Satire

Russian Hackers!

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Yes–that’s right: Elite hackers from the Kremlin prevented us from posting anything at Virtual Pulp for the month of December! 13 different intelligence organizations have determined that Putin’s Cyber Warfare Department rigged the blogosphere in a misogynist conspiracy to prevent the first female president from taking power. The exact connection between Virtual Pulp and the election can’t be divulged at this time for national security reasons.

In other news: another domestic terrorist attack! A suspect who goes by the name Muamar Fuqfridum opened fire on bystanders (we avoid the term “innocent” because there may be a possibility some of them voted Republican) with a semi-automatic muzzle-loading artillery machinegun, before detonating a bomb that killed 50 innocent victims (we know they were innocent because they were all registered Democrats inside an LGBQT-friendly nightclub, before they attended a private party at Comet Ping-Pong). The suspect was seen waving a Koran in his free hand screaming “Allahu akbar!” during his rampage. Experts are not entirely sure what his motives were, but are investigating a possible connection between the suspect, Mike Cernovich, and Donald Trump.

Meanwhile, a group of high-IQ Black Lives Matter activists beat a young white male, kidnapped and tortured him while recording video of the incident and later posting to Faceborg Live. While torturing the young man, they repeatedly shouted “F*** Donald Trump!” and “Death to Whitey!” Experts are not entirely sure what motivated the kidnappers, but the NAACP is looking into the possibility that the young man might have oppressed the kidnappers by flaunting his White Privilege, and triggered them with microagressions while violating their safe space.

Five seconds ago, an innocent black youth was gunned down by a rogue white cop while charging him with a machete…while on his knees, hands raised in surrender, with his back to the officer while shouting “Please don’t shoot!” Experts have concluded that this is a racist hate crime resulting from centuries of racism in racist America perpetrated by hateful free market racist entreprenuers clinging to racist Christianity and the racist gun culture. 13 separate intelligence organizations have discovered a vast, right-wing conspiracy of conspiracy theorists, climate change deniers and free speech advocates who have infiltrated the police and weaponized them against the black community. Links have been established between the racist cops and the racist NRA, as well as racist Tea Party members and racist veterans with PTSD. Racist, racist, racist. Did we fail to mention racism as the motivation? And furthermore: rape culture; toxic masculinity; homophobia; Islamaphobia; Russian hackers; intolerance; culture of hate; home schoolers; Iran-Contra; Watergate; one-percenters; global warming; sexism; the pay gap; fake news. And racism. The science is settled.

Action, Adventure, Historical, Reviews

The Magnificent Seven 3.1

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The grandfather of this latest Magnificent Seven movie was Akira Kurosawa’s classic The Seven Samurai.

Set toward the end of the feudal period in Japan, the plot blossoms out of a small village ravaged by “brigands.” The villagers’ livelihoods are being progressively wiped out by succeeding raids, and their very existence will soon be threatened. A wise villager proposes a plan to pool what remaining resources they have, and use it to hire samurai to protect the village. Seven alienatied warriors, for various reasons, answer the call. What follows is, in effect, a suicide mission, in which the samurai face overwhelming odds with inferior weapons and equipment (the brigands have horses, armor, and even firearms while the samurai have nothing but their swords and the clothes on their back).

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In 1960 the story was transposed into the Old West, in a film directed by John Sturges, starring Yul Brynner, Steve McQueen, Charles Bronson, James Coburn, Robert Vaughn and Eli Wallach. The samurai are replaced by gunfighters, of course. The remake is not without its flaws, but certainly has some memorable lines.

In 2016 the latest update hit the screen. I was not even aware of it, due to how hectic personal life has been lately…until a few days ago.

Some character types have survived the evolution of the story, and the core of the plot remains the same. But the SJWs in Hollywood just could not help but conform it to The Narrative.

