Reviews Are the New Word-of-Mouth?

I heard that suggestion recently and have been pondering it since.

Let’s glance at the Current Year literary landscape:

The population in the USA is about 340 million. Despite the growth of our population, the fewer literate people we wind up with. (IOW, recreational reading is a pastime only for a shrinking demographic.) Not trying to imply one is a cause of the other–just pointing out that our customer base is not related to the total number of living bodies within our borders.

  • The community of readers is not tight-knit.
  • In fact, most have never met, and never will.
  • Since they don’t know each other, discussions don’t take place.
  • “Word of mouth,” regarding books, is effectively extinct.
  • The substitute for literate conversation readers are stuck with are:
    • Online spaces like Goodreads, where you can make recommendations to strangers.
    • The product-featuring algorithms of online bookstores.
    • Online book reviews.

Can you see how the deck is stacked against indie authors, just from that?

Word-of-mouth would be our secret weapon to level the playing field with our tradpub counterparts…if word-of-mouth had not effectively withered and died since the advent of the World Wide Web. For 95% of literate America, there is no “word-of-mouth.” You can bump into other literate folks on social media or whatever, but when you do, it’s likely they’ve got something else on their mind besides discussing literature.

In my current job, I am fortunate to have some colleagues who have read books, voluntarily, in their life post-college. Occasionally we discuss one, if it comes up somehow in conversation. Our tastes don’t overlap all that much, but this is nice. And rare.

So how do readers find a book that looks interesting?

I’ll tell you how I do it, now that my days of browsing the shelves of brick-and-mortar bookstores  is ancient history: I pay attention to recommendations on social media (which I constantly curate,  keeping SJWs and most NPCs off my feed), and, when it’s time for the Big Based Book Sale, I go shopping there. Recently discovered is the Alchemy for Art Indie Library–also a good place to look.

When I’m intrigued by a book, I’ll click the link, read the blurb on the product page, and click “Read Sample” to get a feel for the prose. Lastly, I’ll peruse some of the reviews–positive and negative.

In the Current Year, that’s usually the extent of the vetting I’m capable of (and boy, is it necessary to vet in the Current Year!).

You may be thinking it’s risky allowing strangers to influence my final decision to take a chance on a book–and you’re right. But a well-written review is usually the closest I can get to word-of-mouth.

And there are dangers beyond the mercurial opinions of strangers who write reviews. I don’t necessarily share their tastes and pet peeves, for instance. Worse are the legions of reviewers who are deliberately disingenuous.

There are at least two demographics behind  drive-by one-star reviews. The first are Thought Cops for the Woketard Hive Mind, out to silence, cancel, or at least destroy sales of any book/author they disapprove of. Time was, their thought-policing often backfired. (If one of them reviewed a book I was already interested in, for instance, and complained that there was no sympathetic homosexual character or macho warrior womyn, that book was as good as sold.)

But now with ‘Zon’s “rating” option, the Hive Mind can sabotage a book’s overall rank without ever revealing the reason they don’t want you to buy it. (‘Zon abets the woke mob in many ways. One is, they sift through the books in their store every so often, and nuke reviews of books by the dissident right, without ever explaining why they did so. With my books, it’s always a five-star review they vaporize. I’ve quit tracking this because it’s too depressing.)

No less reprehensible than this leftist chicanery is similar behavior by who I suspect are fellow authors. I’ve met people like this, so my hypothesis is not entirely speculative: they assume they can build themselves up by tearing others down–unjustly in many cases. They, too, lack the courage to reveal their true motives. But that doesn’t hinder them from chopping down the rank of a book they feel competes too strongly with their own.

This brings to mind another hurdle facing indie authors I will hopefully address in another blog post.

I’m curious what others think:

  • Do you pay attention to book rankings?
  • Do you read customer reviews before making your decision to buy or not?
  • How much weight do you place on reviews?
  • Is there some other “word-of-mouth” substitute you trust better?
  • How is your opinion of an unread (by you) book affected when there’s only a handful of reviews (even if the reviews are all good…even if the book was a bestseller)?
  • How about when a book has a lot of ratings/reviews but most are negative?
  • Do you ever ponder the difference between ratings and reviews?
  • What if all the reviews are four and five stars, but most of the rankings are three stars and lower?

As always, I am grateful to all the readers who take the time to post honest reviews.

Napoleon – a Review

If you didn’t see this movie in the theater, you might be tempted to watch it now that it’s streaming on Prime and possibly other services. Read this first.

For fans of military history, Napoleon represents an historical force. His accomplishments should be studied with respect, if not reverence.

It is safe to assume that director Ridley Scott is not a fan of military history.

Like nearly everyone calling the shots in Homowood, government, and every other institution, Scott is a geriatric leftist. There are exceptions, but his demographic is notorious for bad relationships with their fathers. Why Scott chose to treat the subject matter as he did  might have been guaranteed by his life-long contempt for strong patriarchal authority figures–especially those widely considered to be great.

This is not a film about Napoleon the strategist, Napoleon the Emperor, or even Napoleon the ambitious overachiever. It is a pedestrian screed against “toxic masculinity” which elevates the female (especially Josephine) to the Eternal Pedestal. Even Marie Antionette is granted a more sympathetic portrayal than the eponymous character.

Since this movie is about a man obsessed with a woman, it’s relevant to warn you that he is portrayed as emotionally unstable, egomaniacal (not just egotistical, which the real Bonaparte probably was), and sexually inept.

In reality, Bonaparte’s fixation on the sexually adventurous widow pointed to his own capacity for blunder in his personal life–if not a sign of ignorance, arrested development, some sort of fetish, or a character flaw. In the movie, it is inflated to carry the all-too-typical gynocentric trope that a man’s value as a human being depends upon the approval/acceptance of a woman.  The message comes across that (with the exception of Toulon) Bonaparte’s military successes were directly linked to his social credit score with Josephine. As their relationship soured, his great victories turned into colossal defeats. And when she died, that brought about his ignominious end.

Part of what was necessary to pull off this message (in a biopic about an historical figure defined by his military exploits, no less) was to simply ignore Bonaparte’s multiple campaigns and shove 95% of his military career off-screen. Only three battles are depicted–and only in part: Toulon, Austerlitz, and Borodino. The last was reduced to an half-assed montage of cavalry galloping through snow, in a half-assed  Russian Campaign sequence that amounts to an ambiguous afterthought.

Also painfully lacking is sufficient insight into why the battles (much less the respective wars) were fought.

C’mon, guys: the director has better things to do than spend that multimillion dollar budget showing you yucky military stuff in a biopic ostensibly about a military man.  The director’s primary role is an apologist for female behavior–in this case, a haughty royal blinded by her own privilege, and an unfaithful slut who married up about as high as she could go, but still drunk with entitlement to the point she delighted in making her husband miserable.

