Category Archives: Superhero

One Detour from the Great American Novel

I’ve mentioned before some of the reasons I took so long to finish the rough draft for Paradox. One interruption was what appeared to be an opportunity to write graphic novels:

 

For those who don’t know, I’m a novelist. I’ve had ideas for some comics & graphic novels for a long time—including many superhero stories which take place in a “world” I built as a boy and has evolved as I sporadically brainstormed about it in subsequent years.

My first creative efforts were pictures of superheroes, and later my own comics, panels drawn on whatever scrap paper I could find, plotting and character development handled on-the-fly, and assembled slapdash with staples, Elmer’s Glue, or whatever binding method I could improvise. My writing experience began as a necessary adjunct of those efforts.

My drawing was pretty good for somebody who was self-taught and seat-of-the-pants. I can honestly say I was a better freehand artist than anyone I ever met, until I went to college. I wasn’t in the same league as any comic artist from the Bronze Age on, but had I developed better habits and techniques, maybe I could have gotten there. I’ll probably elaborate in the future.

In my late teens, I drifted away from “kid stuff” (comic books) and began aspiring to more “serious” creative efforts (text-based fiction). I gradually quit drawing and began concentrating on writing–which, at the time, was a bigger challenge.

My shift to prose solidified over the years and the old sequential art ambitions collected layers of dust on the back shelf. Even so, the seeds of that superhero saga germinated in my mind and never completely faded away.

The old dream languished, increasingly resembling a pipe dream as the years stacked up and life took me further and further away from ever having the time to make a serious effort at that partially-developed idea on the shelf.

And then…

One day on Gab, a publisher who I’d never met or heard of (he was from Europe) DM’d me out of the blue. He said he liked my prose and asked if I’d ever considered writing a graphic novel before.

Little did he know the depth of my appreciation for the medium and my abandoned dream. The dream had never completely died, though my drawing ability had.

This would have been flattering, but at first I didn’t think the dude was serious; or I must have misunderstood him or something. But no: after exchanging messages for a while, it became clear he wanted me to write a graphic novel for him. He had published a couple (illustrated) based children’s books; which I checked out. Amazon banned one of them, which is a badge of honor in my view. I did buy and read one that survived.

Anyway, I dusted off another idea I’d been nursing for years (a sci-fi aviation adventure in another galaxy) and pounded out a rough draft. I had some experience writing screenplays, and comic scripts aren’t too terribly different.

The experience effectively gave me a jump-start. I got the bug to chase that old dream.

 

Read the whole article on Substack.
Feel free to comment here, there, or both.

Superpowers and What They Reveal

If you could have a superpower, what would it be?

I’m guessing that’s a question that’s been asked in interviews at Marvel and DC for decades, now. Not completely unrelated: in what decade did the last noteworthy superhero debut? I’m thinking the ’60s, but maybe it was the ’70s.

We’ve all seen the creative implosion in mainstream entertainment. That industry has always been crawling with commies and perverts, but back in the day they at least had talent and could create art that decent people enjoyed.

Sometime between when they persistently but subtly slipped their cultural Marxist messaging into movies/literature/music that  otherwise  had merit, and ramming blatant Globohomo narratives down the audience’s collective throat at every opportunity, the vehicles they deployed to deliver their mind control also lost their entertainment value. They lost any modicum of originality, too.

Unable to come up with a single compelling story idea, Homowood can now only recycle what’s already been done several times before, or mine other IP from old TV shows, cartoons, toys, and comic books.

Comic “creators” (what an ironic phrase, when applied to Marvel and DC employees) can’t come up with a single interesting idea of their own. They simply take legacy characters still beloved, and pervert, race-or-gender-swap them to peddle more cultural Marxist narratives that drive fans away from the medium.

Let’s look at some of the efforts of comic writers to develop new, original characters, in the postmodern era, with a specific focus.

The bread-and-butter of Marvel and DC was the superhero.  Characters have personalities (well, once upon a time they did) of course, but what makes a hero super is their superpowers. What sort of superpowers have postmodern comic artists/writers given their characters? (By “postmodern,” I include Boomers, Millennials, and whatever Gen Xers managed to slip in between them.)