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The Japanese original suffered no obligation to ethnic diversity; but the new Seven is composed of mostly minorities (one each: black; Asian; Mexican; native American), and none of the white ones survive. (OMG! Is this a metaphor of WHITE GENOCIDE?!?!?!?!?) Denzel Washington is a great actor, who has been believable in every role I’ve seen him play. Furthermore, there were some black cowboys and soldiers on the frontier. But the Chisolm character is the de facto leader of the Seven and nobody (even among the bad guys) so much as mutters under their breath about it. Granted, 19th Century America was not the racist holocaust SJWs tell us it was (when they’re not trying to convince us that the USA was founded as the secular welfare state it is now, where illegal aliens are treated better than our veterans/citizens; it’s “legal” and even mandatory in some cases to discriminate against straight white males; and the only people with inalienable rights are sexual deviants). But there certainly were bigots who weren’t afraid to speak and act on their prejudices.

As if the suspension of disbelief weren’t strained enough, the film makers just had to insert a Brave Womyn Warrior into the message film. She is the de facto leader of the townsfolk during the war against the cutthroat army (led by an Evil White Male, of course).

Yeah, okay…

Despite all the social engineering, Magnificent Seven 2016 is an entertaining 133 minutes. There are plenty of dramatic scenes and fun action sequences to keep your attention. Technically the acting and direction is Grade A.

If you have the time and inclination for a movie marathon, you could do worse than watching this one back-to-back with the 1960 film and the original (and best, IMHO) Seven Samurai.

Historical, Reviews

Boomtown by Gilbert Morris – A Review

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I originally read this as a mass-market paperback titled Vigilante. I was just beginning to appreciate westerns at the time. I’m so glad to have found this. I subsequently bought and read the entire Reno series. Most were pretty good but I’m confident this is Morris’ pinnacle in fiction.

Jim Reno is a Confederate veteran, a reformed alcoholic and some-time “gunslick.” He’s also, like so many of us, spiritually lost…unsure how to fill the God-shaped hole in his soul. This is Christian fiction, but not preachy (or wimpy). There is one sermon in the yarn, which lasts for a paragraph of roughly three sentences. Christian characters surround Reno but, while it is no secret what the author believes, he doesn’t sermonize. At his core, Jim Reno is a “good person” who has fallen short of exemplary behavior in his life, and who wants to get right with God, but spends a good portion of this series alternating between running from his Creator and surrendering to Him. Something I can relate to. I haven’t read tons of Christian fiction, but I’ve read enough to be sick of the formulaic conversion of the main character at the end…reciting the sinner’s confession, standing ovation, blah blah blah.

One “bad person” does get saved in this novel, but Morris pulls it off deftly. I was so engrossed in the story I didn’t see it coming.

Morris likes to pepper his tales with romance, too. I do fault him for the way he shuffles love interests in and out of Reno’s life. Between the first and second books in the series, for instance, his happily-ever-after soulmate disappears with no explanation whatsoever, never to be mentioned again. In this one, the love interest Morris spent the entire previous novel priming for Reno is unceremoniously kicked to the curb in lieu of a brand new one.

The plot should be familiar to those who’ve read in the genre, or even watched western movies. A frontier town is at the mercy of lawless, greedy cattle barons and their hired guns. Decent folk band together in an attempt to protect themselves and the innocent, and turn to Jim Reno who has that rare (in reality) combination of a heart of gold and talent for violence. Reno, of course, doesn’t want to get involved, for all the I’m-trying-to-escape-my-violent-past reasons.

Whatever faults I could list here (and believe me: I could nit-pick ANYTHING if I put my mind to it), Boomtown is a great read. It is hard to put down. The bad guys will curl your lip, you will grieve for the victims, cheer for the good guys, and close the back cover with a satisfaction only the great books can give you.

(From the Two-Fisted Blog Archives)

Non-Fiction/Documentary, TEOTWAWKI

Dialog at Twilight’s Last Gleaming #2

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This conversation took place during the New York demonstrations against the results of the election.

 

SILVER SPOON BLACK WOMAN: This country was built on the oppression of dark people!

