’s story The Greater Good, but without the over-the-top humor. And it’s illustrated.
Alt Hero is a comic I wouldn’t mind letting my son read. Also, Chuck Dixon is writing a series for Arkhaven called Avalon, which I am probably also going to check out. Dixon’s portfolio speaks for itself. I’m pleased he was able to find paying work outside the SJW insanity that is status quo in the comics industry. Based on everything I know so far, I believe any investment in Arkhaven titles will be money well-spent.
Since before Donald Trump took office, we’ve been repeatedly informed that he is “literally Hitler” and that his supporters are fascists at best, Nazis at worst.
This is a little confusing, because I’d been previously informed by a high school biology teacher that Ronald Reagan was literally Hitler. That’s three separate individuals who are all the same person: Trump, Reagan, and presumably Hitler himself.
Of course it all makes sense if you watch enough Star Trek. Obviously some malevolent entity that first possessed Jack the Ripper later possessed these three evil historic villains.
Um, did I say “evil”? Of course all woke people know there’s actually no such thing as good or evil. The only people who believe in such outdated, puritan concepts as evil are evil religious-right demagogues. So Hitler wasn’t truly eeee-veel, he was just insane. If only his school teachers had identified his mental illness and pumped him full of psychotropic drugs, that would have fixed everything.
“But wait,” say the millennials and Generation Z, “who is Hitler? Wasn’t he supposed to be this, like, really mean guy or something?”
Well, even though it’s like, totally lame to think, talk, or read about anything that happened more than six months ago, we maybe should randomly empower you with some woke info on this paranormal force of evil meanness that just so happened to control some ancient, like, European dude with a funny mustache.
We should start with Socialism…this totally amazing system where:
But along came this dude named Mussolini who instituted a system that was TOTALLY, 100% OPPOSITE!!!!!!!!! (And therefore wrong.) Just look at how utterly distinct Fascism is from Socialism in every way:
Now, can you see how socialism is a moral, Utopian ideal which leads to paradise, while fascism is just so…um…like, unwoke?
And now you can see how “Antifa” is legit and TOTALLY UNLIKE the blackshirted mobs in 1920s Italy that threatened and attacked anyone who disagreed with their politics.
Alright, so let’s talk about this Hitler guy.
He was like a deplorable combination of Ron Paul and Ted Cruz. If he was here, he’d so be a member of the NRA, the Tea Party and Gamergate. He would do really mean, backwards things like broker peace between North and South Korea, recognize Jerusalem as the capital of Israel (and move his country’s embassy there), and deregulate industry (because, y’know, he just hated micromanaging and being in control).
Oh yeah–he would do undignified, unpresidential things like tweet on Twitter, too. (FDR on the other hand, being dignified and presidential, would continue to hold his Fireside Chats on the radio in 2018.)
And that’s the approved, official, credible, trustworthy, fact-checked history. Anything else is fake history according to Facebook, Google, and the Southern Poverty Law Center.
(Until further notice.)
At great sacrifice, this transcript of a backroom creative meeting was obtained.
In a smoke-free zone in the bowels of Homowood, Commiefornia, a diverse gathering of creative consultants discusses a potential TV show.
MS BUTCHCUT: So, this series would have a lot going for it. We could provide a glimpse into the Dark Ages (the 1950s), and expose how backwards everything was. Yet at the same time, rock & roll symbolizes this enormous, unstoppable spirit of rebellion–against the borgeois; against materialism; the patriarchy…and it was rising up to challenge societal norms. Of course, it’s an opportunity to tell the story in a different way–highlighting the strong women behind the scenes who never got credit, until now. And we know white people will watch it, because it’s got Elvis.
PUFF TRIGGLY: Did you get my ideas for the series treatment? I printed them and put them on your desk, so…
MS BUTCHCUT: I did get them, and you’re right: vanilla white men have been getting the credit for everything far too long. But I don’t think this is quite the show to highlight the societal contributions of transgender necrophiliacs. We’ve got at least one Strong Female Character in the treatment, who we’ll gradually reveal as the one who really held Sun Records together and made it work. But we’ve got to be subtle about it, because the rubes have been complaining about Strong Female Characters lately.
DUNNING: Who told them TV is not reality? Ah d-d-d-d-d-they must have hired somebody to screen our shows. Somebody who can see past the beer in their lap. (Laughs.)
