Marvel Comics Gives Thor a Sex-Change Operation

Maybe you heard the same rumors I did about Marvel replacing the god of thunder with a chick. I decided to check this out, and now that I’m done puking I can report to you that, yes, it’s true.

Some of you who have paid attention to the encroaching agenda by the pied pipers of pop culture are not surprised in the least by this groan-worthy development. Others are wondering just what in the blazes is going on. I’m going to list some possibilities.

1. Marvel editor Wil Moss and the writers in the bullpen have an overpowering compulsion to foist yet another amazon superninja on their readership, but simply lack the imagination to create an original character.

There’s a lot of evidence  of this epidemic throughout the leftist-dominated entertainment industry. Hollywood, for instance, is so bankrupt of creative ideas that they can dream up nothing to make movies about besides old TV shows, video games or toys. (Oh yeah, I forgot other movies).

2. Nobody at Marvel is educated enough to realize that the pantheons of mythology are brimming with goddesses they could build another super-character out of.

Back in the early 1960s Stan Lee plucked Thor from the Norse pantheon to style him as a superhero. As natural an overlap (superheroes and gods of myth) as that is, it was an original idea at the time. But then I established the status of original ideas in # 1 above.

3. The white knights at Marvel know a new superheroine on the comic shelves would go over pretty much like Elektra went over at the box office, so they have to hijack a well-established character to make their ubiquitous feminist tropes even more inescapable.

This is the likliest reason for this knee-jerk “evolution.” Deep down they realize their fantasy femme won’t be able to pull her own weight.

4. Series writer Jason Aaron has trouble getting women to pay him any attention and thinks being able to point to this female-empowering achievement will earn him some dates.

This is assuming he is heterosexual, which might very well not be the case. But homosexuals and feminists share a lot, ideologically, so this could still be part of a desperate ploy to amp up his romantic portfolio.

5. Forced feminization of a strapping Nordic stud is a private fantasy of Aaron, or Moss, or the mistress who has their balls secured in her purse. Giving Thor tits is their encoded fantasy for public consumption, but enlightened agents dwelling among the unwashed masses will decode the message and understand that their utopia draweth nigh.

Again, my wording assumes they are heterosexual. But I’d rather not transpose this scenario since I’ve puked enough for one day.

6. Speaking of private fantasies, this development grew out of a masturbatory fetish involving a butch blonde dominatrix in a valkerie costume.

Judging by the obligatory amazon superninjas infecting action adventure across every medium, I suspect this fetish is common among beta and gamma male manginas. And please don’t ask me to speculate on what she does with the hammer.

So what’s next for the social programmers? Marvel also uses Greek hero Hercules occasionally. How does “Herculisa” sound?

Don’t be surprised if they use a heart attack to finally kill off Tony Stark, leaving Pepper Potts to become “Iron Maiden,” and Captain America is sodomized into “Captain Rainbow” or something. (No, actually it would be worse if they left his name the same and just did to him what Brokeback Mountain did to the cowboy icon. ) I understand there’s already a “Spider-Girl.”

Of course this latest gender-bending is nothing new. White Knights all over comicdom got tingles up their legs when Frank Miller introduced a female Robin in the mid ’80s. And Marvel’s Captain Marvel (not to be confused with the original, who got his powers from a wizard named Shazam) had a counterpart called Miss Marvel. Eventually Miss became Captain and who knows whatever happened to that guy once the gamma suits in the bullpen stripped him of his mask and tights.

I watched some Justice League cartoons with my son recently. Couldn’t help noticing a couple items there, like how Hawkman has been replaced by Hawkwoman, and how she (though she has no super powers unless they’ve changed that, too) is depicted in a way that makes even Superman look ordinary, if not an inept wimp, in comparison.

No, this “evolution” is nothing new. It’s just more in-your-face than ever.

No-Frills Japanese Mythology?

Is it mythology or embellished history? I’m not sure.

This film had great potential. The visual component was breathtaking, the acting solid, some of the plot ingredients tantalizing. For the first half hour it was shaping up to be a top-notch epic.

One of the main characters (played by Keanu Reeves) is a “half breed” who is also a boy partially raised by “demons.” For both those reasons he is an outcast among the clan he is imbedded with.