There’s a character by the name of Jazz–an aspiring rapper by day who moonlights as a crimefighting (?) mutant. His superpower: he can turn himself blue.

But Color Kid is even more powerful. He can not only turn himself blue–he can turn other stuff other colors, too. Evildoers best beware!

These are far from the only characters with gay-ass abilities, but I want to highlight some more characters with powers that are far less interesting than what they reveal about their creators. Let’s roll the clock all the way back to the beginning of the postmodern era for the first one.

Matter-Eater Lad:

This dude can (and does) eat anything–food, dishes, utensils, wood, metal, glass, whatever. I suspect this superpower was inspired by some real people in the comic company bullpens (and later, typical proprietors and customers at comic shops) who ate a lot more than they exercised. And eating disorders are a nice transition to…

Blob:

His superpower is, he’s morbidly obese. Bet you didn’t know that is a good thing, huh? Well, now you know that our country in the 21st century is overrun with superheroes. Blob is a hero that millions today can relate to.

Seriously, I don’t want to get off on a fat-shaming tangent, but it says a lot about the delusions of our cultural influencers that they would spin obesity as a heroic asset.

Domino:

Her superpower is good luck. I can’t disparage this one too much because, in real life, whatever invisible force is often dismissed as “luck” is more of a determinant of success than talent, expertise, discipline, effort and planning, in many situations. Most of the “creatives” in today’s entertainment achieved and maintain their positions by “luck” (plus checking the correct diversity boxes, and the integrity of a whore). If you don’t have “luck,” then it rarely matters how good you are or how hard you try–you’ll never get as far as the lazy, spineless, amoral, untalented hacks who have it.

Echo:

This one is a Freudian slip, personified. The superpower is the ability to copy somebody else. A comic book glorification of what woketards in the entertainment industry do: rip off the intellectual property of actual creators, and twist it to their own nefarious purposes.

Tattooed Man:

His tattoos come to life. That’s his superpower. Are you starting to see how most of these superpowers are just exaggerations of the real-world attitudes embraced by certain demographics?

In real life, there are NPCs who truly believe they can make themselves more attractive by covering themselves with ink and piercings. In their fantasies, I suppose, such modifications not only make them more attractive and interesting, but also more powerful.

Skunk:

This one’s superpower is, basically, body odor. Along with obesity, another common characteristic in evidence at comic book shops (and in the bullpens, probably) is an aversion to personal hygiene. Little did you lesser mortals know, but this is an inspiring crimefighting tool.

Rainbow Girl:

Her superpower is bipolar mood swings. Are you starting to see that these characters are simply grandiose self-inserts by the narcissists who work at the Big Two? What sane people see as a handicap, flaw, or disorder is ack-shully part of what makes the visionaries in mainstream comics so superior to you.

There’s a character introduced within the last few years whose superpower was the ability to force others to like her. I kid you not. So remarkable and inspiring was this character that I can’t remember her name. Neither, apparently, can the World Wide Web.

Examine the Cultural Gatekeepers:

You’ve got an industry run by fat, unbathed, mentally unstable basement-dwellers (who believe themselves to be secret kings and queens far superior to us, with the knowledge of how to fix the world’s problems), incapable of developing characters that anybody finds interesting–much less heroic.

When you think about it, the “creatives” in the industry today almost perfectly match the personality profile of the fictional mad scientist villains from the Golden Age. (“The fools! They’re threatened by my  superior intellect! But one day they’ll bow before me and be forced to admit I am the ultimate genius!”) Except the mad scientists actually knew enough about real science to build giant robots, resurrect dinosaurs, and genetically engineer monsters. Their real-life counterparts still can’t grasp rudimentary concepts like two genders, herd immunity, and the size of virus particles.

How was it different when our country was healthy?

Go back to the Golden Age, and most of the Silver Age. Characters created back then had superpowers like super strength, invulnerability, flight, X-ray vision, super speed, invisibility, growth, shrinking, stretching, fire, and breathing underwater. As farfetched as they were, those abilities were practical. It was easy to conceptualize how those superpowers could be utilized to protect the innocent, make society better, and counter threats to peace and order.