Creative license was used to the opposite effect  for the men, of course. There is not one single male character in the film that is likeable.

This is a cinematic hit piece, at most–a depressing one that leaves you wondering what the point was (other than “patriarchy bad”–gee, what a groundbreaking message).

Although there is an actor who wears funny hats who you see throughout the film, he he bears little resemblance to the Napoleon Bonaparte of history. I suspect he’s really a stand-in for a filmmaker’s father.

 

Citadel of the Seven Swords – a Review

You may have noticed that Gio has been reviewing a lot of fantasy lately that may or may not qualify as Iron Age (depending on who you talk to). Well, I also have recently bought some new fantasy and sci-fi by based authors. Maybe I’m not knocking down my TBR pile as fast as Gio is chopping down his, but I’ll have some reviews coming your way, too.

This is Book One of Erik Waag’s Wandering Sword Series.

The story opens with the protagonist (the wily Northman, Skarde) a slave bending the oar on a ship–due to misfortune from a previous misadventure.

I know we’ve been making many comparisons to Robert E. Howard’s fantasy lately (and that’s a good thing), but I’m not done yet. The beginning of this adventure felt very Howardesque.

Skarde escapes from the ship, and enslavement to the Iron Brotherhood–but is doggedly pursued even after reaching the seeming safety of an island.

That island is ruled by a cult with some serious muscle at its disposal. A literal titan  dwells in the fiery bowls of the island’s volcano, forging the seven swords of the title. The adventure takes us through the island’s underground labyrinth where, with the help of other slaves, and a powerful sorceress, Skarde hatches a plan to defeat the titan and the cult leader, and secure his freedom.

Waag shoots for verisimilitude in his action sequences. Skarde is certainly clever, agile, and strong, but is not superhuman and far from infallible. And the tension runs high in between the action. My only complaint is that the story feels like it’s just finding its rhythm when the book ends. No character arc or development to speak of–the reader is just getting to know Skarde, in fact.

This is not unusual for the first book in a series. And, of course, the current market is friendliest to series fiction–so it’s no wonder so many authors choose to write them. I found enough promise in Citadel of Seven Swords that I do want to read the next book. But I expect it to delve deeper into characterization (at least enough to make Skarde stand out in some way from other fantasy adventure heroes) and provide a more immersive reading experience.

Paradox Chapter Reveal: “Culture Shock”

I blogged about my decision to break Paradox into a series. I thought of the idea literally years before I committed to doing it. The cause of my reluctance was my compulsion to spin one self-contained, stand-alone saga with time travel, babes, action, football, and nuggets of wisdom for boys and men, and that’s what my rough draft was.

Having made the commitment to make it episodic, I then had to tweak the respective episodes so they wouldn’t read like literary fragments with no context. So each episode had to have it’s own story question, and it’s own wrap-up. But I didn’t want to contrive some kind of cliffhanger to end every book on. A cliffhanger here and there is fine, can even be good, but when they’re forced over and over again, I think it’s weak storytelling. Remember: I’m a reader, too. I bought a virtual “box set” once, with every book ending on a cliffhanger. I thought it was manipulative and annoying.

Anyway, I had to tweak stuff here and there, re-explain stuff from previous books, add on to first chapters, and in some cases write new chapters to fit this episodic format.

Book One (Escaping Fate) ends after the still-preadolescent protagonist gets a new identity, a new family, new “home” coordinates in the time-space continuum, and is about to begin his new life. In the mammoth-sized rough draft, the next plot point is that he starts that new life. But now I have to tell that part in a different book. What if A new reader picks this one up first for whatever reason? What if a reader finished Book One, but there’s been a delay in between and some of the details are fuzzy in his memory? This chapter was written to guide those readers into the new episode:

My Spanish wasn’t good enough yet to follow such a rapid-fire conversation, with advanced vocabulary. Still, I wouldn’t characterize it as an argument.

Mami sounded confused, sad, and worried. She never argued with Dad—at least that I ever saw.  Dad took good care of her, and she was easy to please anyway. Whatever disagreements they might have had must have been resolved quickly and respectfully, because they were never angry with each other. But that morning she was distraught, and pleading, while Dad was resolute and unmoving.

I stepped outside the adobe hacienda into the warm California air and the scent of citrus. I’d never seen Mami unhappy and didn’t know how to handle it. As much as I would have liked to restore her to her normal happy state of mind, this was grownup business and I had no jurisdiction, I strolled into the nearest row of orange trees. Quick as Tarzan, I climbed my favorite tree up to the highest branch that would support my weight. Normally I would read a comic book or one of Dad’s pulp magazines at my normal perch. This time I just took a seat and swung my feet back and forth.

I had witnessed more than my share of grownup bickering, and preferred to be somewhere else when it took place. Back in 1988 St. Louis, my biological parents argued just about whenever they saw each other. It wasn’t all that often, so I was thankful for that. Evidently they could only put up with each other long enough to make a baby. I guess it was all downhill from there.

When the Erasers murdered my biological family, I was shocked and sad for a while, but I didn’t miss them—except for Abel, my younger half-brother, sometimes.

I shifted my gaze from the huge, flat-roofed adobe structure over to the fake barn that housed Dad’s “Temperature Wheel”—the ingenious engine that turned the generator which powered the estate. To the south of both structures was a separate, enormous building with multiple garage bays. Some were garages, some were aircraft hangars. Dad kept them all under lock and key, not so much because thieves might find their way to the Orange Grove, but because some of the vehicles he stored there had not been conceived or manufactured yet.

Before I get too far along, I should probably explain that “Dad” was really my Uncle Simon. Even before my rescue from the time-traveling assassins who erased the existence of my family, my uncle had lifted me out of a pretty bleak childhood. It wasn’t him who saved me from the Erasers, though. That was one of his doppelgängers. Yeah—it gets confusing.

And no, the little Mexican woman inside the house wasn’t my biological mother, either—though she was my real mother, so far as I was concerned.

They came outside, now, Dad’s arm around her shoulders. She looked to the left, then the right, and called out, “Pedrito?”

Ya viene, Mama!” I replied, scrambling down the tree.

I hit the ground running toward her. She wiped her eyes and spread her arms, leaving Dad behind by a few paces. When I reached her, she embraced me with the warmth and affection I had become addicted to in a short time. I hugged her back and she planted kisses on my forehead.

“Oh Mijo, I mees you already!” she cried, giving me an intense squeeze. She let go and stepped back, taking my hands and meeting my gaze. Her brown eyes were glossy and edged with sadness. She switched to Spanish, but spoke slowly so I could follow. “Don’t ever forget that this is your home, Pedrito. Don’t ever forget that I love you and I am here for you. If you ever need anything, come home.”

“Dad says I’ll get to see you every weekend, Mamita,” I said.