During a visit of the Shogun, the master of the clan is framed for a dishonorable crime by a witch working for a rival clan. The Master (Asano) commits seppuku, leaving his samurais without a master (the textbook definition of ronin).

This was all a plot by the rival master, Kira, and the witch Mizuki to have their clan take over the province, which they do. You can probably guess where the story goes from there–which is not a criticism, necessarily.

What is worthy of criticism is the gaps in character development; outright neglect in character building in some cases, and a choppy, rushed execution of the narrative.

Some probably would complain that the film is too long already, but I believe some more screen time was necessary to make it flow. There were some cultural insights and other expository requirements left out which could have saved it for a western audience. With a big budget historical epic there’s just no excuse for cutting corners in the screenplay.

The story concept was much more interesting than Dances With Japanese Wolves The Last Samurai. However (and it hurts me to say this) ruthless adherence to formula, as in the Tom Cruise vehicle, might have been an improvement.

I don’t remember any nudity or sexual content, so this aesthetic adventure might be a candidate for Amazon Instant Theater with the kids. Despite being a one-time fan of Akira Kurosawa, I haven’t seen many samurai films by other directors, and know nothing about other versions of this movie. Nevertheless,  I’m including a couple links below.

Pirates Be Advised: Yer A$$ is Mine!

Thanks yet again to David in Sausalito, California for a nice review of the Tier Zero audio book. This is the sequel to Hell & Gone and an unabashed throwback to the glory days of men’s fiction–as the cover suggests.

Here’s what David said:

Great sequel! The badass band of homicidal misfits are back together for another testosterone-feuled adventure through the pirate infested oceans, cities and jungles of Indonesia. In this sequel to “Hell and Gone” Henry Brown really sharpens his writing with a much improved “flow” and a much improved story arc. “Tier Zero” is much more character driven (and developed) than its predecessor, focusing a little more on the people rather than the action but don’t worry, this is a Henry Brown book–there’s still enough blood, bullets and guts to keep even the most hardcore action junkies drooling – just look at the cover art. These books have a kinda old-school “pulpy’ feel to them that I really like but don’t see (or hear) that much of anymore. The narrator did another outstanding job with the characters both male and female. Don’t worry if you haven’t read “Hell and Gone”, this book can easily be read as a stand alone. Awesome book overall!

Recorded books are a godsend for me, as my time to sit and actually read anything is pretty scarce. But there’s still a lot of times I can listen to something without breaking stride. And Audible downloads to your listening device are painless.

Equalibrium

 

This action sci-fi thriller is set in a dystopian future in which emotions have been made illegal.

You read that right. More on that below.

I don’t know what (if anything) the film makers have said about their stylistic vision for this film, but visually it is identical to the Matrix trilogy. The plot, however, is built on a different platform of fears.

In the future, emotions are controlled by a mandatory drug citizens are required to take periodically. Anyone suspected to be foregoing their dose is turned in to the authorities and executed.

The Christian Bale character is a model cop (called “cleric”), as upon finding his partner with a book of poetry (all stimulus which might induce an emotional response, or “sense offense,” are illegal), he takes him down with all the poignancy of the Orkin Man stepping on a cockroach. We also get flashbacks which show his own wife was terminated for sense offense as well.

The main catalyst for the plot is when the cleric begins to experience emotions of his own.

I would say the acting is good, but then with the wooden personas of law-abiding citizens in this flick, that’s hard to argue. And of the few emotions displayed throughout the film, most were displayed by the last person it made any sense to have show them: Bale’s even colder new partner, played by Taye Diggs.

Either Diggs was auditioning for a toothpaste commercial, or the director had a huge blind spot. All his mugging actually annoyed me with its anomaly. We’re supposed to believe that Bale is in danger because Diggs suspects he’s “sense offending” when it’s Diggs who is the obvious sense offender from where the audience sits and Bale hides his emotions fairly well.

There were some suspenseful scenes and plot twists, so if you can suspend disbelief, it truly will be a “thriller” for you.

The “gun katas” practiced by the clerics look kind of neat, but are rather silly as a combat technique.