WORKING CLASS WHITE MAN: First of all, slavery was brought over here before there was a United States of America. Second, we fought a war to end slavery. We fought and killed our brothers and cousins to free the slaves, because we’re “so racist.” Slavery lasted about 80 years here. Care to compare that to another country? Take your pick: Africa, Asia, Europe, Central or South America…pick your continent.

SSBW: Slavery wasn’t as brutal  in other countries. It was more like just being servants. It’s America that made it such a dehumanizing thing.

WCWM: (Scoffs) You’ve been watching too much TV. African slaves in Latin America were treated much worse than in the USA.

SSBW: That’s just what you say. You don’t know that.

WCWM: I study history because I want to know the truth. You should try it. The information’s out there. You read a few memes on Facebook and assume you know everything there is to know.

SSBW: And so what if you ended slavery? That’s nothing to pat yourself on the back about. The fact is, you still did it. And you took this land from the people who were here before, so it’s hypocritical to want to keep other people from coming in and taking it away from you.

WCWM: Can you name one country where the territory wasn’t won by a group that displaced another group? Why is nothing bad unless Americans do it?

SSBW: I’m talking about this country. This is the one I live in. And just because other countries have done something doesn’t make it right when America does it.

WCWM: So the standard for America is perfection, but every other country can do whatever, and are superior in your eyes?

SSBW: I didn’t say they are superior.

WCWM: You want to make us just like them. And you act like I’m wrong because I don’t want their invasion of us to continue. Why is that?

SSBC: The point is, this is a racist country, and you’re too blinded by your white privilege to understand what I go through as a person of color.

WCWM: I understand. You’re given scholarships for nothing but being born your color. You’re given hiring preference for nothing but being born your color. All by oppressive, racist America. You poor victim.

SSBW: Those things are just compensation for what we have to go through every day in life just because of the color we were born with.

WCWM: Oh yeah, I keep forgetting how oppressed you’ve been. Your parents weren’t allowed to work any job except maids or butlers; you weren’t allowed to live in a well-to-do suburb; you were denied an expensive education and you weren’t given a six-figure job right out of college.

SSBW: I had to work for all those things!

WCWM: Ah, so you’re a victim because you have to work for something? They should have just handed it all to you because you’re black?

SSBW: (Under breath, grumbling) People who never experience prejudice just can’t see it.

WCWC: Now you’re assuming I’ve never experienced bigotry, and you assume it because of my skin color. That’s textbook prejudice, right there.

Politics/Current Events

Keeping Trump Honest

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Hopefully, with Trump’s underdog upset victory, his constituents will not go back to sleep assuming that all will be sunshine and puppies forever, now. The man made some promises that convinced us to vote for him, and he needs to keep them regardless of what political “experts” advise.

In most cases he would (and should) need the cooperation of Congress to make all this happen, Constitutionally. But he has a “Republican” Congress, so there are no excuses.

#1 BUILD THE WALL

Secure all our borders, immediately. Not only our future as a country, but the possibility of reelection (usually the most important consideration for a politician) depend on this.  Those who oppose this don’t support you anyway, Donald.

#2 BAN MUSLIM IMMIGRATION

Until a sane vetting process is worked out, abso-friggin-lutely don’t allow ANY more “religion of peace” practicioners into our country. The people who will pitch a fit about this hate America and hate you, anyway, Donald.

#3 END OBAMACARE

The initial consequences of this unConstitutional fiasco are just now beginning to show themselves. The worst of it was conveniently timed to commence after Hussein’s occupation of the White House ended. Shut it down right now. Don’t replace it–just repeal it, period. American medicine was the envy of the world before government began tampering in it. America was once great. How to make her great again is not that difficult to figure out. Those who will cry about this already hate you, Donald.

#4 DISMANTLE THE REGULATORY COBWEBS

If you want to bring jobs back to America, President Trump, our strangled industrial infrastructure needs to be resurrected. That means the red tape quagmire and draconian tax policies, which make the USA a hostile environment for production of any kind, need to be wiped off the board. Those who would oppose making the market free again will never, ever support you anyway, Donald.