In the “silly” cultural phenomenon of comic books, we find a bellweather for the state of our civilization. Far from the only bellweather, of course. Just one more corroborating all the other evidence that our civilization is circling the drain.

I was inspired to study this subject by a comment AC (Anonymous Conservative) made on his website some time ago. He has done some groundbreaking work on r and K selection, what that looks like in human societies, and how pop culture reflects it. It’s no wonder that he made this observation.

(I recommend his book on r and K selection: The Evolutionary Psychology Behind Politics, and might review it here one day.)

As I understand it: from the colonial days, up until the end of WWII, America was mostly K-selected. We built stuff, could fix stuff. We protected women and children. We worked, saved, prepared for the future. We were trustworthy neighbors, loyal friends, good Samaritans to strangers, but vigilant about protecting/preserving our own families, property, neighborhood, etc. We didn’t tolerate obvious thieves, perverts, traitors, murderers or rapists. We certainly didn’t allow them to force their amoral attitudes on the rest of society. Superheroes with practical superpowers made sense in that civilization.

Long story short, America shifted toward r-selection in the Postwar era. They abandoned the values and attitudes that helped make us once great. They became , basically, a bunch of indulged brats who threw a party, trashed their parents’ house, then refused to clean up afterwards. In fact, their every effort concentrates on destroying what is left of the house. Every effort that isn’t focused on their own personal gratification, that is. This is exemplified by the forgettable superheroes this r-selected culture has introduced. And by how the iconic superheroes of yesteryear are being corrupted and destroyed.

What do you think?

Comics, Manga, Literacy and a Possible Renaissance

How do you hide something from a Millennial?

Put it in a book

Yeah, I know: harsh generalization. But I bet the statistics would back it up. I would also bet there’s a strong correlation (if not causation) between recreational reading and independent/critical thinking.

When Did the Slide Begin?

Some sources suggest America’s decline in literacy began in the 1920s. I consider it more likely that significant decline can be traced to 1947, when television began to proliferate in middle class homes across America. But whatever.

Two boys reading reading comics at a news stand, USA, circa 1955. (Photo by FPG/Hulton Archive/Getty Images)

What we do know is that  the popularity of comic books exploded in 1938 and lasted into the 1950s (the superhero craze lasted from 1938 until about 1945). Comic books have never been as popular as they were during the Golden Age. And the comic-reading demographic during that time was mostly boys. A lot of teenagers read them, some old enough to serve in uniform overseas, but the scale tipped significantly to pre-teen boys. Specifically, these were late-cohort GI Generation, Silent Generation, and early-cohort Boomers.

Changing of the Guard

Many from the latter generation would continue reading comics into adulthood. Some from that generation would take over the industry, and shift their sights to an audience of their own peers, turning their backs on the following generations.

Fast-forward to today. With some exceptions, the Millennials and Homelanders* are functionally illiterate and incapable of independent/critical thought. Lots of factors have converged to handicap them this way. One factor is there have effectively no comic books that excited them as boys and led them to a transition to “more serious” prose books.

I listened to one of Chuck Dixon’s podcasts recently, He mentioned that Manga has attracted the young audience that comics lost over the course of the Pozzed Age.**

What Manga Proves

If Manga can win back that young demographic, then why couldn’t American comics, too? After all, American comics are the original gangsta that first won that audience, anyway.

Here is a windmill worth tipping at. I have begun some research, starting with Demon Slayer, which a librarian says is one of the more popular titles with teenagers. So far as drawing and writing style, it is more refined than most of the Golden Age comics. But I don’t see the story quality as an improvement. I’m sure there is better Manga out there (and hopefully I’ll find some), but take note, my fellow creators: we can do better than this stuff!

We don’t have the equivalent of Anime to market comics to kids, but we should think of something. The Boomers will begin dying off, soon, and American comics will die with them as a medium, unless we crack the code for finding a young audience.

Share your thoughts in the comments.

 

* I use Generational Theory, as codified by William Strauss & Neil Howe, not the MPAI terms like “Gen Y,” “Gen Z,” “Zoomers,” etc.