That’s not far from descriptive of the movie as a whole: looks neat, but rather silly.

I recently saw Pleasantville, so I’m becoming aware of a new apparent phobia spreading among the Hollywood elite: that fascistic bullies are plotting to take over the world and suppress their feelings.

The symbol dominating this police state is intentionally reminiscent of the Swastika (I guess the film makers never watched film footage of the Nazis,  because it’s kinda hard to miss how emotional/passionate Hitler and his followers were.)

The movie gets really heavy-handed when the Clerics find an illegal kennel and decide to kill off a bunch of puppies.

I’m stopping here. I’ve already spent too much time on this flick.

SOF Over-Representation in Pop Culture

Don Pendleton’s “Executioner” character, Mack Bolan, may have been one of the first Special Forces veterans to undertake fictional adventures for public consumption.

In the movies, Billy Jack was the first such character I can think of.

Eventually comic books got in the act. Marvel was “inspired” by The Executioner to create The Punisher. (Anyone who’s read both probably suspects that Frank Castle is really just Mack Bolan with a jones for skintight costumes.)

But the trend didn’t stop there. It seems like every Vietnam veteran character in a film or novel up to the early 1990s was also ex-Special Forces. To judge by popular culture, you’d think the entire conflict in Vietnam was fought exclusively by “Green Berets.”

It got so ridiculous that in Frank Miller’s Batman: Year One Lieutenant James Gordon (Before he becomes Commissioner Gordon), observing a crooked cop on the Gotham PD decides, “He moves like he’s had Green Beret training. It’s been a long time since I had to take down a Green Beret…”

 

I probably need to emphasize that I’m not just talking about action heroes (or villains) here, or characters in other genre work who might need the skills they picked up in SOF in a given storyline. I’m talking about characters (sometimes secondary, sometimes who the readers/viewers never even “meet”) who could just as easily have been a clerk/jerk in Saigon, a supply sergeant in DaNang or a motor pool mechanic at Fort Ord. Nope–SF soldiers were the only ones writers had heard anything about, so by Barry Saddler’s Ghost, everybody gets a green beret.

Finally this trend has changed. Now, it seems, (judging by novels and movies) every swinging richard deployed to Iraq and Afghanistan was a Navy SEAL. Or fought with the Recon Marines.

True, I stacked my military thrillers with  Special Operations Force vets, but I had good reason to. Some missions require such men.

Most don’t.

I could probably dissect this subject at length, but in a nutshell I chalk it up to writers’ laziness.

What makes elite forces elite is that not every combatant is asked to do what they do, and not every combatant could, if asked. Having spent most of my active duty at Fort Bragg, NC (the Special Forces Mecca), I’ve probably seen more green beenies than 99% of writers out there, but I’ve decided to make a conscious effort to represent regular soldiers (and sailors, marines, etc.) more in my fiction from now on, unless special missions are necessary. Special Operations play a crucial role, but it’s regular GIs who win wars and I’m gonna try to remember that, despite what everyone else is doing.

BTW, I can’t help wondering if this pop culture conditioning played a part in the US Army’s decision to let every swinging richard (and split-tail) wear bloused jump boots with their Class As and the black beret of a Ranger.

The younger guys probably aren’t even bothered by the Everyone-Is-Elite image because it’s been this way for a while now, but to me this is like letting every athlete in every league call themselves an All-Star, every recording artist have a platinum album and (closer to home) every author claim to be a best-seller.

“What A Blast! A-Team meets the Expendables.”

“What A Blast! A-Team meets the Expendables.”

So reads a review of the Hell & Gone audio book on Audible.com.

I remember a few years ago I was faithful about posting the latest reviews of my books on the blog. Not so much anymore, but I’m about to toot my own horn again.

(Wait a minute…is it really me tooting the horn if somebody else wrote the review? I’m probably more like an amplifier or something.)

This guy can write! Great action packed “mercenary” type story with very likeable “good guys” and very dislikable “bad guys”. I’ve read reviews from military/action writers praising Henry Brown’s skills but due to my “wish list” being so full I haven’t been able to listen to any of his books ’til now and I seriously regret not doing it sooner. Very impressive for what I believe to be his first action book. Without a doubt I’ll be listening to the sequel, “Tier Zero“- if the reviews are accurate it’s suppose to be even better than “Hell and Gone”. The narrator did a very good job with the dialogue-no complaints.