#5 END NAFTA AND ABORT THE TPP

Don’t renegoiate it. End it, period. End all past, present, and future trade deals that hurt us. Those who oppose this would never support you anyway, Donald.

Those are just a few of the big ones. But to truly make America great again, a lot more is needed, including:

#6 SEE THAT HILLARY AND THE CRIMINAL SCUM AROUND HER ARE INVESTIGATED

And I mean a real investigation this time. Appoint a special prosecutor (or have Congress do it) who is not in the Clinton Mafia’s pocket, and who doesn’t answer to somebody in their pocket. And when criminal activity is revealed (AGAIN), don’t treat them different from anyone else found guilty of the same crimes.

Even without the satanism and child trafficking in her entourage, the woman compromised the security of the United States for personal gain.

People who want to keep the double standard were never gonna support you anyway, Donald.

MASS DEPORTATION

It’s not nearly enough to patch holes in a boat after a bunch of water has already flooded in. Our ship is sinking. We are under no obligation to people who broke our laws to get here. Kick them out now, regardless of what anecdotal sob stories the America-haters come up with. No other country puts up with this suicidal nonsense, nor should we.

And since their respective native paradises are so superior to oppressive old racist America, then we’re doing them a favor by encouraging their repatriation. They don’t have to transform us into what they escaped from, but can just live the dream right where they belong. Everybody wins.

The invaders were never going to vote for you Donald, at least back in their own country they can’t vote for the Democrats, either.

STOP FOREIGN AID TO OUR ENEMIES

For instance, we give billions to Red China as foreign aid, then borrow it back from them at interest, adding to our colossal debt. Nobody has even attempted to justify this insanity, because nobody can. The closest anyone has ever come is to say, “XXX billion dollars isn’t really that much money.”

Our public servants in all three branches of government have been putting America’s interests behind the interests of every other country we deal with. The people who will be angered by putting America first would never support you anyway, Donald.

REVOKE THE “PATRIOT” ACT AND THE NDAA 2012

The response to every crisis in the last 20 years has been to trample all over the rights of law-abiding American citizens, all in the name of security (while simultaneously allowing untold hordes of murderers and terrorists in through our wide-open borders).

Those who will oppose reversing this miscarriage of justice are no fans of yours anyway, Donald.

ALLOW OIL PRODUCTION ON PUBLIC LAND

We’ve got more than enough oil resources to be completely self-sufficient, but our domestic enemies want to keep us dependent on the oil of our foreign enemies. They’re never going to support you anyway, Donald.

CRACK DOWN ON ELECTION FRAUD

We managed to win despite it this time, but if our voter turnout had been much less, the Democrats would have stolen the election. They’re gonna keep doing this as long as it goes on unchecked and unpunished. The perpetrators need to go to prison and never be trusted in the election process again.

I know I missed some, but this is a start. And aside from mass deportation, I didn’t mention any of the really radical, super-controversial steps to restoration that should be taken.

America can’t become great again without taking these actions. How about it, President Trump?

Politics/Current Events

Tuesday 11/8/16 is America’s Last Chance

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And it’s an uphill fight, all the way. Not even counting the unprecedented, massive election fraud already proven to be taking place across the USA, over half the population is either completely brainwashed by the cultural svengalis of the media-entertainment-education axis, or have already sold their souls for their entitlement check. Or both.

Hillary Clinton has always put her own interests above the interests of the people she is supposed to serve, and her rap sheet of criminal conduct is longer than any comic book supervillain’s. She has brazenly jeopardized the security of this country, and put all of us at risk from America’s enemies. She has enriched herself partially by a back-room deal that put America’s strategic resources in the arsenal of Russia. She seems hell-bent on continuing Obama’s policy of provoking a war with those same Russians, which nobody has justified according to US interests, all while making our national defense weaker. And now, despite the cover-up perpetrated by the lapdog media (including Fox), there is an avalanche of evidence that Hillary, her traitor husband, her Muslim mole assistant, and who-knows-how-many-others, are pedophiles involved in child trafficking and outright satanism.

libertyaghastAnd yet, polls suggest she has anywhere from 40-48% support of registered voters.