** IMO this age began in the 1990s and is still in effect, at least when it comes to mainstream entertainment. Some of us are hard at work trying to usher in an Iron Age…history will determine if we’re successful.

Rorschach, Watchmen, and Alan Moore

Alan Moore’s Watchmen, along with Frank Miller’s Dark Knight Returns, are probably the most influential comic miniseries ever published so far. Both were published in the mid-1980s and were milestones for comic books as a medium, and for superhero comics in particular.

Comic books, which started as a medium for young boys, had already been drifting away from its original audience, and with these two series, fully embraced the new adult nerd audience. Some aficionados will tell you this marks the point at which comics became serious. Others might suggest this is when comic creators began taking themselves too seriously. Though not at the toxic levels of woketardery we see today, after the success of these titles, the creators at Marvel and DC were unleashed to inject their cultural Marxist opinions into commercial sequential art, in increasing doses.

And here we are.

For whatever reason, somebody on X brought up the character of Rorschach recently, and whatever comment was initially made, it ignited multiple threads of debate about the character.

Moore Fanbois Miss the Point

I analyzed Watchmen 13-14 years ago, including the ironies involved in Alan Moore’s Rorschach character. Others have also noticed the ironies, and have been pontificating about them on X for the last few days. Rather than revisit what I and others have already noted, let’s look first at something Moore said:

The fact that Moore chose to depict Rorschach as a smelly incel is the evidence de jour Woketards regurgitate in order to claim that Rorschach is not a hero, but a fascist, psychopath, murderer, etc.

Moore did indeed depict him as a smelly incel. Also a freeloader, socially awkward, an apologist for atrocities committed by the Comedian character, etc. One thing this proves is that Moore was fighting the culture war long before most of his enemies even knew a culture war was underway.  (A lot of people are still amazingly oblivious to the culture war being waged against them.)

It’s quite simple. All Moore did was present a literary version of a debate strategy the leftists/SJWs/woketards have been employing for generations. They’re still using it today.

Ad-Hominem Revenge by a Gamma Writer Against a Fictional Stand-In for an Ideological Nemesis

Try criticizing the invasion in public (whether you call it “illegal immigration,” “crisis at the border,” or some more watered-down, sugar-coated term). You will be called “racist,” “white supremacist,” “xenophobe,” “conspiracy theorist,” etc.

You probably never even alluded to race, national origins, or any conspiracy. But leftists want others to believe you did. They couldn’t care less what is true or represents reality, but they know others do, and Marxists do care what those others believe. Left-wingers will always care what others believe, whether they are celebrating their 35th birthday in their mother’s basement or manning a machinegun in the guard tower of a gulag. It is precisely because they care what you believe that they will gleefully herd your family into a boxcar when the time comes.

  • They have no affinity for the truth.
  • They obsess about what others believe.
  • They want others to hate and fear you.
  • Others won’t hate you (or hate you enough) based on anything you’ve actually said or done.
  • They must provide reasons you should be hated and feared.
  • Name-calling, insults, and false accusations historically have instigated the hate and fear they desire.
  • Those whose beliefs can’t be controlled deserve humiliation and death.

Who did Alan Moore hate? I suggest you examine the characteristics which cause so many Watchmen readers to recognize Rorschach as the hero of the story: integrity, determination, conviction in his beliefs, and veneration for what is true.

Moore recognized these traits in the right-wingers he hates so much. These qualities probably made him hate them even worse. For his cultural Marxist, deconstructive narrative, he wanted a right-wing voodoo doll to stab. He took several superhero characters who he associated with the aforementioned right-wing ideals (Steve Ditko’s Charleton characters The Question and Mr. A in particular), blended them together, and formed that voodoo doll into who we know as Rorschach.

The Secret God-King Wins Again!

Since Moore is the writer, he has control over every character and what happens in the “grim, gritty” universe he fashioned for this narrative. His objective is to make you hate and fear those who believe in objective truth, who don’t compromise with evil, and who are willing to sacrifice themselves, if necessary, to speak the truth. Hence the passive-aggressive ad hominem attacks on this voodoo doll of his own making.