Many thanks to David in Sausalito, CA for taking the time to share his thoughts.

BTW, I have a code coupon for a free download of the Audible book for somebody willing to post an honest review on Amazon and Audible.

Fisking the Feminist Thought Police

I think I remember reading or hearing once, years ago, that the word “hysterical” derived from a Latin root phrase which means, roughly, “wandering uterus.” In that light, a partner in crime here at Virtual Pulp directed my attention to a post on some site called “XO Jane” titled: 35 Practical Steps Men Can Take To Support Feminism.

(Maybe “hysterical” came from Greek instead of Latin. Does it matter? It’s all Greco-Roman to me. Who can really differentiate between all those ancient skirt-wearing metrosexuals, anyway?)

If you have the stomach for it, you can read the entire manifesto here…just in case you thought the list items below are another of my parodies because surely nobody would come out and actually spew B-Movie (femi)Nazi dogma like this in public.

Well, they have come out, and stop calling me Shirley!

Frankly, it’s hysterical–the parts that don’t either put you to sleep or induce vomiting, that is. So I’m going to pull priceless nuggets of sage advice from this hysterical masterpiece and apply some perspective in Two-Fisted Blogging style.

Of the 35 nuggets on this list, here are the highlights:

3. Consume cultural products produced by women.

Unless it’s food or clothes, because that would be helping “the Patriarchy” force her into an oppressive gender role.

6. When a woman tells you something is sexist, believe her.

And when a Democrat tells you something is racist, believe them.

10. Have progressive name politics.

What this refers to is a male taking a female’s last name when they get married. It’s news to me that people are doing this in our “oppressive patriarchy,” and even have a name for it. I wonder how happy a woman could be married to the blue pill spineless pantywaist (or gamma-male mangina, if you prefer) willing to go through with this. Well, she probably only wants the alleged man for his income anyway.

15. Don’t be an online bystander in the face of sexism.

Be proactive and willing to turn in your cyber-neighbors, because the NSA can’t watch everyone every second that they might be committing thoughtcrime.

19. Pay attention to the sex of experts and key figures presenting information to you in the media.

Because a cornerstone of equality is judging somebody by their sex (or race or ethnicity) rather than the validity of their claims.

20. Ensure that some of your heroes and role models are women.

Don’t worry–the entertainment industry has got this covered. You have no choice–even if you want to watch or read an action-adventure about a male protagonist, the obligatory amazon superninja will be rammed down your throat EVERY SINGLE TIME.

Appearances notwithstanding, this is the most macho character in Iron Man II.

21. Praise the virtues and accomplishments of women in your life to others.

Whether they deserve praise or not. In fact, women should never be criticized for ANYTHING they say or do because that’s sexism. Unless they’re politically right-of-center, of course.

24. Know that acknowledging your own sexist opinions and stereotypes you hold is not enough. Do something about them.

If you’re already meeting your quota of television viewing but still cling to the bigoted notion that men and women are different, a lobotomy and castration may be in order.

26. Find female mentors/leaders. (i.e., Be subordinate to women.)

Change careers if necessary…or sign on with a professional dominatrix. Sorry, there’s just too many potential responses to # 26 and most of them involve throwing up.

29. Offer to accompany female friends if they have to walk home alone at night…or in a public space where they may be likely to feel unsafe.

Some agent provacateur from the Patriarchy must have inserted this one, since it’s so obviously sexist–presuming that a woman needs a man for protection, to feel safe, or for anything else. We know from popular culture that women are superior to us in every way, after all.

30. Inject feminism into your daily conversations with other men.

Don’t just police your own thoughts–make sure everyone else is thinking correctly, too.

32. Women still earn about 77% as much as men. If you are in a position where you are financially able to do so, consider donating a symbolic 23% of your income to social justice-oriented causes.

No worries: For those who work for a living, the IRS is already doing this with your money.

34. Get in the habit of treating your maleness as an unearned privilege that you have to actively work to cede rather than femaleness being an unearned disadvantage that women have to work to overcome.