Are these new revelations about her monstrous corruption a last warning from God to our nation? I can’t help wondering if He is bringing these hidden, disgusting abominations to light right before the election so that we can glimpse the extent of the evil cancer strangling our country, be forced to recognize that this evil exists, and make our choice Tuesday armed with that knowledge. In other words,, the willfully ignorant will have no more excuse.

We’ve made a point, at Virtual Pulp, not to get overly racial–blaming entire gene pools for the actions of individuals who happen to share some of their DNA. But trends are glaringly obvious and, with the fate of my country and the future of my family at stake, there are some facts that need to be shared.

Why is this our very last chance to turn the country around (if it’s not too late already)? This video thoroughly illustrates one reason that requires no belief in spiritual warfare or the supernatural.

No matter how much Donald Trump’s personality may irritate you; no matter how offended you may be about vulgar remarks he made 11 years ago; no matter how many women the DNC bribes to come forward to accuse him of behavior almost as bad as Bill Clinton’s; no matter how many other scandals the elites are able to concoct, on whatever scale, to make Trump look like a scumbag; Trump is the only candidate who MIGHT honestly try to steer us away from the cliff.

That’s right: the United States of America is speeding toward a cliff. Your trust in the proven liars in mass media, and your obsession with bread and circuses, will not halt the steamroller of reality. The joke will be on you, and it won’t be funny at all from where you sit. It’s rather amazing that the house of cards hasn’t already fallen.

This isn’t a case of just suffering some “liberal” policies if this criminal scum retains is given the reins of power. It’s not just a matter of gridlock because a sitting president is under indictment (and with Hillary in the White House, you can fully expect all investigations to evaporate as investigators mysteriously change their mind or commit suicide). It’s a matter of national survival–economic devastation like we’ve never seen; possibly WWIII triggered in Syria or Ukraine; a possible civil war at home; and “ethnic cleansing” by every side in a racial battleground that extends from sea to shining sea. And, of course, more loss of personal freedoms.

whatisneeded

How much more are you willing to give up? There comes a point when you surrender enough of your rights that there’s nothing you can do to keep them from taking all of them, by force if necessary.

And, as explained in the video, if our suicidal open borders policy isn’t stopped RIGHT NOW, your vote will never matter again. We’ve let it get that far.

Again, it may already be too late. But if we the people don’t instigate a change of course Tuesday, it is guaranteed we will never get another chance. With all the massive, widespread election fraud, we can’t afford for one single person who loves America to miss getting to the polls.

Adventure, SHTF

False Flag Is On Sale

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The third book in The Retreads series is now on sale for 99 cents at Amazon.

False Flag is a near-future SHTF speculative saga of economic collapse and civil war, in which the specops-veterans-turned-military-contractors from Hell & Gone and Tier Zero face catastrophes on the home front.

“Henry Brown takes down some very dark paths in this cautionary tale of the near future USA. Using lots of story straight from today’s headlines (and back page articles…) we see a very nefarious plan against the citizenry…..and the Retreads spring into action putting their mettle to the test….” – J.G. Scott

“Henry Brown is a talented author, a man with a mastery of dialogue and pacing that knows his craft intimately. This book, I can tell, was his attempt to try something a bit…uncomfortable. A challenge. And he pulled it off with the same dexterity I’ve come to expect from him.” – Nate Granzow (Author of Hekura, The Scorpion’s Nest,  the Cogar series)

“Henry Brown has crafted an action-packed romp that is both enjoyable and terrifying.” – R.A. Matthis (Author of The Homeland series, Ghosts of Babylon)

“This book keeps you wanting to know what happens next – and really makes you wait to find out. The divergent story lines of regular Americans eventually tie together to culminate in a larger story of a nation in crisis.” – Amazon review

“What an exceptional story.” – Amazon review

“Third book in the series,. Could stand alone but you don’t want to miss the first two. So go back and purchase Hell and Gone (one of the best military thrillers ever written) and then Tier Zero. You won’t be disappointed.” – Benjamin Drayton

 

 

Non-Fiction/Documentary, Politics/Current Events

Election Fraud in Key Battleground State

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It’s happening all over, and looks like it will make 2012’s election look legitimate by comparison.