Joe McCarthy might be a great example of the archetype Moore loathes so deeply. It turns out that McCarthy was right all along, but hardly anybody will admit to it because they’re still so invested in a narrative with him in the villain role. That’s how effective the character assassination of McCarthy was–and the emotional reasoning everyone was lured into. This is why Moore wrote Rorschach as a smelly, freeloading incel whose commentary triggers normies and NPCs.

Rorschach is the only character who didn’t take the ticket. Nightowl, Silk Specter and even Dr. Manhattan compromised with evil. Moore, the manipulative god of that perverse world, allowed them to live because they sold their souls. Rorschach had to die for his “sin.”

Since it is so important to Moore and other authoritarian Marxists to control what others believe, it infuriates them when we recognize the ironies, and Rorschach’s heroic attributes, despite how angrily they keep stabbing the voodoo doll.

UPDATE: Looks like other bloggers also figured this drama was worth weighing in on. Dark Herald probably cross-posted this on Arkhaven, but here’s his take on Fandom Pulse. And here’s yet another article on the topic, possibly by the very person who ignited this row. Both are worth reading. However, I was blocked from commenting and flagged as spam. Interesting.

Comic Books for the Mentally Healthy

Plenty of people are fed up with how the self-righteous leftards at Marvel and DC have ruined pretty much every character they inherited from creators and writers who actually had talent and imagination. The good news is that they now have options–and so do you. If you like the medium but the GloboHomo Narrative isn’t your cup of tea, you can read some decent graphic literature…for free.

New content is added multiple times a week at Arktoons, which now has a substantial amount of content. Arktoons is the online comic reading site built by Arkhaven Comics. We have reviewed Arkhaven titles Alt-Hero, Avalon, and Alt-Hero: Q here before. Those titles have been re-launced through Arktoons, plus a whole lot more.

First of all, there are  three “Classics” series, introduced by Chuck Dixon, reproducing some of the comedy, adventure, and war comics from the Silver Age. Chuck Dixon has some of his own, original work (in addition to Avalon and Q) available. Go Monster Go is a horror/Supernatural series about a ghost car that appeals to me because it’s about the teenage rebel hot rod milleu in the era before hot rodding diminished into a subculture (and then disappeared altogether). He’s also got Shade, a superhero series set in Europe.

There are some titles based on the literary work of Vox Day. Midnight’s War is set in a city controlled by vampires, where a small resistance cell is interfering with black market  blood plasma trafficking, and saving some would-be victims in the process. A Throne of Bones is a fantasy set in a Tolkienesque (?) world in which Roman legions (?) are at war, not with Huns or Goths, but with armies of goblins. I find the military perspective interesting, as I did with some of Howard’s Conan adventures. Quantum Mortis, so far, looks like military sci-fi set outside our solar system.  I’m interested to see where it’s going. Something I saw or read made me think it would be a sci-fi police drama, like American Flagg! (but without Howard Chaykin’s avante gard leftist crap).

There are a few series from Jon del Aroz, including Clockwork Dancer, a steampunk series about an inventor who gets in trouble for building robots; Flying Sparks features an aspiring superheroine who doesn’t know her boyfriend is a crook; and Deus Vult is about a knight on a quest through some sort of underworld populated by cat and frog people, on his way to match wits with the devil himself.

Swan Knight Saga is a fantasy based on John C. Wright’s YA novel, about a young man who can talk to animals, who finds out the world is secretly oppressed by elves. It’s better than it sounds.

Arktoons has several other series; but the one I have the highest expectations for is Hammer of Freedom, about a homeless veteran fighting the power in a GloboHomo police state (Sao Paulo, 2045).

Superheroes only make up a fraction of the lineup at Arktoons. There’s a pretty good chance there will be something for most comic fans (unless the comic fan prefers reading about transgender Norse gods or some such). I’ve found that, rather than read each snippet as they come out, I prefer waiting until those (often quite short) snippets accumulate to the point that I can absorb a significant portion of the plot line at one sitting.

The artwork varies. Some is very slick, while  some looks rushed and amateurish. The writing that I’ve seen runs from solid to perhaps brilliant.  Time will tell.