“Don’t act like such a grown man—weekends are not enough! This house will be so empty without you, my precious one.”

I didn’t know what to say. I wanted to stay here with Mami anyway, but Dad was sure he had a better arrangement.

“I love you,” she said.

“I love you too, Mami,” I said.

I knew nothing at all about love, with this one exception: I loved her. She was the best mother anyone could ever hope for. Were it not for football and Gloria Benake, Dad would have had to pry me away from 1934, and this woman.

Football.

Just months ago (in relative time) I had been indifferent toward the game. Now it was my obsession. Not just because it was simulated combat—although I did like that aspect of it. There was something else about it that appealed to me which I couldn’t identify. It was more than a game. More than a sport. On a football team you were part of something. I had never been part of anything.

I wasn’t great at punting or kicking, but I had good hands and could catch the ball if it came anywhere near me. I could run the ball too. And when it came to passing, I could really sling that pigskin. I thrived on solving the tactical problems presented by the other team. My instincts led me to call the right plays in most situations. A shoo-in for quarterback, right?

But my Achilles’ Heel was my leadership ability…or lack thereof. Dad had broken the bad news to me that I was a loner, not a leader. I had bristled at this pronouncement, but he was probably right. I had been alone more often than not as far back as I could remember. I had pals at school, but never really any deep friendships. Nobody in my biological family valued my company. I was alienated back in my old life, and socially inept, for lack of healthy models to emulate. When very young, I hated my isolation. By the time Uncle Si/Dad came into my life, I had come to prefer it most of the time.

Without much experience functioning in a group, and an acquired disinterest in such, of course I was clueless about how to lead one. So I wasn’t a natural leader, by any sober evaluation.

My desperate hope was that leadership could be learned.

Dad and I watched movies together, periodically. Typically we watched them twice in a row, playing armchair anthropologist. I didn’t say much on the second viewing, mostly listening to Dad’s analysis. He pointed out specific human interactions and compared them to what happens in real life. If they were realistically depicted, he would pass judgment on how smart, right, and/or effective the characters’ words and actions were. I learned a lot from his commentary about group dynamics while watching war movies. I had learned some leadership principles already, just in the months since I had come to know him.

Maybe I could rebuild myself. If I learned the lessons Dad was teaching me, perhaps I could be a part of something great. Maybe I could become a great quarterback—and not just in my own mind. I wanted to rise to the level that coaches, other players, people who watched games…they would recognize not only that I was part of something, but I was also great at something. Something I loved.

Normally, I was as uninterested in validation as I was in social interaction. But I wanted validation in this one area. I wanted it bad.

Dad and I climbed into his big Duesenberg roadster and drove off to start a new life, while Mami stood in the drive, waving goodbye.

The warm wind pulled gently at my hair as we drove down the long gravel driveway. When we were no longer within sight of Mami and the house, Dad opened a panel on the dashboard, cued up our new coordinates on the warp interface, and initiated the jump.

“Jumping” through a dimensional warp to different space-time coordinates gives you the sensation of driving into a swirling vortex that swallows up all sight and sound for a moment. When your eyes and ears latch back onto what seems normal, you’re somewhere else, somewhen else.

In this case, we were on a lonely road outside Bakersfield in 1953.

The road took us to a warehouse Dad owned in a burgeoning industrial park, where he swapped the Doozy for his hopped-up ’41 Willys. We drove that into the residential neighborhood where Dad owned a typical middle class home with front-and-back yards.

“I’ve been thinking about the Big Spooky,” I said, now that the wind noise didn’t interfere with conversation.

“Oh yeah?” Dad replied, eyebrows raised. He was the first adult I remember ever taking an interest in what I thought about anything.

“What if it has something to do with the Erasers?”

He already looked skeptical.

The Big Spooky was something he introduced me to during our summer vacation. At certain coordinates, I would feel an overwhelming sensation of dread for no apparent reason. It always felt momentous, or tumultuous. Sometimes the flavor was downright repulsive. Other times, it had an almost seductive quality. Dad had encountered it before and conducted an impromptu experiment to see if I felt it at the same times and places he did.

“Hear me out,” I said, “okay? The government covered up whatever happened in Roswell in 1947. Right? Wouldn’t the Erasers want to cover it up, too? I mean, if somebody was able to get the story out about what really happened, that could cause a split in the timestream. So the Erasers have to wipe out whoever had the real story, witnesses, and whoever else knew them. And we feel the Big Spooky there because of the deaths.”

Dad didn’t say anything right away, so I pushed on.

“Same thing at Jeckyll Island. Somebody found out what they were doing, and was gonna blow the whistle. Boom. In come the Erasers. That’s the obvious conclusion for the JFK assassination, right? The Olympiad? I mean, the Nazis had all kinds of secrets that could have split the timestream if the world found out what they were planning before the war even started. And maybe there was some technology that couldn’t be shown at the World’s Fair. If it had, it might have led to a split in the stream, so the Erasers had to kill off whoever would have introduced that tech..”

Dad sighed, but kept his tone bright. “I don’t think so, Sprout. I’ve been around enough death to know that, by itself, it doesn’t cause the Big Spooky. Was the Big Spooky there at the trailer park when the Erasers got your relatives?”

Anybody else would probably have avoided mentioning the murder of my biological family, assuming it was too sensitive a subject to broach. But Dad was painfully blunt—especially with me. Also, it often seemed he could read my mind, so it was no surprise he somehow understood that he could broach the subject now without triggering a flashback or traumatic breakdown.

I had been returning to the trailer from my daily run when my big dumb German Shepherd started going nuts. She was not very vigilant or protective, for a dog, but she knew something was wrong that day. I finally realized it, too, when I saw my biological mother’s body being carried into what looked, on first glance, like a hole in reality. I couldn’t see what was carrying her at first, but after a moment I noticed the visual anomalies all around the trailer. Then I saw Abel’s body folded at the waist, arms and legs dangling. He bobbed up and down as one of those patterns of distorted light carried him toward that hole in reality.

The Erasers, and their vehicles, were cloaked by an active camouflage similar to what “the Predator” wore in that Arnold Swarzenneger movie from a couple years ago.

Years ago? It was all decades in the future, now.

Anyway…the “hole in reality” was just an open cargo door in one of their camouflaged vehicles. After the hit was executed, the assassin team were disposing of the bodies. Erasing people from existence. They murdered my biological family, and my poor stupid dog, trying to kill me.

I puffed my cheeks and told Dad, “No, you’re right.”

He flashed me a sidelong grin and backhanded me playfully in the chest. “You’ve got the brain of an engineer. Can’t help but try to figure stuff out.”