KRUGER: Strictly speaking, it’s sort of not likely that they could have noticed what we were doing on their own. For sort of 50 years, they sort of never caught on before now. Most likely, this is, strictly speaking, part of the fake news epidemic that sort of mobilized the Flyover Puritans to start criticizing our effort to be inclusive.
DUNNING: Ah why d-d-d-don’t we just solve it like we usually do: have the actress playing the secretary show some skin? I mean, she should have big boobs; nice legs–that’s a given. Presto! No complaints about her being the brains of the operation.
PUFF TRIGGLY: Sexist! How dare you!
MS BUTCHCUT: Really, people. It’s the current year. That’s just offensive on so many levels. But certainly: we’ll make her sexual. We’ll show Sam Phillips cheating on his wife with her…
NECKBEARD: But, like, later we’ll have her experiment with lesbianism, right? It’ll be perfect!
MS BUTCHCUT: No. Again, we have to be careful. So ix-nay, at least for the first season.
PUFF TRIGGLY: But that’s not inclusive. That’s not inclusive at all. So…
KRUGER: Exactly. That’s why, strictly speaking, I still say we should sort of have Elvis be gay.
DUNNING: I d-d-d-d-don’t know if we can pull that off.
MS BUTCHCUT: Elvis is a sacred cow. I’m afraid we’re stuck with a white male heterosexual character who’s not a bufoon, a rapist, a murderer, wife-beater, terrorist or criminal. Two such characters, actually–we can’t reinvent Johnny Cash, either. They’re both still too popular in Flyover Country for us to stray too far from that rigid-minded mythos. But at least we can make their fathers reprehensible. Of course their mothers will be wise, moral, and intuitive.
KRUGER: Please tell me we’re not canning my work on Jerry Lee Lewis. I mean, with all their sexual hangups, the rubes couldn’t possibly put him up there on the same sort of pedestal as Presley and Cash.
NECKBEARD: And come on. His cousin was, like, Jimmy Swaggart.
KRUGER: Strictly speaking, Swaggart is sort of the ultimate Religious Right icon. We have a moral imperitive to sort of highlight his hypocrisy. You know how outraged the rubes get over “hypocrisy.” It’s just sort of hanging right there in front of us, sort of begging for us to play that angle to the hilt.
MS BUTCHCUT: Of course Swaggart is fair game. We can never skewer him enough. But we’re going to build that case gradually. At first we’ll concentrate on Lewis’s reprehensible rape culture.
NECKBEARD: Excuse me. Sorry. I’d like to get back to our Strong Female Character. I’ve been, like, developing this scene in my mind: Her and Phillips are in the studio, and she’s fixing something he screwed up. Then this crazed gunman bursts through the door to rob the place. White male heterosexual, of course. In fact, he should make it clear he targeted them because they “play that nigger music.” But the secretary, like, performs this roundhouse kick that knocks the gun out of his hand, and then, like, proceeds to beat the living shit out of him, while Phillips cowers, hiding somewhere.
DUNNING: Ah d-d-d-d-that’s a great scene, but it belongs in, more like, an action-oriented show.
KRUGER: Strictly speaking, shouldn’t we get back to solving the sort of lack of inclusivity?
PUFF TRIGGLY: Exactly. At the very least, one of the characters should at least be gay. So…
MS BUTCHCUT: While I know where you’re coming from, it’s just not that easy. We can’t make Presley or Cash gay. Lewis is too unsympathetic a character, so it can’t be him. Same with Swaggart. Colonel Tom Parker is despicable, so he’s out. You know how the bozos in Flyover Country are fanatic about a rigid view of history where a given narrative should conform to known facts and all that reptillian-brain framing.
NECKBEARD: Maybe, like, we could bring in Little Richard for a few episodes. Show how he was victimized for his lifestyle.
KRUGER: But, sort of more importantly, show him in at least one love scene.
DUNNING: I d-d-d-d-don’t think Little Richard ever recorded for Sun Records.
MS BUTCHCUT: He didn’t. And again, all that historical accuracy crap is an obsession for the target audience. We won’t be able to slip that into the first season.
KRUGER: So…what you’re sort of saying is…all we can do in the first season is inject one Strong Female Character; show how nuclear families was oppression of superior women by inferior men; show some vanilla adultery by Phillips; some vanilla fornication by Lewis; a little bit of racism here and there; and strictly speaking, that’s sort of it?
MS BUTCHCUT: Well, I’m afraid so, yes. I mean, aside from, you know, a bunch of dramatized biographical plot points for the rubes.