Again, it’s free, though you may want to subscribe just to support the creative teams making these comics available.

‘Fatgirl Goes to the Fugly Pride Parade’ by C. S. Johnson – A Review

“Fatgirl Goes to the Fugly Pride Parade” by C. S. Johnson is part of Appalling Stories 4 (an anthology to which I contributed). It’s the sole superhero story in the book. And Fatgirl is one unique superheroine.

Fatgirl has a superhuman menace to face down and stop in the tale, but is that her primary antagonist? Maybe, or maybe not. You see, Fatgirl’s alterego, Kallie Grande-White, is a high school student and so superhuman menaces are far from the only villains and challenges that she has on her mind. Indeed, they’re probably not even her primary ones. Like many a high school student, Kallie’s focus centers on her personal world and the drama that’s going on in it.

So how does a Fugly Pride Parade factor into all this. Well, you’ll have to read the story to find out. Suffice it to say that when the fat hits the fan and Fatgirl springs into action, the reader gets to experience a big fight with a big foe.

Pick up Appalling Stories 4 today and enjoy “Fatgirl Goes to the Fugly Pride Parade” and the rest of the tales.

Top Image: Excerpt of “Fatgirl: Origins: Part 1” by C. S. Johnson.

Alt Hero # 6 – a Review

We are back in Europe for this issue. The Global Justice Initiative is trying to track down the French nationalist superhumans.

The nationalists use the catacombs under Paris to escape, initially, and their invisible benefactor (invisible in this issue, anyway) has some tricks up the sleeve to help them along. Writer Vox Day has inserted some in-jokes for his blog followers, but not in a way that harms the flow of the story.

Arkhaven’s production quality continues to improve from issue to issue. Aside from an acquired personal affinity for the legacy superheroes that the Hive Mind drones at Marvel and DC are hell-bent  on perverting, there’s absolutely no reason to read any of the cultural Marxist comic books anymore.

Captain Europa does provide an excuse for losing the fight in Issue 4: he was taken by surprise. Not sure how you can consider it a surprise when you’ve already been fighting with the guy for a while, but this could just be an insight into the character’s self-rationalization mechanism.

All the Arkhaven comics have been worth the time and money so far, but I’ll write about my favorite one next.

Alt Hero #3 – A Review

Arkhaven is turning up the heat, and steering us toward a big showdown. They’re also still improving on all fronts in Alt Hero 3. The Rebel character is growing on me, too, though the sperg in me wants to inform her that foreigners are not Yankees. In fact, foreigners refer to all Americans, North and South, as Yankees.

Anyway…the SPC is aware there’s a rogue team of superheroes out there–nothing less could have liberated Rebel from their holding tank. So they do what the Federal government has done before: go after the family when their target proves too elusive. They set a trap for the rogues.

But the true heroes are a little too streetwise to fall for it. I won’t give any more away. Suffice it to say, I’m looking forward to the next issue (and 26 ad-free pages  just don’t seem like nearly enough for each comic. Sigh.)

Avalon #1 by Chuck Dixon – A Review

Arkhaven Comics is already making a name for itself. Granted: it couldn’t have come along at a time when the competition was less formidable. Still, they’re doing a lot of things right, and may just revive an interest in the medium from someone other than obese gamma basement-dwellers looking for something to do in between LGBT parades.

I don’t want to evoke the old post-Watchmen/Dark Knight Returns “grim and gritty” ideal…but to describe my impression in one sentence, I would say this: Avalon reminds me of the early Astro City comics, only darker.

The art strikes me as somewhere between classic Kirby and some of the ’60s Charlton work. As for the story…it seems Dixon is laying the groundwork for a character-driven saga that might border on deconstructive.

Forgive me for all the analogies (and I’m not going to assume Dixon’s goal is moral ambiguity), but Issue #1 strikes me as how the Cohen Brothers might attempt to tell a superhero story. A certain character pontificates on ethics, appointing himself to define the moral code all masked vigilantes should abide by. Meanwhile, some glaring chinks come into focus on his own shining moral armor.