He turned onto the street where my new home awaited. A middle-aged mailman walking on the tree-lined sidewalk with a canvas sack slung over one shoulder waved cheerfully at us as we passed. Across the street, two young mothers who had been pushing baby strollers in opposite directions on that sidewalk were having an animated conversation with each other. Both their smiling faces turned toward us and they waved, too, before resuming their discussion. Further down the street, a man, perhaps in his 20s or 30s, was playing fetch with a fuzzy little dog in an unfenced front yard, apparently having a great time.

Now I understood how Marty McFly must have felt in that scene from Back to the Future when he first sees his home town as it had been in the 1950s. In relative time, it had been months since my reality had been immersed in that St. Louis trailer park in 1988. But the radical contrast between that and this world that  previous generations knew (and took for granted) still left me flabbergasted. I half-expected all the doors of those nice, clean, middle-class houses to slam open and an army of the undead emerge. The friendly, carefree people who waved to us would shapeshift into bloodthirsty monsters who would converge on us and drag us, screaming, from Dad’s car.

Dad’s expression turned solemn. “Remember our conversation, Sprout: the Erasers are looking for you. It’s a vast continuum, and they’re not sure where you could be hiding. You should be safe at these coordinates, so long as you don’t do anything to draw unnecessary attention. What’s your name?”

“Isaac,” I replied. “Peter is my middle name, now.”

“Okay,” he said, nodding. “What’s our last name?”

“Jaeger.”

“Who am I?”

“My dad.”

“Who is Angelina?”

“She’s my mother.”

This was a sore point with me. Dad lived different lives at different coordinates, and in each life I knew of, he had a different woman—or “spinning plate” as I had come to think of them. I considered this to be unfaithfulness to Mami by him. By extension, me accepting this arrangement with another woman as my mother made me feel like I was being disloyal, too. I didn’t need any mother but Mami, and believed Dad shouldn’t need anyone but her, either.

“Good,” he said. “Make sure you always call her ‘Mom,’ and think of her that way. She’s a nice lady, so give her a chance.”

I nodded, not saying anything, lest it come out as a grumble.

“I’m really glad you and Hortensia think so highly of each other,” he added. (Hortensia was Mami’s name.) “And I’m sorry for how confusing this might be. But trust me: it’s necessary. You’re gonna live the best possible life this way. And I’ll make sure you get to spend time with her on the regular.”

I nodded again and he seemed satisfied.

“Stick to our cover story any time somebody asks you a personal question,” he reminded me. “We’re just normal people, with normal problems and normal aspirations. Copy?”

“That’s a good copy,” I replied, using the lingo I had learned from him.

Our house looked very similar to all the other houses in the neighborhood. He braked the Willys to a stop just past the mailbox, then backed it into the concrete driveway. He didn’t park it in the two-car garage because that was currently occupied by the Auburn Speedster and a Packard sedan.

As we got out of the Willys, the front door opened and Angelina appeared, grinning and greeting us in a thick Sicilian accent. “My two handsome boys are finally home!”

She was dark like Mami, but not as short, and without as much padding. Despite my resentment of her, I recognized she was beautiful. And even with an apron on over a simple house dress, it was obvious even to my pre-adolescent self that her body was, frankly, perfect.

She rushed over to meet me halfway and embraced me. “I’m so happy to see you, Isaac. Just wait to see what I have for you in the kitchen!” Despite the accent, she seemed to be comfortable with all the typical American colloquialisms.

Honestly, she was a sweet lady, like Dad said. She had no knowledge of Dad’s other lives, or Mami, so it wasn’t fair of me to think of her as “the other woman” trying to steal Dad’s affections away from their rightful recipient.

“Good to see you, Mom.”

It wasn’t that hard to say, after all.

She released me and turned to Dad. Their embrace was of an entirely different character. I averted my gaze, not wanting to see them play tongue tag.

They went inside holding hands, and I followed.

 

***

 

Bakersfield, California had just suffered an earthquake the previous year. Many houses had been damaged, and some destroyed. Real estate prices had dropped as a result. Developers rushed in to buy up land, promising to rebuild the town even better than it was before. Dad was one such developer.

We had met the Benakes at a campground in 1947, during summer vacation. Dad and Mr. Benake had a long conversation while I was developing an intense infatuation with his daughter, Gloria. Benake spoke of property values and investment opportunities around California. Dad did some research and decided Bakersfield, right after the earthquake of August, 1952, was when and where to buy property. He bought a lot, for cheap—including warehouses, restaurants, and several lots right in this neighborhood. He was raking in “passive income”—rent, mortgages, retail profits, and was working toward buying controlling stock in the phone company.

The Benakes, who were from Oakland, apparently found the opportunities in Bakersfield too enticing to pass up as well. They moved here a couple years before the earthquake—not having Dad’s advantage of temporal flexibility.

During Dad’s reconnaissance of the area, I had a chance to do some scouting of my own, and found the town idyllic. It turned out the kids I had met at the park would be schoolmates (except for Gloria, who was one of the “big kids,” in high school). They all lived in the same neighborhood I now did.

I didn’t appreciate it at the time, but most families at these coordinates were either able to buy a house outright, or pay it off within a few years. That was pretty rare where/when I came from. Even my mother’s shabby trailer back in St. Louis was a rental. So far as I knew, neither my biological mother nor father ever owned a home.

What really surprised me was how nice that Bakersfield neighborhood was—despite being inside the city. I thought only the suburbs could be this nice. Dad told me slums were the exception instead of the rule, in the 1950s.

There was no crime to speak of in Bakersfield. Every house had a well-tended lawn and back yard. The picket fences were more to keep toddlers contained than to keep other people out. The mail man and milk man seemed to know everybody by their first name, and performed their jobs cheerfully. Once in a great while a cop would come through the area, in a car or on foot—and even they were friendly. Kids could play in each other’s yards, or on the streets, and easily obtained parental permission to wander around or go to a store, and there was no fear that a kidnapper or some kind of sicko would nab us. To hear some of the mothers talk, the world was much more dangerous than in previous times…but it sure didn’t seem dangerous to me.

What really impressed me was how courteous, considerate, and respectful everyone was to each other. I had never seen that. The neighbors I’d had in the future were antagonists, busybodies, junkies, or thieves.

Ronny’s family were the only blacks in my new neighborhood. They kept their home nice, like everyone else, were neighborly, and shared the common values, so far as I ever saw. They fit in, despite how often I’d heard what a racist dictatorship America was back in the dystopia of the postwar era, where lynching blacks was a more popular pastime than baseball.

I’ll never forget the first time I witnessed the Pledge of Allegiance at school. I didn’t know what was going on, but I stood up like all the other kids, and approximated the same pose, as they recited words I wouldn’t memorize until later:

 

I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America

And to the Republic for which it stands:

One nation, under God, Indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.”