PUFF TRIGGLY: But…but…but…sympathetic gay characters!
Pray tell what fraud?
The Muslim fraud.
Ding, dong, the Muslim fraud is gone!
He’ll take Jimmy Carter’s role
More apology tours on the public dole
But let’s make our country great again,
And bring those jobs back!
Now he can’t worry ya.
Send the candidate back to Manchuria.
Worship Allah and Karl Marx
You fart-blocking weasel!
Ding, dong, and adios!
He’s coming out? Well that’s just gross.
Ding, dong, the queer impostor’s gone…
Yes–that’s right: Elite hackers from the Kremlin prevented us from posting anything at Virtual Pulp for the month of December! 13 different intelligence organizations have determined that Putin’s Cyber Warfare Department rigged the blogosphere in a misogynist conspiracy to prevent the first female president from taking power. The exact connection between Virtual Pulp and the election can’t be divulged at this time for national security reasons.
In other news: another domestic terrorist attack! A suspect who goes by the name Muamar Fuqfridum opened fire on bystanders (we avoid the term “innocent” because there may be a possibility some of them voted Republican) with a semi-automatic muzzle-loading artillery machinegun, before detonating a bomb that killed 50 innocent victims (we know they were innocent because they were all registered Democrats inside an LGBQT-friendly nightclub, before they attended a private party at Comet Ping-Pong). The suspect was seen waving a Koran in his free hand screaming “Allahu akbar!” during his rampage. Experts are not entirely sure what his motives were, but are investigating a possible connection between the suspect, Mike Cernovich, and Donald Trump.
Meanwhile, a group of high-IQ Black Lives Matter activists beat a young white male, kidnapped and tortured him while recording video of the incident and later posting to Faceborg Live. While torturing the young man, they repeatedly shouted “F*** Donald Trump!” and “Death to Whitey!” Experts are not entirely sure what motivated the kidnappers, but the NAACP is looking into the possibility that the young man might have oppressed the kidnappers by flaunting his White Privilege, and triggered them with microagressions while violating their safe space.
Five seconds ago, an innocent black youth was gunned down by a rogue white cop while charging him with a machete…while on his knees, hands raised in surrender, with his back to the officer while shouting “Please don’t shoot!” Experts have concluded that this is a racist hate crime resulting from centuries of racism in racist America perpetrated by hateful free market racist entreprenuers clinging to racist Christianity and the racist gun culture. 13 separate intelligence organizations have discovered a vast, right-wing conspiracy of conspiracy theorists, climate change deniers and free speech advocates who have infiltrated the police and weaponized them against the black community. Links have been established between the racist cops and the racist NRA, as well as racist Tea Party members and racist veterans with PTSD. Racist, racist, racist. Did we fail to mention racism as the motivation? And furthermore: rape culture; toxic masculinity; homophobia; Islamaphobia; Russian hackers; intolerance; culture of hate; home schoolers; Iran-Contra; Watergate; one-percenters; global warming; sexism; the pay gap; fake news. And racism. The science is settled.
…So claims the latest review of The Greater Good, my “satire-tastic” lampoon of SJWs, superhero/action-adventure tropes, and The Narrative in general.
“However,” she warns, “it’s heavily packed with sarcasm.”
I have no idea where she got that notion. In fact, I take umbrage that she would even imply I’m capable of such vulgar behavior at my hallowed keyboard.
Fellow author Kia Heavey says, “The pages are packed with witty, pointed mockery of today’s Progressives that actually made me laugh out loud. Spot-on and silly at the same time, The Greater Good is written in a heroic, propagandist tone to match the artwork on the cover.”
This masterpiece now has a whopping FIVE REVIEWS!!! Another 195, plus a couple billion sales or so, and surely this literary diamond will be propelled up through the rough to a page where Amazon shoppers might actually discover that it exists. From there, of course my meteoric rise as an author follows a predictable trajectory: bestseller lists; the lecture circuit; world domination.
If you act RIGHT NOW, you can be the first one on your block to get your very own copy for less than the cost of…well, pretty much anything. Even the cost of a bottle of friggin’ water fer cryin’ out loud. (Unless you buy water in bulk from Costco, Big Lots or Sam’s Club, I suppose, if you insist on splitting hairs.) Time is running out, and these e-books are going fast! I can’t guarantee there will be any left unless you ACT NOW! (It’s obvious ebooks are in very limited supply–just look at the prices charged by the Big Five publishers!)