With understated irony Dixon has no doubt honed to a fine point over his prolific career, this same character warns his crimefighting partner not to breathe in the cocaine dust kicked up by a fight with some bad guys. “Don’t want to get a taste for it,” he says. This comes just after a series of panels documenting his own (presumably first) moral failing–for which he will probably develop a taste.

Then again, will it be considered a moral failing in this narrative? I can’t predict for certain.

Another vigilante guns down some unarmed individuals–a couple in bathrobes–who have a child locked in a cage, waiting to be used in some sort of child pornography. As much as I cherish the Bill of Rights, the last thing I want to hear (read) is some speech about due process and how it’s wrong to become judge, jury and executioner, blah blah blah.

I suppose I’m jaded by the criminal “justice” system that occupies reality. Maybe Dixon is, too. It will be interesting to find out as this story weaves out.

Justice League – A Review

Last year I reviewed Batman Vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice and opined on the possibility that the next DC team-up blockbuster might be a formulaic clone of the other superhero movies (of which, the Marvel flicks have rather defined the cookie-cutter).

Well, it happened. Some god-like supervillain wants to control/destroy Earth (domination and destruction are interchangeable in these movies), but first he needs to collect some ancient mystical object with cosmic power…blah blah blah. (In this case it’s three boxes–one guarded by the Amazons, one by the Atlantians, and one by the humans.)

This age-old baddie (“Steppenwolf”) captures two of the boxes, bringing Aquaman and Wonder Woman onto the Batman’s bandwagon to form a super-team and stop him from obtaining the third, or Steppenwolf will achieve total…villainhood…or something.

I rather like Steppenwolf. I also like Jimi Hendrix, Jefferson Airplane and the Lovin’ Spoonful. Wonder if one of them will be the next all-powerful supervillain. But I digress.

JusticeLeagueClassicLeadership

So, Superman is still dead from the last blockbuster, which is one reason why the Batman thinks this team is necessary. If you don’t know much about the source material (comic books), then you probably aren’t aware of the characters and team dynamics that get trashed in all the virtue-signaling revamps by screen-adapting creative teams. Batman and Superman were “honorary members” of the Justice League. Obviously Batman had no super powers, but he was the superior tactician of the bunch and therefore the de facto leader of the team when he was there. But now it’s the current year (you mysogonistic bigots!) and Wonder Woman has to be the leader…because vagina. That’s one of the sub-plots of the film–Batman trying to push her into her rightful supreme role.

wonder-woman-batman

Since the main plot is nothing new, I guess I’ll just give you the down-low on the characters, as they are in this depiction.

SUPERMAN: (spoiler alert!…not) He comes back. And he’s got possibly one of the best lines in the movie. At first, after his ressurection, he’s a vengeful anti-hero willing to kill his allies…until Lois Lane gives him a hug. Then he is restored to his Boy Scout super-Samaritan god-dom as fast as you can say “applause-inducing plot device.” Because vagina.

BATMAN: He’s the old, over-the-hill version from Dark Knight Returns in this movie. Some good lines. Same pros and cons from the last movie. At least the writer/director is consistent in this case.

WONDER WOMAN: She’s not just attractive, she’s likeable. Unlike women in real life who think they ARE her.

CYBORG: I don’t remember much about him in the comics–he seemed little more than a token minority character. Here they’ve done a fairly good job fleshing him out and giving him some useful abilities that help the team. Not a marquis character yet, but OK.

flashcyborg

AQUAMAN: He’s basically Wolverine in a different costume, but more effeminate. Oh yeah–he doesn’t have to swim; he sort of flies underwater.

THE FLASH: The character in the TV show is whiny, but bearable. This Flash is the worst incarnation of him I’ve ever seen. Kind of like what the film makers did to Spiderman in Homecoming, only much worse. He’s pathetic. By the time his character arc brings him some backbone, I’m too irritated by the goofy appearance of his costume to pay full attention. They should have just borrowed the one from the Netflix series. This costume looks like something that would be worn to a Gay Pride Bicycle Race.

Nice visuals, of course. Some good dialog. The Batmobile was badass for about 30 seconds, before it (like every other cool multi-million dollar asset in these movies) met its obligatory destruction.

Not a must-see in the theaters. Wait ’till you can stream it at home.