 

Ronny recited it along with the rest of the class, and seemed no more irreverent than anybody else was. In the world I came from, we were conditioned to believe America was racist, greedy, exploitative…the cause of all the world’s problems. All of us were influenced by the anti-American narrative, but especially blacks and other minorities. They hated white people in general, but especially if you said or believed anything positive about our country. This pledge honoring a republic under God was a real stunner. The culture in 1953 actually encouraged Americans to appreciate their country, and freedom. Americans of all ethnic backgrounds seemed to do just that.

There were a couple times I heard somebody make a racist crack about Ronny. Once it might be something about watermelon. Another time it might be purposely mispronouncing words to approximate stereotypical black speech. Another time it would be a comparison of Ronny to somebody else of the same color—like Buckwheat from Our Gang or Rochester from the Jack Benny Show. The kind that seemed to be the hardest for Ronny to ignore was somebody humming or whistling “Swanee River” when he made an entrance. Sometimes even his friends would do it. It angered me, but Ronny would just shake it off and go on. However, one time I spoke up.

“Hey, don’t talk like that. That’s not cool.”

“What?” the other kid protested, innocently. “I’m just joshin’. Ronny knows I don’t mean anything by it.”

“If you don’t mean anything by it, then don’t say it,” I said. “Words mean things.”

“Who do you think you are, Slinger?” I’ve known him longer than you have. Right, Ronny?”

(“Slinger” was the nickname I originally introduced myself with to these boys, after a recently famous quarterback: “Slingin'” Sammy Baugh. They often pronounced it with a derisive tone, due to what they considered my lack of humility, I guess.)

Ronny flashed a grin and shook the kid’s hand, so I let it drop, surprised and disappointed.

When I reflected on it, I considered Ronny’s position. He wasn’t trying to embarrass me after I stuck up for him—he was wisely defusing the situation. If such confrontations became ugly, they might devolve into some kind of black vs white conflict—in which case, he would be completely isolated and outnumbered.

The cracks and jokes stopped after that for a while; but then the habit began redeveloping. Whenever it happened after that, I simply began making fun of whoever did it. I zeroed in on superficial characteristics that the person had no control over—like freckles, big ears, a stutter, a lazy eye or a big nose. I would be relentless for the rest of the day—sometimes getting downright nasty in my harassment of the perpetrator. Ronny never participated in that. But one day we were both the first ones in the locker room for practice, and he made a point of shaking my hand.

“Be cool, Slinger,” Ronny said, with no irony in his tone. “Maintain an even strain, okay?”

That comment puzzled me the more I thought about it. I guess he was warning me to be careful not to make too big a deal about all the little backhanded slurs.

Still, our circle of friends caught on after a while. We all liked Ronny, and thought of him as one of us, but young kids can be superficial and cruel. Guys like Ronny were just natural targets for superficial cruelty. I had been on the receiving end of prejudice in St. Louis, and would always remember the unfairness and ignorant tyranny of it.

 

***

 

I got to know Kip, Charlie, Ronny and the rest of the gang pretty well. When pressed for my real name, I gave them my new identity details. As we grew closer over time, “Isaac” would be shortened to “Ike.” Some of them still called me “Slinger” when they were feeling buddy-buddy, or when I’d thrown a good pass in a game.

I got used to it. Like Dad said, Ike Jaeger was a big improvement over Pete Bedauern. Also, it drew a connection between me and the president of the USA: Dwight D. “Ike” Eisenhower, who was popular with a lot of people. If popularity was part of what it took to become a great quarterback, then I’d accept any help becoming popular I could get.

We played more sandlot football, but had a lot of fun together doing other stuff, too. We took trips to the soda shop (a popular hangout for kids of every age, though high-schoolers seemed to have a monopoly on the stools and tables), the record store (Dad bought me a period phonograph and pretty much all the records I asked for, so I made it my mission to learn and keep up on all the popular music of the time), the YMCA, and the hobby store.

My new friends and I talked about sports, comic books, radio shows and, increasingly, girls.

Like me, few of the boys knew that much about the subject. To us, sex was about breasts and lips. I suspected there was more to it than that, but I didn’t think about it that much, and didn’t yet have an appreciation for all the steps to that primordial dance. There was so much fun to have, usually it took a sighting of Gloria to get me obsessing about “sex” (breasts and lips).

It was a fantastic summer, but came to an end too quickly.

 

***

 

Once school began in Bakersfield, I was grateful that I knew some of the other kids, already.

After the first day of class, I brought the football permission slip home, assuming Dad would just sign it without fanfare.

Instead, I had to endure a health lecture before he would sign. He said it was related to the earlier lecture he gave me about life paths. Just as foolish decisions I made could put me on the wrong path through life, so could seemingly simple mistakes on the football field.

Me and other boys were growing bigger and stronger by the day, Dad explained. Serious injuries could occur now from collisions on the field that wouldn’t have broken anything when we measured at smaller proportions. It all had to do with mass. He wrote the equation out for me. Then he warned me about scrimmage drills at practice. I might wind up playing a position that required tackling—so I needed to do it right every time to avoid getting hurt. He took me out to the back yard and demonstrated how to deliver hits in football, then had me mimic the techniques. After training me how to tackle correctly, he commanded me to always do it that way—even if a coach wanted it done differently.

He said my physical conditioning was already more than enough for football, but he went on at length about eating habits before a game, and the importance of staying hydrated.

I doubted if any other boys had to go through all this to get their permission slip signed. It also told me Dad didn’t consider me a natural at the game. If I could ever get him to believe I was a great player, it was a cinch I had finally arrived.

 

***

 

I tried out and made the football team. Kip, Ronny, Charlie and Fredrico were on the team, too. Six had been my jersey number on the Bulldogs, so that was the number I asked for at Carson. The coach said somebody else had it, and threw me a jersey with the number eight. That was my number, now.

I was still far from an expert on the game, it turned out. I had never quite seen the kind of football practiced and played under Coach Filbert. He deployed a “single wing” offensive formation, which made for a run-heavy game, based largely on trickery—much different from what I’d watched and played. But at first I didn’t even get to play on offense. He had me in the defensive backfield, second string.

My fortunes changed one day in P.E. Filbert was the P.E. teacher, and on Fridays, if we behaved ourselves, he’d let us spend the period playing a game. On that day, we played a game with some similarities to “flickerball.” My team trounced the other one, because whenever I got the ball, and no matter how far I was from the goal board, I could lob a perfect spiral right through the center of the hole. At the very next practice, he had me try out for wingback. Apparently, in a single wing, anyone in the backfield could run or throw a pass…and the quarterback threw more blocks than passes in that offense. I was too small to be the fullback, but I could catch well. I was hard to tackle; and now Coach Filbert knew I could throw the ball a long ways, with accuracy.