This report is about Broward County in Florida, and is not the usual fraud involving dead voters, serial voters and illegal aliens voting. This is election officials taking the matter into their own hands to ensure Hillary Clinton is installed in the White House.

Mike Cernovich, who moonlights as an investigative reporter, has a link to the relevant affidavit.

Action, Adventure, Military, Non-Fiction/Documentary

Bam! Hell & Gone is a Bestseller

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Recently I organized a little media blitz for my debut shoot-’em-up, and ran a 99 cent promotion. The results have been encouraging.

warbestsellers

I’m not a full-time author (I still work a “real” job, drat the luck), so I’m not able to sit at a computer all day and track rankings. The best I saw was that Hell & Gone hit #1 bestseller in war, pulp, and men’s adventure, and reached #70 on the top “paid in Kindle store” on Tuesday night. It was inside the top 50 in some other categories, too, but I don’t know where it peaked. Could a healthy number of reviews/increased visibility be forthcoming? You can bet I’ll be paying attention, when I can.

I’m not sure how many sales I’m getting on Kobo, Apple and Barnes & Noble, where it’s also on sale for 99 cents. (BTW both Hell & Gone and Tier Zero are also available as Audible audio books.)

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I also have a 99 cent promotion scheduled to start Saturday (November 5) for False Flag, the third book in The Retreads series. I don’t have the same level of media blitz lined up, and it’s a darker/more controversial storyline, so I don’t expect the same caliber of spike. However, Election Day happens right in the middle of the promo, and approximately 40% of those who go to the polls will be voting to make this speculative dystopia a reality. So it’s kinda’ fitting.

UPDATE: The sales reports are trickling in from other stores, starting with Barnes & Noble. Don’t know where it put me on their algorithm, but I see a boatload of sales. I need to do this again.

Military, Pet Peeves

Military Hand-Arm Signals in Movies

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A general pet peeve of mine is when an author or film maker attempts to depict military action, or a military milleu, and obviously lacks the knowledge to do it right.

One specific annoyance in the last decade or more is the hand-arm signals used by actors portraying fighting men.

(Such signals are used by marines and infantry while moving tactically in the field, prior to contact, lest they break noise discipline by talking.)

Now, granted: units down to the platoon level often develop their own S.O.P.s for signaling, but in my experience the basic set of signals (get in the wedge; move out; double-time; cease-fire; rally point; head count; halt; freeze; enemy sighted; etc.) are universal across the combat arms in both the US Army and USMC.

So here’s what I think happened: Some movie was made depicting soldiers or marines on a patrol or some other tactical movement. The point man heard or saw something to make him suspect the enemy was close, so he gave the signal to “freeze.” The grunts stopped in their tracks. Some other film maker watched the scene and decided, “Hey, that’s kinda’ cool. Now I know everything I need to know about tactical movement.”

So that film maker, when it was his turn to display his wealth of military research, had an actor use the gesture when it was his turn to film such a scene. Problem is, he thought it was the symbol for “halt,” (open palm facing the troops: “Come to a stop, you richard-heads.”) which is used in different circumstances than “freeze” (raised fist: “Don’t make a move or you might get all our asses shot off!”)

After that, any time a similar scene was shot in any subsequent military movie, rather than hire an advisor to police basic minutia like this, the director went by how it was done in the last flick. After all, “it looked cool.”

So now, invariably, the “freeze” signal is used to command a halt on the screen (even in non-tactical situations, and even in vehicle convoys).

The fallacy is so ubiquitous that I wouldn’t be surprised if actual soldiers begin jacking up the S.O.P. in a life-imitates-art manner after having grown up on these poorly researched movies.

[End of rant.]

Red-Blooded American Men Examine Pop-Culture and the World