It’s hard to imagine a comparative statement with assumptions more myopic on both sides of the comparison.

35. Self-identify as a feminist.

I’m guessing anyone born male who is candy-assed enough to follow any of these directions has already self-identified, at every opportunity. It’s probable he already carries membership cards in his purse to establish bona fides (while somebody else carries his testicles in her purse).

BTW, as an antidote to this (and many other cultural ills) I shamelessly plug my satirical E-Book The Greater Good.

Where Moth and Rust Destroy

history
Some of my international and military history, plus some books that were just too tall to fit anywhere else.

Almost all of my books have been in storage since moving to Florida nearly a decade ago. I took precautions against moisture, bugs, etc, but I’m just now getting around to setting up my home office and bringing them in.

militaryhistory
American and military history–even with my creative cramming I couldn’t make it all fit.

About those precautions…they worked fine for a few years, but last time I visited the storage shed, I found that moisture had made the tape quit adhering to the boxes, compromising my meticulous sealing efforts. A couple boxes had fallen over for whatever reason (critters I suspect), busted open, and the contents spilled out.

scififantasybooks
My science fiction and fantasy novels–most of ’em, anyway.

I picked up a couple bookshelves at a yard sale, and am organizing my office…and don’t see how I’ll make everything fit. For every book in these photos there are probably two or three I’ll have to sell or give away.

warnovels
Ahh, my war novel shelf. If you’re reading this, Len Levinson: I was the first kid on my block to collect the entire Sergeant series!

Money is pretty tight these days, and one of the bookcases is missing shelves. I will probably cut some out of scrap lumber.

westerns
Westerns…mostly. My hardcover westerns wouldn’t fit.

This bookcase I crammed with my favorite stuff–history, military history, westerns, sci-fi, fantasy (hack & slash; not all that wussy magic elf doorstop fodder), men’s adventure, war fiction–but it’s becoming clear that I have a lot of other paper books I’m never gonna have time to read even once. So rather than acquire more shelving so it can crowd my already shrinking office, I may start trying to sell it on E-Bay or something. Some of it I already threw away (like some OLD software manuals and a couple Writer’s Markets from back when such things were an allegedly justifiable investment).

destroyedbymildew
Even sitting still, boxed up in storage, these two fell apart. The Ghengis Khan biography mildewed.

Here’s the first heartbreaker I discovered: my treasured second-hand copies of Teddy Roosevelt’s autobiographical story of the Rough Riders, and a Genghis Khan biography. In this latter book I discovered a quote that John Millius paraphrased in Conan the Barbarian, in addition to other fascinating tidbits. Well, despite being protected from sun, rain, children, etc., both books had fallen apart in their boxes. Half of the Genghis Khan book had been glued to the side of the box by mildew, and the other half slid further down inside the box and fragmented even more.

I have big plans for my office, and a lot of the material needed. The plans include video and audio editing for possible upcoming film projects, and of course writing more books. What I still don’t have is enough time in the day. I keep hoping my ship will come in and I can retire from my day job to start chasing these dreams. So far that ship is still lost at sea.

An Epic Covering 24 Hours

We’re still not done with the Normandy Invasion.

The Longest Day is one of those iconic war movies (at least it was when I was growing up–I’m sure it’s something else, now) that every kid remembered when playing with plastic “army men,” most likely trying to recreate one or more of the many memorable scenes from it. Before I ever developed the patience to sit in front of a TV for two hours, I remember three or four times catching the scene with the squad of nuns who march calmly through a firefight to tend the wounded.

As a teenager I sat through the entire movie for the first time. It would not be the last. These days it’s hard to appreciate what an ambitious undertaking this production was–exceeded in scope perhaps only by the monumental event it depicts. It was also unprecedented to have so many big-name actors in one film; but it’s still a riveting movie even when you don’t recognize most of the star power.

Not only does this film warrant a permanent purchase, but the book it was based on is well worth a read, too.

For some reason there’s no footage from the Omaha Beach scenes on Youtube. Couldn’t even find a good still from inside a landing craft. But you get the idea from Saving Private Ryan.