The pads were skimpy and the helmets had no face masks. The uniforms were dorky-looking hand-me-downs and the numbers were random. But I was a real football player, now. Dad bought me a pair of cleats that fit well, and boy, could I juke and cut with those on. It amazed me what an advantage a good pair of cleats could give a player. I felt like John Riggins with those cleats on.

 

***

 

Classes in school were different from what I was used to. Teachers were strict, and their expectations were high. Goofing off in class resulted in a visit to the principal’s office, or swats with a wooden paddle—for everybody, not just white kids. Not finishing homework or studying for tests could get you flunked. I squeaked by in history, because I’d been studying parts of it at BH Station. Math and science were my strong subjects, so I held my own in those, and I was competitive and in terrific shape, so P.E. wasn’t any problem. But English was tough and civics seemed useless. I had to push myself just to maintain a B average.

Whatever my day-to-day concerns, I tried to keep my situational awareness sharp, as Dad had emphasized. The Erasers could come for me at any time. It was “standard operating procedure” (another of Dad’s terms) that they strike with no warning, and when their victims least expected it.

 

UPDATE:  This book is published! Click here to buy on Amazon.

Click here to buy anywhere else.

Am I Part of the Iron Age?

First of all, what is “Iron Age,” besides a hashtag and keyword?

Since (I think) it began after one of Razorfist’s rants, primarily among independent comics creators, let’s look at it through the lens of comics for a moment.

Action Comics #1, introducing the very first comic book superhero, is where I place the start of the Golden Age. I think all agree that it ended before 1956. I would place it more toward 1949, when all but a handful of superheroes disappeared from circulation. Because of the crude (sometimes downright childish) art and writing, few are as fascinated with it as I am. Still, that period is universally recognized as “The Golden Age.”

Experts identify the “reimagining” of the Flash, in 1956, as the beginning of the Silver Age. And though the Flash is a DC character, it was Marvel that made the biggest splash during this era.

The first comic book I ever laid my hands on. I think it’s from the Bronze Age.

Near as I can figure, the Bronze Age was when I first discovered comic books. It was the ’70s-80s, when comics could still be found on spinner racks in drug stores and gas stations, kids still read them, and the politics weren’t nearly as unbearable as they would become later. There were no cultural Marxist screeds yet–the writers usually conducted a Gene Roddenberry charade of balance, where those accursed right-wingers also had a right to their opinions.

Below is the Razorfist rant in which I believe the term “Iron Age” (as it applies to entertainment) may have been coined (as with all Razorfist rants, I apologize for the profanity but accept your gratitude for the humor):

Usually, “ages” of this, that, or the other are determined retroactively. If nothing else, The Iron Age is unique in that it has been named while it is ongoing.

In this video, Katie Roome gives an educational introduction to the Iron Age:

Even though there is a website called “Iron Age Media,” the Iron Age isn’t a publisher or an organization. It’s the age of entertainment we’re living through. More than that, according to many: it’s a movement by independent creators. The nature of the creations is outlined by Katie Roome fairly well.

Some of my readers might ask if I’m a part of this movement. Well, I started blogging, and published my first novel (independently) approximately a decade before the Wu Flu lockdowns. That alone might disqualify my work, depending on how rigidly one wants to define the Iron Age. My primary goal has always been to tell good stories and entertain, but I have offended many a leftist snowflake by pushing back against the woketard agendas and narratives that dominate pop culture so far. I do this increasingly in my bestselling Retreads series, for instance.

Along with the Detective Comics title above, this represents my very first comic book purchase–with change given me by whatever adult I lived with at the time. I can’t remember if there was added tax, so let’s say 50 cents for both.

However, my fantasy shorts and retro-pulpy boxing novella are exclusively entertainment, devoid of any contemporary politics.

So am I part of the movement? I am still publishing work, in the post-lockdown era, so maybe. In any case, I certainly sympathize with it (as I understand it) and applaud the intentions of the creators who are part of it. There is no single authority on, leader of, or governing body over Iron Age (setting it apart from “Comicsgate,” perhaps) so it’s academic, if not moot.

When I am finished with my current time travel series, I plan to shift my efforts from prose over to sequential art. My first graphic novel, a sort of pulpy space opera, will resume once I find a dependable artist with integrity. For now, a black & white “false start” (not intentionally such) is available for free on Arkhaven.

If the Iron Age is a movement, I’m looking forward to what is produced from within it.

Shades of Black: In Darkness Cast – a Review

by Jonathan Shuerguer
Reviewed by the INFAMOUS REVIEWER GIO

 

The first thing that jumped at me when I read this book was how the author incorporated a monotheistic faith system in a world inhabited by warrior tribes resembling the Vikings which historically are known to worship multiple deities. I thought that created an interesting stage for the action to take place. Shuerger also does a very good job at baiting the reader into thinking this is going to be another ‘Conan the Barbarian’ kind of tale in the opening act, but then with the introduction of co-main character Ashkelon, things take a whole different path.

Who is Ashkelon? Imagine MCU’s Thanos and multiply by 100! Ashkelon is a warrior/wizard so powerful that he even seems to be bored in not finding worthy opponents to offer him a real challenge. Ashkelon takes young Gideon under his wing to train him up as the ultimate warrior of light. THIS is where the story excels, my fellow readers! The tension, the dynamics, the dialogues and moral debates these two characters engage in, all of that is where In Darkness Cast truly shines! 

Of course, we will witness battles for the ages, one-on-one combat that will keep you glued to your seat, and Gideon ultimately finding out who he really is and who he will become along the way. Oh, and big spiders, lots of ‘em!

The storyline is engaging and you feel like you want to keep reading because at any point in time this ride can take an unexpected turn!

There are a few secondary characters that felt too hollow and cliche`, particularly the elder Skald and the wolf-maiden Anya and her father. These characters come off as too one-dimensional, almost like ‘cardboard’ characters with not much to bring to the table.

The prose was probably my main issue. I understand that when we write fantasy inspired by ancient mythology we want to use a prosaic style that sounds appropriate, but we have to be careful not to slip and let some of our modern jargon taint this objective. For example, the use of the term ‘lactic acid’ to describe the onset of fatigue during a swordfight between two ancient warriors is probably not highly recommended, given the epic nature of the event!

Overall, I feel this book has:

  1. Great plot line  and dynamics between the two main characters
  2. A few superficial secondary characters that could have used more fleshing out
  3. A prose style that at times is not consistent with the world 

To wrap this up, I give this 4 stars out of 5 and if you enjoy a story that is not totally predictable and don’t care too much for solid prose, get yourself a copy today!

Rorschach, Watchmen, and Alan Moore

Alan Moore’s Watchmen, along with Frank Miller’s Dark Knight Returns, are probably the most influential comic miniseries ever published so far. Both were published in the mid-1980s and were milestones for comic books as a medium, and for superhero comics in particular.

Comic books, which started as a medium for young boys, had already been drifting away from its original audience, and with these two series, fully embraced the new adult nerd audience. Some aficionados will tell you this marks the point at which comics became serious. Others might suggest this is when comic creators began taking themselves too seriously. Though not at the toxic levels of woketardery we see today, after the success of these titles, the creators at Marvel and DC were unleashed to inject their cultural Marxist opinions into commercial sequential art, in increasing doses.

And here we are.

For whatever reason, somebody on X brought up the character of Rorschach recently, and whatever comment was initially made, it ignited multiple threads of debate about the character.

Moore Fanbois Miss the Point

I analyzed Watchmen 13-14 years ago, including the ironies involved in Alan Moore’s Rorschach character. Others have also noticed the ironies, and have been pontificating about them on X for the last few days. Rather than revisit what I and others have already noted, let’s look first at something Moore said:

The fact that Moore chose to depict Rorschach as a smelly incel is the evidence de jour Woketards regurgitate in order to claim that Rorschach is not a hero, but a fascist, psychopath, murderer, etc.

Moore did indeed depict him as a smelly incel. Also a freeloader, socially awkward, an apologist for atrocities committed by the Comedian character, etc. One thing this proves is that Moore was fighting the culture war long before most of his enemies even knew a culture war was underway.  (A lot of people are still amazingly oblivious to the culture war being waged against them.)

It’s quite simple. All Moore did was present a literary version of a debate strategy the leftists/SJWs/woketards have been employing for generations. They’re still using it today.

Ad-Hominem Revenge by a Gamma Writer Against a Fictional Stand-In for an Ideological Nemesis

Try criticizing the invasion in public (whether you call it “illegal immigration,” “crisis at the border,” or some more watered-down, sugar-coated term). You will be called “racist,” “white supremacist,” “xenophobe,” “conspiracy theorist,” etc.

You probably never even alluded to race, national origins, or any conspiracy. But leftists want others to believe you did. They couldn’t care less what is true or represents reality, but they know others do, and Marxists do care what those others believe. Left-wingers will always care what others believe, whether they are celebrating their 35th birthday in their mother’s basement or manning a machinegun in the guard tower of a gulag. It is precisely because they care what you believe that they will gleefully herd your family into a boxcar when the time comes.

  • They have no affinity for the truth.
  • They obsess about what others believe.
  • They want others to hate and fear you.
  • Others won’t hate you (or hate you enough) based on anything you’ve actually said or done.
  • They must provide reasons you should be hated and feared.
  • Name-calling, insults, and false accusations historically have instigated the hate and fear they desire.
  • Those whose beliefs can’t be controlled deserve humiliation and death.

Who did Alan Moore hate? I suggest you examine the characteristics which cause so many Watchmen readers to recognize Rorschach as the hero of the story: integrity, determination, conviction in his beliefs, and veneration for what is true.

Moore recognized these traits in the right-wingers he hates so much. These qualities probably made him hate them even worse. For his cultural Marxist, deconstructive narrative, he wanted a right-wing voodoo doll to stab. He took several superhero characters who he associated with the aforementioned right-wing ideals (Steve Ditko’s Charleton characters The Question and Mr. A in particular), blended them together, and formed that voodoo doll into who we know as Rorschach.

The Secret God-King Wins Again!

Since Moore is the writer, he has control over every character and what happens in the “grim, gritty” universe he fashioned for this narrative. His objective is to make you hate and fear those who believe in objective truth, who don’t compromise with evil, and who are willing to sacrifice themselves, if necessary, to speak the truth. Hence the passive-aggressive ad hominem attacks on this voodoo doll of his own making.

Joe McCarthy might be a great example of the archetype Moore loathes so deeply. It turns out that McCarthy was right all along, but hardly anybody will admit to it because they’re still so invested in a narrative with him in the villain role. That’s how effective the character assassination of McCarthy was–and the emotional reasoning everyone was lured into. This is why Moore wrote Rorschach as a smelly, freeloading incel whose commentary triggers normies and NPCs.

Rorschach is the only character who didn’t take the ticket. Nightowl, Silk Specter and even Dr. Manhattan compromised with evil. Moore, the manipulative god of that perverse world, allowed them to live because they sold their souls. Rorschach had to die for his “sin.”

Since it is so important to Moore and other authoritarian Marxists to control what others believe, it infuriates them when we recognize the ironies, and Rorschach’s heroic attributes, despite how angrily they keep stabbing the voodoo doll.

UPDATE: Looks like other bloggers also figured this drama was worth weighing in on. Dark Herald probably cross-posted this on Arkhaven, but here’s his take on Fandom Pulse. And here’s yet another article on the topic, possibly by the very person who ignited this row. Both are worth reading. However, I was blocked from commenting and flagged as spam. Interesting.

A Tale of Two Blurbs

Getting another promotion together for the first book in the Paradox Series. Hope to get some reviews, increase visibility, get readers to invest in the series–all the usual stuff.  Anyway, the outfit I’m working with rewrote my blurb, as part of their services.

To be honest, the existing blurb could be better. I didn’t slip in the time machine as smoothly as I should have, for instance:

Pete Bedauern began his life as a latchkey kid in a run-down trailer park with a single mom, living on stale hot dog buns and bleak prospects. Those were the cards Fate had dealt him, and Pete was on his way to becoming an angry young man. Then Pete’s estranged uncle burst on the scene to punch Fate in the mouth.

Uncle Si is scarred inside and out; he’s a hard drinker; painfully blunt; a little mysterious and maybe even scary, but takes an interest in his nephew that Pete’s father never took. Most of Uncle Si’s life is a secret, but through the part of it he shares, Pete undergoes a master course on life, love, and full-contact sports.

As it turns out, Uncle Si not only has tons of money, multiple businesses, and a fleet of fast cars–he also owns a time machine.

Paradox is one good-hearted-but-alienated boy’s odyssey into manhood, and Escaping Fate is the opening leg of that journey. Before it’s complete, Pete will learn the guarded secrets of history, take on a pan-continuum conspiracy, contend for a world championship, crack the code for success with women…and even save the world.

Well, one world, maybe…

And here’s the rewrite:

Plunge into the gritty reality of Pete Bedauern, boy marooned in the desolation of decrepit trailer park, his life monotonous echo of neglect under the care of beleaguered single mother. 

His days, blend of stale sustenance and dwindling hopes, seem destined to mold him into resentful youth. But destiny takes an unexpected turn with the explosive arrival of Uncle Si, figure as enigmatic as he is transformative.

Uncle Si, marked by life’s brutal trials with scars both visible and hidden, emerges as an unlikely mentor. He is unapologetically raw, man who’s tasted life’s extremes, from the depths of pain to the peaks of success. Beneath his gruff exterior and shrouded past, he harbors profound interest in Pete, offering the paternal attention Pete has long been starved of. Through Uncle Si’s guidance, Pete embarks on profound journey, masterclass in the nuances of life, the complexities of love, and the adrenaline of full-contact sports.