 

Cornelius Ryan did a phenomenal job of investigative reporting in putting the book together. He interviewed hundreds of participants on both sides from lower enlisted up to the highest ranking generals (the supreme commander on the Allied side)–armies, navies and air forces. He took all the personal stories of that day and blended them together into a cohesive epic. And he did this before there was any such thing as cell phones, the Internet, social networks and so on. He had to physically investigate and track down witnesses. There was no Facebook or Classmates.com…or even a word processor for him to compile his data on.

And he did a helluva job. If you have even a passing interest in history, you really should read the book or at least watch the movie.

Many of the participants at the time remarked that there would never be another day like June 6 1944 in history, and they were right. The geopolitics will never resemble what it was then, and technology has ensured that war will never be fought that way again. Most would say we’ll never see another armada of that size either, but time will tell.

The Sergeant in the Hedgerows

In remembrance of the 70th anniversary of the Normandy invasion, I’ve been celebrating the work of my favorite war fictioneer, Len Levinson. I just came across something he wrote that I really should have included in my intro to my interview of him. So I’m going to quote it here:

“…In order to turn average American young men into soldiers, or to be blunt, trained killers, a certain amount of brutality is involved.  And this brutality inevitably coarsens the spirit.  When writing these novels, I wanted to be as realistic as possible.  My goal was not to please the English Departments of American Universities, or to glorify combat, but to tell realistic stories about the tragedy and comedy of war, with all its blood, guts, cruelty, irony, and occasional heroism.” – Len Levinson

That, folks, is exactly what his war novels do. Mission accomplished, Private Levinson.

This book is the third in the series, and the one it took me literally decades to find (and complete my Sergeant collection–paperbacks written under the pseudonym “Gordon Davis” and set in the ETO). As the title suggests, this covers the period immediately after the beach landings and before Patton’s breakout, when the invaders were fighting through the hedgerows.

Master Sergeant C.J. Mahoney and sidekick Corporal Cranepool have just transferred from the Rangers to a line company, and Big Army BS overtakes them rather quickly. Their Company Commander is a jerk and Topkick is a LIFER scum (been there, done that). The soldiers under Mahoney are typical grabasstic draftees. And “friendly fire” incidents become almost habitual, perpetuated by typical military bureaucracy and the incompetence it breeds.

One thing Len liked to do in this series is steer Mahoney into notable highlights of the war in Europe. Sometimes he went beyond that and had Mahoney himself become instrumental in the course of events. As mentioned previously, I thought the way he had Mahoney destroy the German fuel reserves during the Battle of the Bulge (#8 Bloody Bastogne) was brilliant. And yet there’s other times when I don’t as readily buy it.

Once was in the book preceding this one (#2 Hell Harbor) when the brass are content with sending the Rangers on a suicidal frontal assault on the German fortress. While taking a bath, Mahoney comes up with what should have been the obvious strategy from the start.

There’s a similar contrived moment in this book. Here’s a little historical note to orient you: the hedgerows in northern France were so tall and thick that they’d been an obstacle to armies going back to Roman times. How high and how thick? Well, even the Sherman Tanks deployed by the Allies had a very difficult time busting through them. This delayed the Allied Forces from breaking out of the landing zone…in other words, it was holding up the advance in a way that the Germans by themselves couldn’t, and ultimately prolonging the war. Then an American tanker, using a little Yankee ingenuity, welded together a crude brush-cutting blade and afixed it to the front of a tank. Not long after that, Patton’s 3rd Army broke out and had the Krauts on the run.

I’ve followed Mahoney through the blood splattered pages of nine novels, so I know him pretty well. He’s a fantastic field soldier, an accomplished pick-up artist, and probably the world’s greatest bayonet fighter.  One thing he is not is a handyman. Mahoney is not mechanically inclined, so having him be the one to design the brush-cutter for our tanks was an eye-roller for me.

That being said, Bloody Bush has loads of what makes The Sergeant such fun books to read–blood, guts, action, history, larger than life characters–and will not disappoint fans of war porn, men’s fiction or action-adventure. The best news is that now it’s an E-book, and easily found (for a price that is well worth the investment).

Red-Blooded American Men Examine Pop-Culture and the World