But Uncle Si is more than just mentor with worldly possessions and wisdom. He possesses staggering secret – time machine. As Pete steps into the realm of the impossible, he is catapulted into thrilling odyssey. “Paradox” is not just journey through time; it is Pete’s voyage into the heart of manhood. Along this electrifying path, he unravels history’s hidden truths, confronts sinister pan-continuum conspiracy, vies for world championship, and deciphers the elusive art of winning hearts.

As Pete navigates this labyrinth of adventures, he stands on the precipice of not just changing his own fate, but the destiny of an entire world. 

This is more than story of growth; it’s an exhilarating ride through time and transformation, where boy emerges not just as man, but as savior of worlds – at least one, perhaps more.

Me personally, I don’t see this as much of an improvement. Seems like they just jammed in as many SEO keywords, adjectives an “strong action verbs” as possible, without even knowing what happens in the book. In fact, I wonder if they used AI to come up with this.

“Plunge into the gritty reality of…”

“He possesses a staggering secret…”

“…labyrinth of adventures…”

Holy purple prose, Batman.

“…the nuances of life, the complexities of love, and the adrenaline of full-contact sports.”

Is that really better than simply “life, love, and full contact sports”?

Seems like change for the sake of change. When you look at something objectively, there is prose that works and prose that doesn’t work. The assumption here is apparently that absolutely nothing in the existing blurb works…that every single sentence needs to be cram-packed with adjectives and over-the-top verbs.

I don’t buy it.

Does this writing style really sell books?

With some changes, they’re trying to cast a wider net and attract every kind of reader. Note how they changed this line to avoid offending feminists, white knights and manginas:

My words: “…crack the code for success with women…”

Their words: “…deciphers the elusive art of winning hearts.”

But, see, my books are not for every kind of reader–especially feminists, white knights and manginas. This version of the blurb may not offend them, but what’s in the book still will. I learned from experience to intentionally put trigger words/phrases in product descriptions to scare the woketard Thought Police away. These folks are trying to undo that. And frankly, their version sounds lame.

“…beleaguered single mother”? Beleaguered by who or what? Why do they say that? I’ll tell you why: once again, they’re trying to avoid offending the Karens in our gynocentric culture. “See here, Henry! Single mothers are heroes and victims! In the problematic way you wrote it, you leave room for people to assume that being raised by a single mother might be less than ideal. You have to make it clear that any shortcomings of a mother raising a child in that scenario must obviously be somebody else’s fault!”

Maybe I should go ahead and run it close to how they wrote it, and see if it has an effect on sales. They may not know much about the book they’re trying to describe (in a voice completely unlike the voice of the narrator), but it might be a safe assumption that they know a lot more about SEO than I do.

If I were a reader/shopper, the existing blurb would have a much better chance of piquing my interest than the the version the professionals (or AI) came up with. But I also know not everybody thinks like I do.

Here’s the book in question.

Here’s the link to buy it outside of Amazon.

Altar of my Fate by Michael R. Schultheiss – a Review

By THE INFAMOUS REVIEWER GIO:

 

Sometimes a book is good, sometimes is average, a few other times is very poor. But every once in a while you find one that is plainly and utterly GREAT!

The Rosteval Saga book 1: Altar of my Fate is all that and then some! What can I say, this book’s got it all: excellent prose, characters, plot. The author was able to really capture the spirit of the ‘ancient warrior’ with a dash of fantasy lore. The result is a true epic, a ‘classic’ in my opinion. 

Too many times we’ve seen modern writers not being able to distance themselves from the world we live in to produce an epic that feels authentic. Schultheiss here was able to create not only an ancient world that feels tangible but an entire English language disconnected from modern urban English.

The pace is fast when it needs to be but also slower when characters or locations need to be further explored.

Now, this story might not be for the squeamish due to some violence and other subjects considered ‘taboo’ in modern society. But if you yearn for true ‘escapism’ and want to visit ancient exotic lands and witness men become demigods, this is a MUST READ!

 

*Note: the only issue I have with this book is the cover! That cover does the story no justice and it’s a disservice to the true spirit of this epic classic. Maybe I’m nitpicking but I just had to call it out!

 

Stay tuned for review of Book 2 coming soon!

Catskinner’s Book by Misha Burnett – a Review

By THE INFAMOUS REVIEWER GIO:

 

Yeah, it’s a trap, and we know it’s a trap, and they know that we know, and so on and so forth. We go anyway, or we run away. I’m tired of running.”

James Ozwryck 

 

Imagine a quirky, dark humored, action/sci-fi movie directed by David Fincher and starring Edward Norton and perhaps Margot Robbie as co-star….THAT is what Catskinner’s Book felt to me the whole time I was reading! 

Of course, if you ask author Misha Burnett, he will tell you that the concept of this story is based in part on himself as he was diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder, and part of his motivation for writing this was an attempt to convey what D.I.D. feels like from inside.

The other main inspiration for this quite unique and peculiar tale was William S. Burrough, specifically his Nova Express trilogy. 

This story is about James Ozwryck, a seemingly ordinary store clerk who believes he has an entity or alien form residing within him which he calls ‘Catskinner’. James and Catskinner communicate and even ‘argue’ at times, but the interesting thing is that when catskinner takes over James’ body he can find himself achieving physical feats otherwise impossible for a guy his size. As far as James can remember, Catskinner has always been with him since birth.

The entirety of Book 1 revolves around James finding out more and more about Catskinner and its origins, and to be honest, I was HOOKED! The story has good pace, good prose style that brilliantly reflects the urban language of our times, some jaw-dropping action scenes, violence and a dry sense of humor that-in this context-is very spot on.

If you were wondering what the book cover was about, that cover is from a photo shoot of Burnett’s roommate and those are the author’s hands you see. What the image reflects is the main character James wanting to care for and protect Godiva, the co-main character.

Now that I highlighted some of the positive aspects of this book, let’s turn our attention to some of the negatives which lead me to score this more like a 4 out of 5 stars…

 

The Closing Act:

As I always advise authors, no matter how many sequels in one particular series you plan to write, you still have to offer a ‘complete experience’ to your readers in each individual book. Unfortunately, I feel like this book fails to accomplish that. The conclusion felt rushed, hollow, and disappointing. We basically end up where we started from and we realize we have learned close to zero about what we were seeking along with the main character. The end is abrupt, almost like the writer didn’t know what else to do and decided to just end it there. I am all for cliffhangers and creating expectations to read the next book, but at the same time, each book must deliver some sense of fulfillment or that at least we have moved on from point A to point B… I just did not see that here, although the entire ride was extremely fun and suspenseful. Actually that in itself made the end that much more disappointing for me personally.